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Advice, Columns, From Lesbos With Love »

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My ex-girlfriend was hesitant at first to tell me she loved me because she was worried she was confusing lust with love. When she told me this, I was upset. She had already said “I love you,” and it felt like she was taking it back. I knew with all my heart that I was in love with her, and her need to define – to calculate – what she was feeling offended and confused me. I had never thought about the difference until then, but when I did I had to admit that she actually made a good point. When we first meet someone we’re really into, we want them all the time – whether it’s sexually or emotionally (talking all the time) or both – it can be easy to confuse lust with love.

Sex, Television, Zack's Ramblings »

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Veronica’s gumshoeing has her frequently interacting with a host of attractive highschool boys. And I don’t just mean attractive within the world of the show. Typical to TV, most of the so-called “highschoolers” are probably in their 20s, and dreap-dead adorable. I wasn’t out in highschool, and my unrequited jock crushes certainly weren’t, so seeing all these post-pubescent fetish objects is killing me.

Columns, From Lesbos With Love, Sex »

I Love You

When do you say “I Love You” the first time in a relationship? Is there a “right” time? Or better yet, a wrong one? Why are these three simple words such a hurdle?

There are those who use it too liberally. They say it to a person they’ve just met who makes them laugh excessively, “oh my god, I just love you!” Or they say it to every person they’ve ever dated whenever they feel like it, because either they really do love everyone, or the phrase just doesn’t hold as much meaning for them. Then there are those on the other end of the spectrum who never say it at all – either because they are scared or overly cautious. I don’t think either extreme is particularly healthy, but I’m going to focus on the latter in this post.

Fears I’ve heard – You don’t want to rush your relationship. You don’t want to scare her. What if she doesn’t say it back? Once you say it you’re committed, and then what? You don’t know where to say it. Should you be dressed or naked? Is she more likely to say it back if you’re in bed? So many things to worry about!