Articles tagged with: coming out
I turn 29 on the 29th of next month. I am not at all bothered by the fact that I am ending my 20s, or that I am swiftly approaching 30. Those things mean nothing to me besides the fact that I’m probably in the best shape of my life, I’m in a great relationship, and have a good job.
What does interest me is that fact that I was 19 when I had my first real girlfriend, so this year I am marking my 10 year anniversary of Queerdom.
Commentary, Media »
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about Mark Zuckerberg. In part, this is because I recently saw, finally, the fictionalized account of the story of Facebook: “The Social Network,” written by Aaron Sorkin. There’s another reason though, something I recently found out about Zuckerberg: he and I went to camp together. This is not namedropping, or bragging, or trying to create a connection where there is none. Zuckerberg and I didn’t know each other at camp, though looking at Facebook I found that he and I do have two mutual friends from there. I don’t remember him, and he doesn’t remember me. So, yeah, big deal. Who cares?
I shuffled down the hall into Andrea’s room and sat on her floor in the middle of the rug. Looking down at the threads, at nothing in particular, I mumbled to her, “I……….. like guys.” She was the first person I had come out to… sober, that is. But my awkwardness was transformed by Andrea’s immediate response: “That’s wonderful! I’m so happy for you!” Her excitement changed an uncomfortable and self-doubting moment into a source of pride for me.
“Kiss me kiss me kiss me!” Jon exclaimed, unable to wait any longer. And I did. In that moment, the world split open. It was like the first time I successfully rode my bike without feeling like I would topple over in an instant; like the first time I read a book or listened to a song and really felt it; like the first time a fully formed word emerged amongst the gibberish of my infant mouth. All of those years I had been told that homosexuality was immoral and unnatural washed away with the initial mash of our lips. It wasn’t my first kiss, but it was the first that meant anything, and with it I knew that this was, for me, the most natural thing in the world. We kept kissing—dizzy and messy, tumbling over our laughter, arms in the wrong places, foreheads bumping, reuniting every time we tried to pull apart—until I was very late for my curfew.
Columns, Cynical And Southern, Ideas, Sexuality »
Even when things do get exposed and someone has been “outed”, it’s still just the revealing of the truth. It happened. They had a gay relationship. They’re gay. It’s a fact. Although the person may not be fully comfortable with their sexuality yet, and are not comfortable discussing it, it’s out there. They did what they did. They feel how they feel. They’re dating/having sex with someone of the same sex, and people know about it. “Outing” a celebrity or discussing their sexual orientation, when it’s not just speculation and there’s actual proof, is just discussing the truth. What’s wrong with revealing the truth?
Somewhere deep in the recesses of When Harry Met Sally early 90s meditations on gender, a gravestone of the most clichéd contemplation lies.
Can Men and Woman Really Be Just Friends?
Hopefully we have all moved past such a woefully simple perspective on gender and relationships to a place where friendships can exist without sex and sex can exist without friendships. Where men and women and gay and straight are all a part of one community with individual differences not characterized as whole groups. There does, however, still seem to be one question looming out there – when is the right time to “out” yourself?
Ideas, In Case You Missed It »
As the vegetable fuzz of buds and new leaves thickens on the boughs of trees, the sour scent of organic change begins to waft from pavement stains and poorly-kept lawns, and small mammals start to copulate with enviable abandon in public places, we’re can’t help but be struck by the same realization that catches up with us every spring: nature has hit puberty, and things can only get more awkward before they get better. While you ride out the seasonal tempest of rain, pollen, and hormones, keep sane with this week’s content.
Last year, after he let slip an F Bomb at a fellow rocker, The Black Lips’ Jared Swilley cleared the air with me and sealed it with a kiss. This year, he gave us some of his time to discuss his dad Jared Swilley, an Atlanta megachurch pastor who came out to his congregation. Not because he was caught on tape, not because of any scandal, but because he wanted to make the world a more tolerant place by being honest. Jim is a hero to me for that — watch him come out and see if you feel differently — and Jared is also pretty damn awesome for being so open on the subject. The worlds of religion, sexuality and indie rock rarely collide in a positive way, so its nice to see it happen here.
Three days before, I broke up with my first long-term boyfriend in what would prove to be the most difficult experience of my life. When she came out to me as a Pentecostal, we were at the dinner table with her handlebar-mustached fiancé, whom I assumed was the source of her decision. I looked up with swollen eyes, ruby slipper red from days of crying, and said nothing. I never would.