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Commentary »


I seek some other connection that is not in the darkness of the backroom, or the anonymity of the Internet. Is sexual liberation merely letting it all hang-out? What I find revolutionary is getting beyond the shadows. Actual connections are what are really revolutionary. Men have been fucking other men in the shadows for thousands of years: Nothing is new about that. But allowing two men to love each other in the open, now that is revolutionary and something I can get behind.

Sex »


The discussion of trans bodies and sexual identities is one that, understandably, comes up a lot. There are many opinions on how people should or shouldn’t react to trans bodies, and how such people can or should be able to identify. I think that these topics are very valid and should be talked about. I just want to say before I start talking that these are only my thoughts. Yours might be different, that’s totally okay, and I would love to hear about them.

Columns, Ideas, Not Your Average Prom Queen, Politics »

Photo Credit: Katy Vertigan

In the blinding rainbow of our excitement about marriage equality let’s not forgot that there are more frightening opponents to face.

Although several candidates have officially declared, and some have officially declined bids – there are still several individuals speculated to announce their run. You pretty much just need to have written a book with the word “America” in the title to be considered for a GOP candidate these days.

For those of you who are uncertain about the effectiveness of Barack Obama’s presidency I hate to tell you- supporting his reelection is your only option.

Personal Narratives »

c. Wuyouyuan, Wikimedia Commons

I don’t mean old magazines, clothes you haven’t worn in a year, gifts you forget to give to someone two years ago, or dust bunnies in the corner. I’m talking about the closet of sexual desires, dirty little secrets, hidden dark fantasies, lost ambitions, and best keep plans for the future.

Dating and Relationships »

Me (the gay marriage Grinch) and my BF, in how I expect we will be married - solemn tasteful karaoke ceremony

This weekend something amazing happened – I started thinking about marrying my boyfriend. When, in the past, I considered the possibility of marriage equality in New York I, of course, expected to feel happy, but what I hadn’t anticipated was how it would change the way I feel about my relationship.

Pride »


I shuffled down the hall into Andrea’s room and sat on her floor in the middle of the rug. Looking down at the threads, at nothing in particular, I mumbled to her, “I……….. like guys.” She was the first person I had come out to… sober, that is. But my awkwardness was transformed by Andrea’s immediate response: “That’s wonderful! I’m so happy for you!” Her excitement changed an uncomfortable and self-doubting moment into a source of pride for me.

Columns, Ideas, Not Your Average Prom Queen, Place »

Times Square

As the resident of a big city (Chicago) and the former resident of an extremely touristy city (DC) I think a lot about the qualities an Urban (with a capital U) person. I also think a lot about the types of conformity, crazy efforts to fit in, and downright stupidity that is often associated with this desire to be cool and to be a part of the city in which you live. Although pretty confident about my knowledge and street cred in both DC in Chicago, when I travel I often find myself feeling like its the first time I’ve ever seen a building taller than a barn.

This is a meditation on finding confidence in new environments.

Film »

Making the Boys

When I was 15 years old, I couldn’t wait to attend a local community theater production of The Boys in the Band. I was intrigued by the play’s dark and mysterious reputation, and had heard that it included a lot of homosexuality (funny how that word isn’t used much anymore). It sounded like exactly what this budding young queer needed: some lessons about the yellow brick road ahead.

Place »

c. Javier Carbajal, Wikimedia Commons

Young gays these days seem to have a common narrative: grow up angst ridden in a small town in the closet, endure tortuous years in Jr. High and High School and then flee. Flee the oppression of small town america for a gay Mecca found in the urban centers of the world. Gay ghettos await the arrival of these newly hatched gay chickens after they graduate from high school or college looking for the new gay experience. Acceptance, beautiful gay men as far as the eye can see, and gay culture all await the newly hatched gay when they enter the US gay meccas of New York, LA, San Francisco, Miami, Chicago.

Pride »


June is my birthday month. It’s also pride month. This year, for the first time in my life, I got to celebrate it properly: in the eternal city, with a million other souls that together became one. Together we made ourselves visible, we made ourselves heard and we demanded respect.