Jean – Columnist

I have no interest in computer/video games – not even online Scrabble or Farmville. My disinterest extends even farther: I don’t even like board games or cards game. They all seem like a waste of time. I have a lot of friends who like those things, but I just don’t get it! I liked SimCity as a kid, but by the time the Sims came around, I lost interest!

Levi – Columnist

I had a Gameboy Advance as a kid… and I still kind of want to find it and my games. My favourite games for it were probably Bomberman Tournament and Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2. There was also this one game called Survival Kids, where you are trapped on a desert island. It was trippy: animals could attack you, your food could go bad, and you could die.

Chris – NYC Editor

My relationship with RollerCoaster Tycoon tracked all too closely the trajectory of my adolescence: from the idealism–spiritualism, even–of my early teen years, where I created in my benevolent amusement park a utopia of sorts–offering free passes to every ride, meticulously cleaning and improving my park, keeping a keen eye on the mood status of every visitor–to the destructive nihilism of my late teen years, where the park became a dystopic experiment ground–with roller coaster tracks ending in mid-air, raised plots of land trapping a visitor in eternal vantage, and exorbitantly gouged umbrella prices for every rain storm. Thankfully, I’ve long since abandoned it.

Andrew Fogle – Managing Editor

Sid Meier’s Civilization franchise has easily consumed more of my time and emotional resources than any human relationship. The best part is getting to stage the kinds of political fantasies that, in the real world, really disturb me: brutal colonial oppression, expansionist tank offensives, democidal nuclear strikes, and so on. These games convinced me to stay out of public policy.

Katie Omberg – Staff Cartoonist

I was OBSESSED with Donkey Kong as a kid. I didn’t have any sort of gaming systems at home, but in elementary school a friend of mine got a Super Nintendo, and soon thereafter came the talk from my mom about how it was impolite to invite yourself over to other peoples’ houses. In middle school we got an N64, complete with Donkey Kong. It was amazing. I was also really into those old school computer games, like Jill of the Jungle and Commander Keen. Those were other games only to be enjoyed at the houses of others, being as we didn’t have a computer game.

Andrew D – Marketing Director

I’m a game junkie and while I don’t really have time to play much anymore I definitely enjoyed Warcraft and Starcraft or anything by Blizzard really. I’m big on quick on-the-go games like Words with Friends. Any and all word or puzzle games can steal hours from my day! Recently I’ve been addicted to the time-wasting ‘Pocket Frogs’ on the iPhone. Games could easily consume me if I let them! Thankfully I have some semblance of self control!

Michael – Co-founder & Webmaster

I’ve been digging Words With Friends and iPhone Scrabble lately. I’ve been playing Angry Birds, too, but it’s not stimulating enough to be a lot of fun.

Carrie – Boston Editor

My glory days of gaming involved the original NES and a bit later on, hours of MarioKart on Nintendo 64. Honestly, I’m wary of all the console, online, and PC games out there now. I’m definitely tempted to check them out, but also pretty sure I’d get instantly addicted and never see my friends, family or girlfriend again.

Bryan Garcia – Contributor

I’m digging my Wii tennis game. I may never be as bootylicious as Serena Williams, but at least I can pretend to play like her.

Hannah Everhart – Contributor

My first and only game system was Super Nintendo. I got it when I was nine and had it until it broke a couple years ago. Yoshi’s Island was my favorite game–what’s not to like about a green dinosaur that can change color, lay eggs AND breathe fire?!

‘Stine – Contributor

Oh that is sadly easy. The worst advice I received was no advice. The first time I went abroad (at 19) my mom gave me the following, and only, sex advice I believe I ever received from her: “don’t do anything to tarnish the family name.” She should have been way more specific like “don’t have sex with an English sailor in a hotel elevator.” That would have been useful advice.

Andrew Fogle – Managing Editor

The worst sexual advice a close friend can give with the best intentions, that’s most certain to ruin your libido: “Do what feels natural.”

Chris – NYC Editor

The worst sex advice anyone has ever given me was my parents having me circumcised as a child, though it certainly wasn’t the last Presbyterian-inflected terrible sex advice I received from them. If they had reforeskinning services like they have revirginization services for women’s hymens, I would be first in line. Seriously. I guess technically it’s Jewish law that gave me that advice, by proxy of Protestantism, by proxy of my parents, so middle finger up to them.

Ben K. – Film Staff Writer

Freshman year of Catholic High School, our principal, Father Ceretto gives the “sex talk” to our Health & Safety class. Yes, that’s right, FATHER Ceretto. He memorably said, “Jack and Jill don’t just roll down a hill and get pregnant.”

Levi – Columnist

Worst sex advice was absolutely nothing. My parents never told me anything about dating or sex (probably think I’ll never do any of those) and my high school health class only taught me that STD pics before lunch are a horrible thing.

Hannah Everhart – Contributor

One of my friends told me that lube wasn’t necessary while having sex. For any kind of sex. Bad idea.

Jeremy Gloff – Columnist

Two nights ago I had a strange dream I went back to my very first apartment..and broke in…just so I could be there again. I woke up haunted by memories and feelings I hadn’t felt in almost 15 years.

Jean – Columnist

I’m not dreaming much in the heat of the summer – I’m mostly tossing and turning and listening to street noises that are only partially drown out by the sound of my roaring window unit. If I was dreaming, though, I’d dream that I was spending more time on the beach, eating brunch, and having great conversation over cocktails with my pals than sitting in my cube writing, editing, spreadsheeting, emailing. It’s air-conditioned there, but somehow much more soul-sucking than the opressive heat.

Levi – Columnist

I don’t even remember…I have so many nightmares and get so little sleep. Though I have had a few this summer about my childhood and about this person at school that I liked. Sleeping sucks.
How do I interpret them? The childhood stuff is probably due to the fact that I’m stuck at home. The other ones…The hell if I know…Or I do know and just don’t want to talk about it. Either one.

andrew_f – Associate Editor

I dreamed a few days ago, in the middle of an otherwise restorative weekend, that I had to watch a stranger’s psychoanalysis. The analyst told  me to pay attention to a few words, all German and some intelligible to me, that he’d written down on a notepad. How one interprets a dream about interpreting dreams isn’t clear to me. Probably it means I need to cut down on coffee.

Michael – Co-founder & Webmaster

My parents both worked full time with lengthy commutes, so they just let us cause chaos amongst each other and then punish all of us if things went awry, saying “It takes two to tango.” Instead of sexy sleep-away stories, all I have is stories involving me locking my brother out of the house and him punching his way through a glass window to gain entry… to the house as well as the ER. Good times.

Hannah Everhart – Contributor

When we were younger, my sister and I always got to go to my Oma and Opa’s house on Lake Erie. Hello swimming and Cedar Point! In middle school and high school I went to church camp and now have a lot of PG rated stories that begin with the phase: “This one time at church camp…(I got into trouble for attempting to crowdsurf during worship.)”

Jean – Columnist

Growing up, we pretty much had no rules. My single mother was a school teacher, and returned home from summer school teaching around noon each day, so for the most part, we just ran wild. For me, this meant riding my bike all over town, packing PB&Js and having little picnics down by a suburban creek, and perpetually trying to have a bonfire. For my brother, one year older than I, this meant shooting at the mailman’s truck with a BB gun, getting picked up by bored cops for “mob action” (basically two many young guys standing around looking for trouble), and experimenting with drugs. Summer means different things to everyone, I guess.

Levi – Columnist

Well, my mom stayed at home, so most of our summers were spent sitting around at home or at Grandma’s house, my sister tormenting me. But we did go to summer camps every few years, the most notable being the two summers of a week-long sleepaway Jesus camp in the mountains of PA. I hated that place…Technically, I think they still owe us a hundred or so dollars from that time a camp counselor dropped my glasses into the lake while she was in charge of holding onto them.

andrew_f – Associate Editor

My folks gave me a dinosaur fossil field guide, a shovel, and a space in the backyard, letting me figure out for myself years later that southwest Missouri was covered by and inland sea for most of the Mesozoic and that I would never find Stegosaur bones no matter how far I dug. Probably this accounts for a lot of my dating history.

‘Stine – Contributor

I was dumped via text message a little over and a half ago, and that was bothersome. It went something along the lines of “I like you but I don’t like the dating you title.” I wasn’t that attached to the dumper, but it was a nasty ego blow. Petty statements retracted. In retrospect, I should have informed her that she was a pain in my ass like two weeks into the liaison and went my own way, but I’m one part Matt Damon in The Departed and one part a little bit overly curious to see where things could go so I get ended more than I end. Although, with the one text message exception, the endings have always been caring and respectful.

Zack Rosen – Editor-in-Chief

Someone in college once told me, after a couple weeks of pre-virginal (yet appropriately intense) naked romping that we could not actually meet up for coffee sometime because “Well, I live on North Campus and you live South.” My college was about one mile long and I was guaranteed ot see this kid about ten times a day anyway, so I didn’t see the distinction very clearly.

Andrew D – Marketing Director

I think post coitus is always the worst way to get dumped. I once dated this a$$hole vegan who was super hot but definitely one of the worst human beings i’ve ever been on more than one date with. In my head we had been ‘official’ for over a month in his we were just f*#k buddies. After amazing sex one night he told me that it wasn’t working out. I’m not sure he hoped that it would, I’m pretty sure he just wanted a f*#k buddy. Wish he would have told me that up front. A month after he dumped me I texted him to see if he still wanted to be friends and he took me to the theater thinking he was going to get laid at the end of the night. Sorry sweetums you can’t buy my love and affection you have to earn it! I felt like justice was served… I’ve never spoken to him since and I’m definitely not even remotely upset by that!

Michael – Co-founder & Webmaster

Um, hm. Never been dumped. Or have I? I think I’m usually the dumper, not the dumpee. What does that say?

t – Columnist

This may be a boring answer for you-for me it’s exciting- but I am in a long distance relationship, so any vacation time I have this summer will be spent visiting my girlfriend across the country!

Levi – Columnist

Well, I don’t really have a major vacation planned out so much as I have a bunch of mini-vacations that I’d like to go on. Towards the end of this month, I have a relative’s wedding to go to in California. First time I will be back on the West Coast in about 12 years. I also plan on hitting up Philly, New Jersey, and NYC at various parts of the summer to see friends. Hmm…I’ve never been to Rehoboth Beach before. Anyone want to take me?

Kira – Food Columnist

All my vacation time will be used for going to Weddings this summer.

Hannah Everhart – Contributor

I’ve got a close friend from college getting married on Memorial Day. I’ll get to see lots of friends from college and tour the Yuengling Brewery (went to college in central PA, so it’s the beverage of choice.) Going to family reunions on both sides of the family–including a 65th wedding anniversary! Also hopefully lots of day trips to rock climb and hike!

Topher Burns – TV Columnist

I have a few mini vacations planned, including a trip down to DC for my friends’ traditional 4th of July rooftop Crabfest and a trip home to Albuquerque for my 10 year high school reunion (still trying to figure out how I feel about that one!), but my major trip is going to be a voyage to Sweden. I have a friend (actually the girl I took to prom) who is marrying a Swede, and I’m making a little European excursion of the whole thing. Planned destinations are France, Sweden, Estonia, and Denmark. The boyfriend will be joining me in Sweden to make sure I don’t get lost in the fierce blue eyes and strong pillaging arms of a six foot blonde Viking.

Michael – Co-founder & Webmaster

My extended family always reserves a handful of camp sites at Rollins Pond in the Adirondacks in upstate New York. We get maybe 5 sites all near by and just hang out for a week, filled with canoeing (every site has lake access), card games, fishing (drowning worms as I like to call it), and best of all, napping. Sure, we leave the site occasionally to climb a high peak or buy some provisions, but in general it’s great to just be out of doors breathing in such fresh, crisp, pine-scented air and let the rest of the world go for 7 days.

Jean – Columnist

I’m still recovering financially from the three month vacation I took in 2009 to Austin, Texas, so my vacations right now are short and sweet. I was able to hit up DC and NYC last summer and I’m hoping maybe to get out there again. I have a long weekend planned in Denver to see the Avett Brothers at Red Rocks with my GF (our first on-a-plane trip together!), and hopefully at least another few camping in Southern, WI. Camping is the best part of summer! I’ll be in New Orleans for 11 days this month, buuuut I’ll be working. I’m going to do my best to drink enough hurricanes in my off hours that my memory regards it as at least partial vacation. Summer!

Maureen McCarty – Managing Editor

I am tearing myself away from TNG HQ and Google Analytics for a week in June for some R&R. My girlfriend and I are headed to the Big Easy to relax, eat some soul food, listen to jazz, and drink bourbon. Neither of us has been to New Orleans, but we’re excited for the adventure. I’ll also be taking small, weekend trips to New Jersey and North Carolina to visit family and friends. Otherwise, there’s no place I would rather be this summer than Washington. Apart from the sweltering heat, I love the District during this time of year: the festivals, the street fairs, the parks. I’m excited just thinking about it!

Andrew D – Marketing Director

Nothing is set in stone and unfortunately there aren’t any amazing overseas trips planned for the summer. There is however a nice weekend camping trip planned in June likely to Shenandoah. There is also potential for a road trip to Niagara Falls, Toronto, and Montreal if all goes as planned. Then if ticket prices decrease enough there will be a trip to San Francisco for a wedding which will be nice as it’s been a while since I’ve been there. There will also be a weekend trip up to Pennsylvania for my birthday… nothing beats family, friends, beer, rich food, and a pool! Lots of domestic travel this year, I’ll have to save my international/out of country rendezvous for next year!

Domina Vontana – Columnist

I’m thrilled to have four days off over labor day. I am planning a hiking trip with my two dogs. I’ve never done even a single portion of the Appalachian trail but I’m about to! In between over nights in the tent, I plan to stop over at any Inns or B&Bs that may be accessible from foot while on the trail. I’ve heard this is a popular plan. I’m taking suggestions if you know of any good Inns along the way. I plan to hike about 20/mls a day, most likely through the Va and WVa areas. I’ve never gone that distance before. Hell I didn’t do my first solo over night until last summer (ask me about it sometime, I’ll tell you – terrifying :))
My pack is a racing pack because I enjoy trail running. My entire starting weight, sans tent, is under five pounds. I’m training the dogs to run with me and I’ll admit when all three of us leap over a large fallen log in unison, my heart, the physical one and the figurative one, go wild with excitement.

Kira – Food Columnist

Jasmine… or Aladdin. I just want to fly around the world on a magic carpet… and have a genie friend.

andrew_f – Columnist

Franz Bieberkopf in Rainer Fassbender’s 1980 cinematization of Berlin Alexanderplatz. Shit is 16 hours long. I’d outlive the rest of you many times over.

Vanessa Crowley – Columnist

One of the many people that I would be is Inara Serra from Firefly / Serenity. Not only is she extremely sensual and intelligent but also something of a bad-ass. Then there is the respect that she commands everywhere she goes. And, on top of all that, I get to be a part of that universe. If I get a second choice – Buffy Summers, because I have a super hero complex.

Zack Rosen – Editor-in-Chief

I have always wanted to be one of those little ineffectual men that called for greatness like Harry Potter or Frodo. Its really nice to think that we actually may be special and that there’s some adventure out there waitining for us as a result.

Andrew D – Marketing Director

Tough question, there are so many fantastic characters out there worthy of living even a day in their life! I think my obvious response is Tony Stark, I mean who wouldn’t want to be Iron Man? He’s rich, good looking, and has lots of fun toys. I think Bruce Wane is almost equally appealing along those notes. Though Bruce Wane is kind of a mopey putz where as Tony Stark is sarcastic and fun. From a not so easy comic book character cop out choice and a more ‘normal person’ kind of pick maybe I’d like to be Corbin Dallas (Bruce Willis) in the Fifth Element because he saves the world and I love the ‘future’ fashion in that film! Still a sci-fi character who is pretty fantastical… for a more straight laced character choice I’d say Dr. David Huxley (Carey Grant) in Bringing Up Baby. First of all it’s Carey Grant and I’m kind of in love with him, but in the movie he plays a shy scientist who ends up with crazy Katherine Hepburn and goes on a fantastic journey. I could think of worse jobs than being a renowned paleontologist! Plus they have a pet leopard!

‘Stine – Contributor

Definitely a tough one, but Andrew’s answer gave me mine. I’m going to have to go with Indiana Jones. One, I hate snakes and Nazis. Two, constant adventuring, a great tan, Sean Connery is your dad, and can we just pretend the fourth movie didn’t happen. Please don’t bring me down. Oh and THREE – you do a Google search on Karen Allen and try to tell me you wouldn’t love to make out with her. I will call you a liar.

Michael – Co-founder & Webmaster

Sorry to get base and sex-motivated here, but otherwise I’m at a loss. I’ll say any character who is in a non-tragic, romantic relationship with any character played by Ewan McGregor. What? That’s a cop-out? Oh well.

Topher Burns – TV Columnist

Speaking of 5th Element, Ruby Rod was pretty darned incredible. If not an intergalactic androgynous radio superstar, though, I always admired Wadsworth from Clue. Proper and polite but with a quick wit and a sharp tongue, as a kid I watched that movie so many times I had all his lines memorized (and also Ms. Scarlet’s. In another life I’d like to think I was a brothel madam).

Ben K. – Film Staff Writer

There are so many characters I’d love to be it’s hard to pick one. But, I think I’d have to go with someone in a light-hearted, but great movie. I’d want to be Melanie Griffith as Tess McGill in Working Girl. She’s a great character in a great movie who fights her way to the top, knocking down the big guys on the way, and getting the man at the end. And her own office. Who could ask for anything more? Happy life, great job, passionate love, beautiful city to live in. I rode the Staten Island Ferry on my last visit in New York just to be like Tess. “Who makes it happen Tess?” “I do, I make it happen!”

Carrie – Boston Editor

This question is pretty adorable. I have fond memories of playing all kinds of board games with my family growing up, from Mouse Trap to Labyrinth to hard-fought, week-long Monopoly matches with my sister. And does anyone else remember the amazingness that was Crossfire?! It’s hard to choose a favorite, since I still play board games more often than PC or video games. Lately I’ve been nerding out with Settlers of Catan, so that’s definitely a favorite of mine.

Topher Burns – TV Columnist

There are board games, fun little distractions that help while away a quiet evening, and then there are BOARD GAMES that cause you lose friends and question your paternity. Early on I learned that there were far more intense games than Candy Land when going to my grandparents’ house. My mom’s dad, whom my brother and I call Gramps, introduced us to Monopoly when we still had to work to add the sum of the two dice we rolled to try and spring out of jail for free. By the time adding simple sums was effortless, my brother and I had sharpened Rockefeller-esque tactics for business when conducting our sometimes week-long three person games, all under the watchful capitalist eyes of Gramps. For three very rough years in elementary school, my (younger!) brother won every single game the three of us ever played, and as the oldest this was the final insult. I quit playing.
In middle school I grew into a second game that destroys personal relationships: Risk. War tribunals of my nerd friends and I would have weekend sleepover parties and nearly come to blows over games that stretched into 48-hour sessions. The games would start innocently enough, choosing colors and countries, forming loose almost informal alliances. As the hours wore on, though, your armies waxed and waned on the whims of the dice and the steadfastness or treachery of your “friends,” and the tension pulled tighter into the early hours of the morning. Players would see their forces and best-laid plans laid to waste, and sometimes would decide that they just couldn’t be friends with someone who would stand by and watch while their tenuous hold in Africa was left smoldering.
I also love playing Balderdash – kooky fun!

Kira – Food Columnist

Growing up, I got really excited about games like Mancala and Cribbage (And, yes, at sleepovers, Girl Talk tended to make an appearance.) However, I don’t know about you, but game night is a pretty big deal currently. Nothing better than a Sunday (or Tuesday, for that matter) game night with my roommates. My favorite game NOW is toss up between Catch Phrase or Apples to Apples. (Both of which I suppose are not technically played with a board, but let’s count it anyway.)

Michael – Co-founder & Webmaster

I have many fond memories of playing a variety of board games with my family. Risk, Monopoly, Parcheesi, Sorry, Dungeons and Dragons (yes, the board game version), Yahtzee, etc. Perhaps my fondest board game memories, however, weren’t with my family. Instead, they were in high school where my small group of friends would hang out at my one friend AJ’s house and play Scattergories until all hours, bake cookies and watch video taped episodes of 120 Minutes. While our peers were out experimenting with drugs, sex and alcohol, we were creating strong social and familial bonds that helped us brave the world. These moments were perhaps the first time I felt truly safe and welcome inside of any family home, including my own.

Zack Rosen – Editor-in-Chief

My family’s notoriously short attentions span disallows more than ten minutes of a scrabble game, let alone Monopoly or a cogent, respectful conversation. There are only three things that my family, en masse, can be focus on for long periods of time. The first, oddly enough, was Lisa Kudrow’s “The Comeback,” an extremely underrated HBO mockumentary about a washed up actress. The second is Balderdash. We haven’t played it in years (a niece and a nephew, plus the rareness of all of us being in one room together are to blame) but our English major leanings, acumen for fake words, and propsensity for innapropriate language made that one ideal.

Andrew D – Marketing Director

Board games have always been a blast in my family. I have a horrible memory when it comes to my childhood but I definitely remember occassions where the family would crowd around the monopoly board and spend hours trying to make the most money and put everyone else out of business! I have fonder memories playing scrabble as a young adult, I love me some scrabble. My favorite games as a child that I’d play with my sister were Sorry, Connect 4, and Mall Madness (it was my sister’s game but so much fun to pretend you could go shopping and when you slid the credit card it would say ‘Ch-Ching! Can’t be beat!). Guess Who? was always a good one, as well, and we had a copy of the Saved By The Bell board game where you were required to go on a date with both Zack and Slater to win, I still have that game and it’s still ridiculous and fun to play so dated!

Katie Omberg – Staff Cartoonist

My mom DREADED playing board games. She would say things like, “There’s a reason they’re called BORED games” and stack the deck in Candy Land so that you never had to go back to the beginning when it was about to end. I loved the typical games of Chutes and Ladders, Checkers, Cribbage, Chess, all of it was good. We also had a baby sitter who would sometimes bring over Mall Madness, and then I would die of joy.

Levi – Columnist

I was never really into board games, and I don’t have any real “warm and fuzzy” family game memories. However, learning to play “Sequence” is pretty much a requirement amongst the group of people that I regularly hang out with at college (the observant Jewish kids)…So games marathon games, always peppered with “Motherfucker!”, “Suck my dick”, and various insults in Hebrew.

Rohan – Music Editor

I don’t play board games that much anymore. I’m more of a video game player. Other than that, I always lose at Sorry. (I’ve never won. Ever. Trust me.) There was this time of intense drinking in NYC. (Go figure, most of my stories involve intense drinking) After eating all-you-can eat sushi (best idea ever) a few friend’s and I played this amazing board game, Nightmare. Don’t know Nightmare? Well, it is a game that involves a fucking VHS tape that counts down while you play. It was the greatest thing ever, seriously. I found a copy of Nightmare at Goodwill, but when I moved from my dad’s place to my home, I ditched it and my VHS player (I’m not that hipster. I also do not own a tape deck, shocking!) so I might never get to play the game again. Alas, that day will forever be memorable.

Andrew F – Associate Editor & columnist

In the misspent days of my youth, my favorite thing to do with a group of guys into the small hours of morning was a brutally long, socially costly game of Risk. Some of my fondest memories of summers spent home from college involve Wagner recordings, pincer movements in Asia, and 19th century military uniforms paid for with shitty TA wages. After every round we’d craft a brief, plausible historical narrative to explain the dice rolls – the Yellow Empire stoking anti-colonial sentiment to boot the Grey Army from North Africa, for instance, or a spontaneous proletarian revolution in the Eastern United States swelling the ranks the Red Front’s glorious war of worker’s liberation. Thank god most of my friends ended up in humanities grad programs. If they’d gone into defense studies, we’d all have been drafted into some monochromatic Imperial Guard by now, bayoneting insurgents in Irkutsk.

Ben K. – Film Staff Writer

Clue! I loved playing a little sleuth and was OBSESSED with the movie. Classic board game, classic movie, and still a hell of a lot of fun. I still of dream of sauntering around as Ms. Scarlet. In the Conservatory. With the Candlestick (sexiest weapon ever).

Andrew F –Associate Editor

To avoid the pitfalls of hipster whiter-than-thou cultural tourism, I think I’d want to go undercover with DC’s Logan-Dupont power-gay elite, as long as I didn’t have to date any of them. The etiquette, language, sexuality, and income of the set that runs the world from townhouses south of Florida Avenue has always interested me in complicated ways – for the same reasons, and to the same ends, that I like reading about the French aristocracy in the 1780′s. Moribund imperial decadence makes for good literature, and even better politics.

Topher Burns – TV Columnist

I’d absolutely love to be part of the seedy side of Chinatown. Walking around down there at night you get the sense that there’s this whole world going on behind closed doors that exists completely off the grid – no websites, no rule of law, not even any alphabet! I picture myself knowing the best places to get rare and illegal delicacies to eat, playing Mahjong in smoke-filled back rooms, and being an expert haggler over my daily groceries.

Carrie – Boston Editor

Ever since my dad showed me Endless Summer as I child I’ve been fixated with surfing. (I was probably the only girl in Ohio with a subscription to Surfer Magazine for much of the late 90s.) Though I live much closer to the ocean now, I rarely have time to enjoy the beach. I’d like to spend a week hanging with surfers who are living out my childhood dream of spending every day in search of the perfect wave.

Zack Rosen – Editor-in-Chief

Burner… that is, someone who regularly goes to burning man (and of course, spends the rest of the year talking about it.) There’s a conflagration of desert, drugs and community that seems to go on there that sounds intriguing, if not a recipe for heat stroke. It fits into my love of the West Coast, bizarre people and… flaming dudes?

Michael – Co-founder & Webmaster

After watching several seasons of the British version of Skins, I definitely felt some regret/nostalgia for a youth filled with crazy dance parties, ecstasy and making out with friends and strangers. I somehow missed the US rave scene in the early 1990s (and obviously the British rave scene in the late 1980s), and watching Skins makes it seem very appealing. I don’t know if I’d embrace the parachute pants and glow sticks, but I could stand to get pierced and dyed and dosed for a week to see what I missed out on.

Domina Vontana – Columnist

What DO sorority girls do? How far are they really willing to go to be accepted? What strange sexual perverse initiation rights do they keep secret for life? Are they as slutty as they seem? Can they really drink their frat buddies under the table? As someone who has proudly NEVER attended a kegger and would rather cut off her big toe then pledge, I’d like to find out…

Jean – Columnist

I still can’t help but wish to be an athlete. I’m active, I run, do yoga, all that – but I’ve never had that whole team thing that high school and college athletes enjoy. I was popular enough, but in a different way than athletes are. I want my sport to come first, to be good at it and to have that sport in common with my friends. I also want to be fit and wear a uniform and go to parties and events that are just for the team. These days I get to experience a little of that glory by dating a person who was a high school athlete – but its not quite the same.

Kira – Food Columnist

Definitely to be apart of the hippie subculture, circa 1960′s, preferably in San Fran–with a cross country road trip to Woodstock in ’69, of course. I would even go as far to say, to join Ken Kesey’s Acid Test with the Merry Pranksters in the psychedelic 60′s subculture. (Read Tom Wolfe’s Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test) Unfortunately, my yuppie upbringing is not very conducive to either of these lifestyles, as much as I wish it were…

Hannah Everhart – Contributor

I’ve always wondered what it would be like to go to a big university. My college was 1400 students in a small town. I can’t believe what it would be like to not know the deans, and be on a first name basis with all your profs. And my largest class was 60 people, smallest class was 3 people. Whenever I talk to people who went to big schools they tend to talk about identifying with a sports team, Greek life, or a specific department.

Andrew D – Marketing Director

I’d probably be Amish for a week or a rancher or farmer in the middle of nowhere. I think there is something amazing about the ability to live that simple of a life and living off the land. I would probably go insane by the end of the week and need access to a computer immediately but the idea of being disconnected and unplugged for a week sounds amazing. Think of all the skills we as humans have lost because we are reliant on technology and the ability to get services with ease. You could learn so much in just a week having to do things for yourself or go hungry or die. Though in reality I REALLY like being connected to the greater web of technology, I love modern comforts, and I love living in the city!

Rohan – Music Editor

As someone who has been in many scenes there is only one i would love to try. Three words: Norwegian Death Metal.

Michael – Co-founder & Webmaster

When I was perhaps 8 years old, my grandmother was staying with us for a month spanning April 1. I decided I needed to get back at him for being such a bully, and my grandma suggested I sew the legs of his PJs closed. It only took a few minutes before he figured out what was going on, but it was pretty awesome while it lasted.

Carrie – Boston Editor

When I was in 5th grade, I heard about what seemed like The Greatest Prank Ever to my eleven year old self. It involved unscrewing the shower head and filling it with powdered Kool-Aid mix so that when the “prankee” went to take a shower, he or she would get their hair full of red sugary mess. Needless to say, my dad didn’t find it funny when he was getting ready for work on April 1. Worse yet, I completely underestimated Kool-Aid’s ability to remain in shower heads so I too became victim of my own joke for the next few days.

t – Columnist

In college, my friend and I wrapped our roommate’s mattress in bubblewrap. Coincidentally, that night he brought a girl a home. 10 minutes after closing his door we heard a barrage of little pops. He yelled out “what the hell?!” and yanked his door open but he had this big grin on his face. It killed the mood but was totally worth it.

Topher Burns – TV Columnist

I had the same teacher and same core group of classmates from 3rd grade through 5th grade, and as such we were a pretty tight little clan. I can’t recall how this specific prank started, but every Friday after afternoon recess we had a hallowed tradition (aptly referred to in awed whispers as “The Tradition”) in which we would hide from our teacher, and when he came back from recess duty we’d jump out at him. God bless that man, because for three years we hid in the same obvious spots in that 25′x25′ portable, jumping out and shouting “TRADITION!” like we’d just done the most clever thing in the world (or perhaps were tenaciously plugging for Fiddler on the Roof?), and he laughed and exclaimed every time.

Jean – Columnist

I dont think I’ve ever actually done an April Fools day prank, however once when i was 10 or 11 my brother suggested I call a free joke line for some April Fools jokes. The number was something like “180099QUICK” – so I went to the phone to discover I’d been pranked. There was no Q on the dial pad.

Zack Rosen – Editor-in-Chief

I’m not much of a prankster, though I am very easy to prank because my innate midwestern gullibility. When I was in highschool my favorite classic rock station – the 60s and 70s kind, not the generally rightwing 70s and 80s kind – started playing backstreet boys and announced they had switched their formula to top 40. The idea of not having an outlet for my ELO/Gordon Lightfoot/Crispin St. Peters interests was very upsetting… until I realized they had punked me. Thanks for the heart attack, 97.1 FM The Drive. Someday I’ll forgive you.

Hannah Everhart – Contributor

When I was in high school on a church mission trip we had “tacky tourist day”. Basically we went on a Goodwill run and found the most mis-matched, bright, hideous clothing we could and went to tacky tourist spots–the looks on people’s faces seeing a group of twenty high schoolers and two youth directors dressed up to the nine’s in tacky was priceless!

Troy Chatterton – Contributor

The recent escape of the Egyptian cobra at the Bronx Zoo this week reminded me of a cruel prank I did when I was around 13 years old. It happened at the Cincinnati zoo. I bought a rubber snake at the zoo’s gift shop, and while inside the Reptile House, placed the snake on the floor and yelled SNAKE!!! I can still hear that family screaming, and running (with stroller) for their lives. For those that have not heard about the cobra’s escape – its worth a read. http://www.npr.org/blogs/thetwo-way/2011/03/28/134921355/psst-heard-about-the-missing-cobra-at-the-bronx-zoo

Hans – Columnist

After I took the AP Psych exam my senior year of high school, we had a week with nothing to do and the teacher pretty much let us roam free. It was one of those “do whatever you want, but don’t bring my name into it if you get caught” deals. There was a line of freshman lockers smothered in stickers right outside of the room, so a few of my friends and I spent about half an hour carefully removing every one of them and replacing them in the exact same spot – one locker to the left. Some of those kids were 15 minutes late to their next class, no joke.

Kira – Food Columnist

When I was in kindergarten, my teacher switched the food in all the students’ lunchboxes. I remember being very upset because I found yogurt and tomatoes in my lunch box–two things which I loathed as a child.

Levi – Columnist

I guess this technically counts as something done TO me, though it wasn’t to my specifically. One of the senior pranks done while I was in high school (my class didn’t do it, we weren’t clever enough) was the rigging the school video announcements so that one day there was a surprise porn clip played at the end. The whole school went nuts (no pun intended).

A.M. Bowen – Columnist

I start with a nervous giggle. Then I probably say, “Well, my name’s Andy, and my life is complicated,” followed by whatever wacky story or recollection I have to share that week. This week: I’m not huge into hardcore music, but I’ve been going to a TON of crazy hardcore shows lately (by which I mean two shows). Turns out I love brutal music. And what’s your name?

Topher Burns – TV Columnist

I work in PR, which is an industry obsessed with the concept of an “elevator pitch.” Mine’s pretty cut-and-dried, I usually just lead with a few sentences about what I do, how long I’ve lived in NY, and that I’m originally from Albuquerque, NM. The New Mexico shout-out is usually at the end of it because people usually say, “Wow, I’ve never met anyone from New Mexico before!” Of course depending on who you’re talking to you might want to switch things up (talk about blogging instead of day job, or whatever). It’s all pretty straight forward, but it’s the type of stuff people like to hear when they meet you. If they’d prefer to hear about my minor nude modeling career in college, then they can ask and we’ll talk about that instead.

Katie Omberg – Staff Cartoonist

“Yeah, I’ve been living in DC for about three years now. I’m originally from here, though I went away for college. Yes, I know, the DC-native is a rare breed. I work for a national bicycle advocacy organization, and I draw comics!” People are always shocked that anyone is actually from around here, and even more shocked when I am still here.

Vanessa Crowley – Columnist

I live authentically. I love passionately. I believe that we as a species can be better than we are. Anything else may describe me, but does not define me.

Michael – Co-founder & Webmaster

Originally from upstate New York, I grew up in Delaware and did my undergrad in DC where I stayed and worked in IT until going to grad school at UC Berkeley for City Planning and Transportation Engineering when I was 30. After grad school, I spent 3 months in Buenos Aires studying Spanish, as a graduation present to myself, after which I moved back to DC and began my career in transportation planning. Right now, I have an awesome boyfriend, a great job, an adorable and loving puppy dog and a palatial apartment that I bought back in 1999. I’ve been vegetarian for nearly 20 years and strive to help people live in authentic and meaningful ways.

Hannah Everhart – Contributor

I graduated from Juniata College–a small school in the middle of central PA with a degree in Behavioral Communications. I’ve lived in Northern Virginia for about 12 years and came home to the DC/Metro area after graduating to intern and job-search. I’m still jobsearch-ing in the non-profit sector and keep busy temping and volunteering.

Jean – Columnist

My personal “bio” doesnt even really include any real information about myself, like where i work, where i went to school, etc. I tend to use something like this: “From Chicago to DC back to Chicago again (via a short and hilarious stint in Austin, TX), I’m a non fiction writer, blogger and nonprofiteer with an interest in issues of equality. I dig humor, writing, humor writing and cats. I also spend a lot of time thinking, reading and writing about technology, history, dinosaurs and Darwin.”

Troy Chatterton – Contributor

I’m from a small town in Ohio – Eldorado, less than 500 people. Went to Oral Roberts University and against all odds had an amazing four years. But I owe everything to Bill Blass – he saved my life! I moved to New York City thinking I’d become a fashion designer but instead, I learned how to really live, and found home.

Ben Carver – Staff Writer, Co-founder

Identity is a tricky thing. Here’s my entire story: All is One: Wrong. All is Nothing: Wrong. Just be Yourself: Wrong. Follow Your Heart: Wrong. All is illusion: Wrong. All is Love: Wrong. Be Here Now: Wrong. I am God: Wrong. Zen is Zen: Wrong. I am nobody: Wrong. Bliss, Being, Consciousness: Wrong. I am That: Wrong. All is Mind: Wrong. All is Emptiness: Wrong. All is Buddha: Wrong. All are Enlightened: Wrong. Tick Tack Toe: Wrong. Then Finally…. I Don’t Know: RIGHT

Levi – Columnist

I can’t tell if I’m a trick that was played on the world or if the world is a dirty trick that was played on me. Somehow I manage serious and overanalytical, absurd, romantic, and morose. My mind is full of realism and grand delusions, which one can often find in attempted written word translations. I am also rather good at identifying dog breeds.

Zack Rosen – Editor-in-Chief

I sometimes think people ask questions like that as an excuse for you to ask them that question back so they can brag. I actually hate being asked such open ended questions, so in normal circumstances I would answer like this: Oh, hmm… I’m from chicago, moved to DC in 2006. Live in Adams Morgan with my boyfriend and my dog. I watch a lot of TV. you?

‘Stine – Contributor

Uhm, this is the sort of question, much like “so what do you do,” that, probably unfairly, makes me socially shut down. It usually goes like this: “Hi I’m ‘Stine. No, not Steve. It’s like Christine without the Christ. Yeah, ‘Stine and occasionally Schtein. I’ve been in D.C. for a bit I guess. I live up in Petworth now with three dudes and two large dogs.” Then we talk about dogs, dog parks, and cat people. I’m the picture of social grace I suppose.

Carrie – Boston Editor

The worst job I ever had was actually my first. Working in an ice cream shop sounded like a great summer job after eighth grade, but I soon realized that the store’s staff was completely dysfunctional because the owner had just inherited the business and didn’t know his ass from his ankles about management. Lack of responsible or experienced alternatives led me to become the de facto manager by my third day of work, even though I barely knew how to make a sundae and commanded a salary of $5.25 an hour. A week later I quit after deciding than another summer of babysitting for neighbors was better than all the ice cream in the world. It was certainly more desirable that having to deal with co-workers who would only “work late” to have sex on the soft serve machine. (True story.) This job, among so many other things, is why I really wish I could go back in time and tell my 15-year-old self, “It gets better.”

Topher Burns – TV Columnist

I qualified for work study in college, and the summer before my freshman year I applied for a job working at the library. I figured it’d be a great way to spend some extra time studying and getting homework done. What I didn’t anticipate was that 8:30 a.m., which for a high school student is a perfectly reasonable time of day (considering I was used to getting to school at 6:30 a.m.) is unthinkably early for a college student. Three times a week for the better part of a year I dragged myself from bed around 8:25am and hobbled half-dressed to the dungeons of the campus library to spend three interminable and mind-numbing hours in oppressive silence desperately pacing between the stacks to keep myself awake. Fortunately for everyone involved in this devil’s bargain, I was eventually fired for unreliability. It felt crappy at the time to be given the heave-ho, but looking back the library industry probably wasn’t right for me anyway.

Hannah Everhart – Contributor

I worked at a drop-off day care at a ladies gym when I was in high school. My only job was to keep let them from killing each other, but putting several spoiled kids in a room with a limited amount of toys almost always lead to fighting. Sometimes the kids would be obviously tired and/or hungry, but their mom still wanted to fit in her workout before going home. I spent most of the time watching the Goofy movie over and over since it seemed to quite everyone down. I actually memorized the entire script at one point!

Michael – Co-founder & Webmaster

My worst summer job was a college co-op job for the US Navy. I worked in a bleak, rotting office building in the outskirts of Alexandria, VA. The only vegetarian food in the cafeteria were egg salad sandwiches which I’m sure were made once per month and kept in a tepid closet. The median age of my colleagues was likely 55, and everyone was riding that slow, useless horse to retirement. I saw the scariest looking people in that building, and it was this place that cemented in my mind a theory correlating a lack of physical attractiveness with complacency. Oh just thinking about it gives me the willies!

Vanessa Crowley – Columnist

How to chose?! I think it has to be a toss up. For one of my first jobs after I graduated from high school I installed sprinkler systems in rich people’s yards — which is to say that my boss installed them, I just dug the holes. For about 50 hours a week it was just me, my shovel, and the blazing hot sun. To make matters even better, a lot of the bourgeois $@%*#!+ would take a break from their busy lives to berate me. I was just the manual labor after all. At one point I started to get a scosh delirious and began to have extended conversations with a beagle puppy that lived next door to one of the sites. I called him Manuel. We spoke in accents.

Zack Rosen – Editor-in-Chief

Data entry. Good god, data entry. It was a summer job of mine in college and it is almost Lovecraft-ian in its ability to tear at the fabric of your soul until the embrace of Cthulu sounds like sweet release. I would go to bed at night dreaming of columns and keyboards. I think that’s the summer I officially became a stoner and, in retrospect, it makes sense as a coping mechanism.

Jean – Columnist

I actually liked all of my weird part time jobs — yo-yo shop, girlscout camp counselor, bussing tables at a banquet hall, scooping ice cream, working in coffee shops. The one job that sucked my soul was a full time adult job. I had a salary, benefits, went to meetings, wore dress pants, and every single day I wanted to rip my face off. I guess 9-5 really isnt for me. :)

Levi – Columnist

I worked in a movie theater when I was in high school. I got to sit in a tiny box made of plaster and plexiglass for 8 hours and the sun would set directly in our eyes. It was not uncommon for me to have to explain the plot and name the main actors of every damn movie we were playing— and sometimes even the ones at the other theater in town as well. If I wasn’t in the box office, I was an usher. Trust me, “usher” is not as noble as it sounds.We had to run around the theater cleaning up after everyone. Movie theater customers can be really disgusting. And they often believe (and sometimes would tell us) that they’re doing us a favour by dumping all their popcorn on the ground. We were also the ones who had to deal with the restrooms.Ugh, there is no truth to the idea the women’s room is cleaner than the men’s. My boss was a moron who seemed to think it was absolutely hilarious to make fun of my OCD and try to aggravate it. He was also a gay Republican. That’s okay with me if you can actually tell me WHY, but his reasons for being a Republican were “I don’t know … because my parents are.”

‘Stine – Contributor

The worst job I ever had was working as a junior accountant for a psychotic feudal lord who ruled his small and remarkably prosperous (short-term) fiefdom with a passive aggressive fury only dwarfed by the passionate rage of his soon to be ex-wife (and partner in the firm!), who was outright “I would like to claw your eyes out” aggressive. I was often called upon to tutor their teenage daughter, who attended a very expensive prep-school with the progeny of other terrible people, in math and composition while listening to her complain about the color of her new Escalade. I actually liked doing payroll, incorporating companies, and completing personal and corporate taxes. I hated all the administrative assistant duties. But mostly I hated the bi-polar day-to-day atmosphere in the office. Some days I was office beloved, but I was just as easily the scapegoat for whatever major fuck-up the boss or his wife had committed. It didn’t help that I had a 1.5 hour commute to work, each way. But it kept this kid off the drugs, so that was good. As a result, I’d rather ski through hell than take another job at a small family firm.

Domina Vontana – Columnist

My mother started lending me out to her friends for childcare when I was 12. She pocketed all of my money herself. At 14 I started caring for a severely physically handicap young boy and his baby sister who suffered from extreme night terrors. I kept those checks. I paid my way through private high school working at McDonalds and later at a nursing home as a certified nursing aid — a glorified adult baby diaper changer. Later I worked as a nanny to pay for college, living in the basement of the homes of some of the most cliche, dysfunctional, horrible families you’d ever like to know. They taught me everything about who I don’t want to be. Then I became a shooter girl at a night club and started giving shit instead of taking it or cleaning it up. That’s when my life started to improve.

Katie Omberg – Staff Cartoonist

I worked as a museum security guard. You can’t have an actual conversation with anyone, you stand around all day bored and tell people where the bathroom is. The way I got through it was Sudoku and crossword puzzles, crumpled up and hidden whenever the supervisors walked by. Did I mention you can’t sit down?!

Jean – Columnist

For me, I basically relocated back in Chicago after 4 years in WI and 4 years in DC because of my family. I’m not really a “family” type of person, but my relationship with my sister and her kids is super important to me. Its really hard for me to not answer “food” as my number two, but the close call is actually surpassed by Chicago’s Lakefront path in the summer. Nothing makes me happier than biking, running or beach-going along side lake Michigan. I don’t even want to move a few blocks west–I want to be as close to the lake as possible!

Michele – Staff Writer

I don’t love Boston. NYC was my home, it felt like it contained limitless possibility. It felt like I could truly be myself, like I never needed to compromise. Boston feels limiting. Constricting. As if someone is constantly holding me just under the surface so i can’t fully get a breathe of air.

Michael – Co-founder & Webmaster

Ha! I actually wrote a post on this very topic but 2 years (or more) ago for this very site. But since this question is only limited to two reasons, I’ll say I love DC because it’s a city of unique neighborhood, and because there is so much green around. For full details and the other reasons I love this town, read the post: Check it out here.

Domina Vontana – Columnist

I love DC. She is my Mistress. She taught me everything I know. She broke me and brought me back. I’ve been homeless on these streets and chauffered around in private sedans on these streets.i worship at her temples (ie every congressional building) and she is always clean. Diplomatic cities have to maintain certain standards and I reveal in that aesthetic.But the two things I love most are 1. how fucking smart all these douchbags really are…got brains make me hot and 2. she’s conservative. no really I mean it, NYC keep your flamers and LA keep your flair. I want DC in all her uptight power hungry suit coat sporting conflicted ways…I love a city that believes in maintaining appearances. It’s not everything, but it fucking matters and seems like we forgot that somewhere around 1982. oh…and just so I don’t appear to be totally brainwashed one more # 3- the passion!!! I mean really, people come to this city to fight for what they believe in, whether they wear ties or bandannas around their necks.Yeah I know…I have the values of a 50 something. That’s why all my friends are old enough to be my mother (technically) and I just get cross eyed talking to anyone near my own age.

Bryan Garcia – Contributor

Kinda funny you should ask this now as I reflect on whether the last 4 1/2 years of living in San Francisco has been worth it. I do love this city because it’s beautiful– the ocean on one side, an urban center on the bay on the other, rolling hills and unique neighborhoods with characters all their own. There’s also no shortage of things to do here, particularly for the alt-queer. San Francisco is sort of a haven for the off-beat. But I have considered leaving, either finding a nice rustic small town to settle down in or moving back to the South. It doesn’t help that the cost of living is so high– I’m almost 40, and I can barely afford to rent a studio apartment…

Levi – Columnist

I don’t really feel like I have a city. I mean, I currently reside daily in Baltimore-Towson limbo, but I connect that more with school than anything else. Though don’t get me wrong, the city of Baltimore is wonderful and horrifying because it is crazy as all fuck…Always has been, always will be. And there’s the fact that John Waters is here…That probably says a lot. Then there’s Anne Arundel County, MD, where my family lives and where I’m registered to vote. I hated growing up there (it nearly killed me numerous times), but at least I know where and what everything is. There are no surprises…Which is calming at times. My dog and hamster are there. Lastly there is DC, which I started considering my second home during the summer that I graduated high school. I have friends there who are supportive and loving, I understand the layout and the goings-on, and I feel pretty relaxed and accepted overall. Unfortunately, I don’t get to go there nearly as much as I would like, but maybe I will live there after I graduate.

Topher Burns – TV Columnist

Glad I get to be the first to crow from the rooftops about living in FABULOUS NEW YORK CITY! I lived in DC for six years, and when I first arrived there it felt gigantic, important, and full of impossibly rude people (growing up in Albuquerque will do that to you). DC was definitely where I fully learned how to live in a major city and love it, but after a while I was ready for the next big thing. A friend and I packed our stuff, jumped on a Chinatown bus, and landed in lower Manhattan without jobs or an apartment. That was three and half years ago, and though it hasn’t always been easy (or even dignified) I don’t regret a single breath I’ve taken of this wonderful city’s fetid air, and find it hard to think of living anywhere else. My two favorite things about NYC are as follows: 1) The pace – tourists complain that New Yorkers always seem like they’re in a hurry, but wouldn’t you be if you had so many amazing new things to do? Keep ‘em coming, you monstrous hamster wheel! 2) The people – maybe it’s a bunker mentality, but my impression of New Yorkers is that they’re the nicest people in the world. It’s tough out there, and New Yorkers have been through it all, so they’re always happy to help. Plus everyone’s up to something, so people are just so damn interesting.

Jeremy Gloff – Columnist

I’m not sure I love Tampa, but I stay here for the following reasons: I have severe excema and living in cold climates is murder on my skin. Living in a tropic climate has allowed me to be much less crusty and scaly. Also, in my 20s I moved around tons and eventually every place ended up the same. Good people, bad people. Great places to eat, shitty places to eat. Good times and bad times. In the 12 years I’ve lived in Tampa it’s always been okay to be very out, very eccentric, and very creative. So for better or worse, I’m settled and I don’t move.

A.M. Bowen – Columnist

DC has this rep of being an unfeeling place, full of cold people. My Baltimore friends hate DC, thinking it stuck up. It probably is stuck up. It controls the world. Or at least thinks it does, and has a say over a disturbing amount.But in all seriousness: it’s a city that’s been home to incredible activists (Frederick Douglass, Frank Kameny, Earline Budd, Jessica Xavier, and Sadie-Ryanne Vashti to name just a few), its own version of funk, and a purposeful and socially-conscious punk scene. It’s illegal to discriminate on the basis of gender identity and expression and sexual orientation. We have same-sex marriage and government-blessed needle exchange. If it weren’t for our federal overlords, DC would probably be more progressive than it already is (which is super-progressive). You’re my Miss Washington, DC.

Vanessa Crowley – Columnist

The biggest thing that keeps me in DC are most certainly my lovely and terrifically snarky partner. My mistress (which in this case is my Master’s thesis) takes a close second. For good measure I am also going to say the Greek Deli on 19th.

Carrie – Boston Editor

I relocated to Boston from DC just over a year ago. The city is growing on me despite the freezing winter and the fact that the sports fans scare the hell out of me. I stay in the city for the same reason I moved to it in the first place, my girlfriend. While she works her ass off in grad school, I get to enjoy jogs next to the Charles River and a plethora queer friendly events around the city!

Zack Rosen – Editor-in-Chief

I think DC allows me a certain ability to slip under the radar. Not personally, but as a member of the community I live in. In the eyes of the world DC is simply the seat of government. So while people move to San Francisco for the weed or the vibe, or New York because it’s New York, or Austin because it’s weird (and I know those are all simplifications) the part of DC I live in doesn’t really have a characterization, which I enjoy.

Zack Rosen – Editor-in-Chief

If my answer is “twinks” are people going to yell at me? Ok, just kidding. The real one has to do with a gross pan-Asian take out place down the street from me. Its kind of my “Sabor de Soledad.”

‘Stine – Contributor

I think I’ve read entirely too much Oscar Wilde to feel guilty for any of my pleasures. And this suddenly makes me a tad sad because as anyone who has slept with someone who went to Catholic/parochial school likely can tell you: guilt can be amazing.

Carrie – Boston Editor

My current guilty pleasure is cooking greasy breakfast foods for dinner. (Though truthfully, this is only a guilty pleasure because of all the gay lady vegans I know who would be offended by the amount of bacon I can ingest in one sitting.) I also recently spent an entire weekend watching every episode of Ice Road Truckers and my girlfriend just introduced me to The Millionaire Matchmaker. So basically, I’m not leaving my apartment until June.

Jean – Columnist

This prompt got me thinking about guilty pleasures and that’s actually?what i wrote my column about this week! What makes a pleasure guilty? Why do you feel bad about it? for me, guilt inspired pleasure really comes from eating, not TV! Mostly Mexican food, possibly pizza,DEFINITELY cheese and crackers. I can eat a whole brick of cheese and its soooo delicious but i usually feel like my heart is gonna stop. So, guilty and artery clogging pleasure.

Jeremy Gloff – Columnist

Right now my guilty pleasure is watching Friends. I never watched it in the 1990s but out of boredom I recently bought the complete series on DVD. I used to think I was Phoebe but now after watching much closer I’m definitely Monica.

Michael – Co-founder & Webmaster

When I was a kid, my older brothers and I used to always argue over the TV. Yes, we only had one, and yes, the brothers were stereotypical guys who wanted to watch sports 24/7. It got to the point where I would reserve programs on the TV guide just to spite them, to watch them squirm while giving myself a little TV time. One show I started to “call” was Doctor Who. The one with the guy with the multi-colored, super long scarf. Despite the constant teasing I got from my siblings as I pretended to savor all the sci-fi tidbits of the program, I actually got really into it. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter I lost my paper route gig and no longer had reason to wake up early on Sunday mornings, and my monster grip on the favored TV time slots was released. I still miss it a lot, though, and just started watching the 2005 Doctor Who series. Pretty good so far!

Topher Burns – TV Columnist

These days every Hollywood skank tries to convince you she was “a total nerd in high school”, so it’s sort of hard to take true pleasure in publicly claiming one’s nerd-dom (as observed by Patton Oswalt in his recent article declaring the concept to be basically dead). Some of my childhood geeky pleasures are now fully acceptable: I love dinosaurs, nature programming on PBS, and comic books. One thing that will probably never, ever be okay to tell people publicly, though, is that I was way, WAY into Magic: The Gathering. I even had a collection of campy fan-fiction-esque novels based on the MTG universe. I re-read one of those novels less than a month ago. Though I’m hopelessly far behind in terms of current gaming trends, I can still hold my own in a collectible card game (CCG) Convo, and take more pleasure in it than even a self-respecting adult nerd should.

Troy Chatterton – Contributor

I have varied taste in tv. I rarely miss Charlie Rose. Love Mad Men and Modern Family – but nothing, and I mean nothing brings me more joy or cracks me up more than watching Kathie Lee & Hoda on the Today Show. And just when you think it can’t get any crazier or zanier, SNL does a spoof which captures how loony tunes Kathie Lee truly is. Then to watch Kathie and Hoda talk about the SNL spoof takes it to whole new level. I’ve never had to cover up this guilty pleasure, I just don’t advertise it (watch here) – until now. A clue sits in my kitchen cupboard – I own the Kathie Lee & Hoda mug. I can’t believe I’ve put this out there!

Andrew D – Marketing Director

It’s always hard to say what I consider guilty pleasures… I generally don’t have any that I go to any length to hide. If I enjoy something why should I be embarassed about it? If I had to reveal a few things most people might be surprised to know that I enjoy, they would be: Jersey Shores, Kathy Lee & Hoda, and Glee. Like I said, I’m not really embarrassed about taking part in these cultural gems. Glee I have a love hate relationship with though I continue to watch it religiously. Jersey Shores is pure trash and i’m totally aware of this but it makes me laugh beyond belief so I will continue to watch it until it becomes unwatchable. And as for KL & H, I have a real soft spot for drunk old bags on talk shows… what can I say. It’s the same reason I love Ab Fab and Karen from Will & Grace! Maybe it’s a window into my future!

Clarence – Contributor

Hmm, guilty pleasures. Lemme see, aside from the obscure fetish video every now and again–which I don’t really consider a guilty pleasure, no matter what the psychologist say; just a case of aroused curiosity getting the better of me–I would have to say my guilty pleasure lay in entertainment. While I wear my love of video games and comic books as a badge of honor, I am a bit embarrassed by the fact that I really can enjoy listening to really crappy music, along the lines of K$sha (sp?), Lady Gaga, and Will.i.am rapping. I feel so dirty afterwards that I just want to get in the shower and wash out my ears with soap and get the filth off. But, just like the crack fiend that lives outside my apartment, I keep going back for more.

Ben Carver – Staff Writer, Co-founder

I feel no guilt about anything that pleases me.

Student Driver –Guest Columnist

John Cougar Mellencamp. I don’t hide it anymore. When I was a teenager, some 4 score and 20 years back, I also happened to be a goth industrial club kid…. Einstuerzende Nuebauten and Throbbing Gristle… Cabaret Voltaire…. the cure was as mainstream as I was allowed to admit for fear of losing my goth cred. When no one was around though… nothing made my black heart come alive like Little Pink Houses. To this day my love for him has endured… more than my love for any of the rest of it. JCM is the man.

Zack Rosen – Editor-in-Chief

I’ll go ultra-queer on this, but I would say Tiresias. He’s a mythical greek prophet who, as the story goes, saw two snakes doing it and when he hit them with his staff he was turned into a woman. Later in his life he saw them again and changed back into a man. He was called upon to settle a bet between Zeus and Hera about whether men or women drew more pleasure from sex. His answer was, to paraphrase, that Women did “ten percent of the work and recieved 90% of the pleasure,” or something like that. Hera struck him blind instantly for this answer and Zeus gave him foresite as a consolation. It goes to show that Gender has been a tricky subject for all of history, and that you shouldn’t answer honestly when the gods ask you about their sex lives.

Michael – Co-founder & Webmaster

I’m not much of a history buff, so I’m going to be lame and say that I’d be myself 20 years ago. I’d come out in high school, choose a college based on criteria more heady than its proximity to the 930 club, study abroad and have amazing European romances. And I’d do all these things without compromising my sense of self or bowing to others wishes for how I live my life. I was going to write a post on regret, but I guess I just did, huh? Or more realistically, I’d simply wish to be myself, right now, in 2011, with an awesome partner, fulfilling job, great friends and cool social projects.

Jeremy Gloff – Columnist

I’d be me now, exactly where I am!

A.M. Bowen – Columnist

I want to a member of the extended Talking Heads circa 1979. I contend that 1979 was the first year of the 21st century: it gave the world splashy introductions of neoliberalism (Maggie Thatcher became British PM), politicized Islam and related terrorism (Ayatollah Khomeini, takeover of the Grand Mosque, mujahideen fighting Soviets in Afghanistan), hip-hop (Sugar Hill Gang released “Rapper’s Delight,” which wasn’t the first hip-hop song, but it was probably the first well-known hip-hop song), and digital media (the Compact Disc was invented). It was pretty much the most important year ever. Talking Heads, which expanded from four people to something around a dozen in 1979, released two albums in the period: 1979′s Fear of Music, and 1980′s Remain In Light. These touched upon all of this moral/technological/philosophical weirdness, sounded digital and creepy, mentioned things that we’re familiar with in our terror-touched world (with lyrics like “Everybody is worried about the air,” and the song “Listening Wind,” about a man who reverts to terrorism in the face of globalization), and basically prophesied what our lives would be like in the 21st century. And Remain In Light has a solo (toward the end of the song “Born Under Punches (The Heat Goes On)”) that sounds like a modem. Talking Heads were the future. I wish I had played keyboards for them.

A.M. Bowen – Columnist

I’m not done talking about Talking Heads. Talking Heads also got funk, hip-hop, and R&B. The expanded Heads included Bernie Worrell, who wrote and played some of those incredible keyboard parts for Parliament and Funkadelic. “Flash Light”? “Mothership Connection”? Bernie Worrell made that stuff up. He helped come up with the DNA of hip-hop, and there he was, playing with Talking Heads. Their music on Fear of Music and Remain In Light was crazy-funky, polyrhythmic, while computer-y and punky. Oh yes: I want to be in 1979, hanging out with Talking Heads.

Vanessa Crowley – Columnist

This is a tough question, mostly because there are few times or places where either my political beliefs or my identity wouldn’t get me killed. I think rather than invoke an overly nostalgic imagination of some past event, I would rather throw myself into the unknown future. It might be better, or it might even be worse but either way it would be an adventure.

t – Columnist

I would be me in America, in 25-50 years when we’ve hopefully gotten past all this political bullshit, and haven’t yet been wiped out by global warming.

Jean – Columnist

This is a question that makes me evaluate who i really am, and not who I am based on circumstances. Although I have spent much of my life pursuing the humanities, specifically writing and literature, if i could be anyone in the historical past I would be a trained scientist in the middle of the 19th century. (and preferably still a woman. :) ) I would want to be a part of the change in understanding and knowledge gained during the early days of organized paleontology and fossil exploration, Darwins newly published works on evolution – I’d like to be on digs out west seeing and understanding vertebrate fossils for the first time in history – And then maybe I would write about it. :) Oh man, I’m drooling just thinking about it.

Hannah Everhart – Contributor

I’ve been playing the “what if” game and I’d be 2005 me, going to the college I almost went to in southern Virginia and was going to pledge a sorority. I did actually have a big non-refundable deposit down on this school but ended up going to my alma mater since I fell in love with the campus the moment I stepped onto the quad. Even with all the tears and frustrations, nothing can ever replace the friends that have shaped me into who I am today. And for those who know me–the idea of me being a sorority girl is pretty laughable.

Andrew D – Marketing Director

Having just visited Versailles, I would have to say I would like to be Louis the XVI or Marie Antoinette, at least up until the whole beheading mess. They truly lived the life, of course I’m not sure I would have chosen those particular motifs for my palace but when you are spending the money of a country on your own lavish desires, the sky is the limit. Oh the life they must have lived!

Levi – Columnist

Hmm… Since there are so many things to choose from…I am going to go with something light and amusing.

I want to go back to the 1977 and the early 80′s to see the original Star Wars trilogy come out in theaters…Before George Lucas ruined it with the shitty new movies and all his edits to the originals.

Han shot first, dammit!

Domina Vontana – Columnist

I think this makes me sound like a wackadoodle even to you guys but — fuck being me — I’d go back thousands of years and serve as a sex priestess in an ancient Egyptian temple. I’ve always liked Bastet, she’s my favorite. She’s the one with the cat head. But frankly I just crave anywhere most of the time that isn’t lit up 24/7 by honking cars, beeping machines and annoying cell phones. I want to wear robes everyday, go barefoot, massage my body with oils and perfumes and escalate pleasure to an ecstatic, spiritual level.

Ben K. – Film Staff Writer

I would love to have been around turn of the century New York. The dandies, the drag balls, it all sounds like just too much fun.

Ali – Contributor

Listening to Andrea Gibson!

A.M. Bowen – Columnist

No strategy works every year. This year, The Dismemberment Plan reunion got me through January. Lord knows how February will work out. There is no escape, except time itself.

Andrew D – Marketing Director

For me, I would have to say spending nights bundled up with my significant other on the couch watching foreign films or crappy B-Movies on TV. The cold weather makes me not want to venture outside much unless absolutely necessary! Its also a great season for Bailey’s in hot cocoa!

Art – Sports Writer

Getting in shape for summer. Remembering how awful the humidity always is in July/August and what I would have given for a cooling breeze then. And, as obvious as this will be coming from me, baseball thoughts. Seriously…anyone associate baseball with cold weather?

Ben K. – Film Staff Writer

Surviving winter here in Chicago is an art form. Last year Mom & Dad got me an engraved flask and a bottle of Chivas for my birthday (which is in the dead of winter), and it makes trips out in the cold a lot warmer and a whole lot more fun. This year I bought myself a pair of ice skates and have been enjoying the city’s free skating rinks. Also, since no one likes to come here in the winter, there are great enticements like many free museum days and restaurant week. It’s the perfect time for any fan of art and culture.

Bryan Garcia – Contributor

Skipping the early morning gym work-out to sleep in. Long, hot showers. Hot whiskey punch with Jameson, fresh Meyer lemon, cloves and a cinnamon stick. It also helps that this past weekend, it hit 65 degrees– spent Sunday afternoon biking to Ocean Beach and chilling out by the water.

Carrie – Boston Editor

Finding antidotes for the winter blahs is a must in Boston. Dance-friendly live shows and events are a great way to get out and stay warm, but I’d be lying if didn’t mention that much of my winter activities revolve around my Netflix queue and Sam Adams Winter Ale.

Domina Vontana – Columnist

I like to take long, freezing walks in the cold. Always gets the blood flowing.

Hannah Everhart – Contributor

Curling up with a drink–anything from hot chocolate to Yuengling depending on my mood and watching Dexter or reading a good nerdy book always lifts my mood!

Clarence – Contributor

Winter is a bitch. And it gets really bitchy, that’s usually the moment when I break out the really warm blanket, get down to only my undies and bust out the hot coco and put on a really cheesy movie. In the remote chance that I don’t have a good movie to watch, pornography usually does the trick. In fact sometimes, I just skip the blanket, coco, and movie altogether.

Jean – Columnist

Drinking, for sure. Additionally, gearing up – new snow pants, new winter jacket, etc. Something about surviving Chicago’s cold, or complaining minimally about it, makes me feel tough. Playing with my GF and her puppy in the snow makes the weather a little better, too. And cuddling. And drinking while doing all of these things.

Jeremy Gloff – Columnist

What’s winter? Keep it real in FLA.

Katie Omberg – Staff Cartoonist

I actually love love love the winter. The “blahs” I get around this time are when it doesn’t snow! To keep busy in the dark, though, I like having dinner get togethers with friends (I wouldn’t say they’re big enough to be considered a “party”) and I play in an outdoor soccer rec league. Even though it’s really cold, it’s great to have time outside chiseled into my schedule!

Kim Sharrah – Philadelphia Editor

I sit at my desk every day and count down the days until spring arrives. I tape up pictures of the view from my beach house and dream about endless nights down the shore. I drink more and daydream, and wish I lived in California. I dread the snow, the bleak mornings that bleed into afternoons and nights, every day looks the same this time of year. I blog about how I have SAD and nothing can cure it. I start thinking about going tanning in Janurary and realize I am crazy. I at least have to wait until the end of February.

Then one day, I’ll wake up and the countdown is over. Spring has arrived and all is right in the world.

Levi – Columnist

Oh, the winter blahs pretty much envelop me…Especially since (until now) I have slept in a freezing basement. However, I find that my Netflix account and I have had a very intense relationship…Recently involving a lot of The Kids In the Hall. But since classes have just started up again for me (yay!), I have that to focus on.

Michael – Co-founder & Webmaster

I get lots of exercise and spend time outside if there’s any sun. Otherwise, I embrace them and appreciate time spent indoors with the bf, friends and the dog. Bourbon helps.

Rushell Medley – Contributor

Ahhhhhh old winter blahs!! I am a college student so its really hard for me to enjoy winter like everyone else. Not to mention I am Jamaican born so the first time i saw snow was in 2000. I went to play and my hands turned purple and my Jamaican mother ran hot water on them so I suffered! I really don’t like winter too much but I’m adapting to it. Hot cocoa and blasting heat normally warm me up. I enjoy the view of snow but that’s it.

Seth Anderson – Phoenix Editor

I live in Phoenix so I put on my winter coat and do everything I do the rest of the year: spend all the time I can outside. Hiking, biking, lots of civic events like the Japanese Festival, film festivals, the Greek Festival, Tour de Fat, The Tempe Festival for the Arts, etc. Sometimes I’ll take a day trip up north to look at the snow in Flagstaff or Sedona, then I get the hell out of it. Lots of hot tub parties. Tequila goes with every season. Don’t be fooled though, it does get cold in the desert. (It snowed, briefly, a few weeks ago.) Temps on New Year’s Eve dropped into the teens and that was the day my heater broke. That was fun.

‘Stine – Contributor

I take long walks in the cold and compose poems I will never remember, which I deliver slammishly to the amusement of passerbys. Then I ride home on the bus and people spectate. Alternately, I curl up with the dogs, a good book, and a large chalice of something boozy and wait for it to be April.

t – Columnist

Hot chocolate and movie night, preferably cuddled up next to a cutie.

Topher Burns – TV Columnist

I like to cook to cast off the winter chill! Nothing like the warmth and wonderful smells of a bustling kitchen to brighten a long night. I recently perfected a beef and barley stew recipe that I’m quite proud of. Eating good food is, of course, my answer to beating the doldrums of every season (and situation), but during the winter it’s especially nice not to have to bundle up and gird one’s self against the wind after filling one’s tummy with happiness.

Troy Chatterton – Contributor

This goes against all reason in the slush and freezing cold, but I hit the streets with camera in hand. Nothing cures the blues or inspires me more than seeing what New Yorker’s are wearing or doing.

Vanessa Crowley – Columnist

Winter doesn’t really bother me, especially not what passes for winter here in the District. Though I grew up in the frigid waste lands of the north where winter means six feet of snow and a high temperature in the low teens. Still, there is nothing like spending the whole day cooking when it is too cold to go outside!

Andrew D – Marketing Director

So I found this survey question particularly difficult to answer because I rarely feel guilty about watching television, even bad television. I feel if you don’t watch at least a little of the bad programming, you don’t have any place to properly comment.

This past year my biggest guilty pleasure would have to be Jersey Shores and you can be damn sure I will be watching season two taking place in South Beach. I love me some Snookie, what can I say?

I guess you could call Glee a guilty pleasure. I’m totally split on the show. There are definitely some good fun episodes and then there are times when I question why I’m watching such a stupid show.

Because the list to what I’ve subjected myself to over the years could be massive (Dawson’s Creek through the finale!), I’ll add one last one. And I still don’t think this is a guilty pleasure because it’s so bad it’s good: MTV’s Undressed. I used to watch this show late at night before going to bed and remember loving it, I recently found a website that has most of the episodes and is part of the campaign to get the show released to DVD which I am 100% behind. Love me some Undressed! How great would it be to put on at parties. Not to mention all the now stars who made guest appearances on the show during it’s six season run: Brandon Routh, Adam Brody, Jason Ritter, Marc Blucas, Chad Michael Murray, and more. Not to mention this is one of the first shows where you could see gay soft core on television without having to sift through the static on the pay channels. Definitely my number one guilty pleasure.

Notable Mentions: American Idol, Reno 911, Hoarders.

Andrew F – Columnist

The Real Adventures of Jonny Quest brought me to terms with my sexuality early in life, and on more late weeknights than I’d care to admit I’ve turned to bootlegged episodes to relive childhood memories of impossibly well-toned, computer-generated teenage abdominal muscles. Witness 6:25 – 7:09 of this clip:: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VF_GYDgh2Xs

Arthur – Sports Writer

Currently? The Bad Girls Club. And yes, I know how trashy that makes me. From the ‘scripted’ pile of TV, I would probably say Dark Angel.

hannah – Chatterbox Editor

I love Six Feet Under and Dexter! Seeing Michael C. Hall as an uptight, closeted gay man on Six Feet Under versus a serial killer who kills serial killers on Dexter is a great contrast!

Hans – Photo Editor

Law & Order – specifically the original and SVU. The writing is horrible, the acting is laughable, but every time I hear that “DOONK-DOONK” sound I’m hopelessly locked into it until the closing credits.

J. Clarence – Columnist

I know this will sound uber stereotypical, but I am a sucker for the Golden Girls. It seems no matter what day or time it is, if it’s on I’ll stop watching whatever else I was watching and enjoy my time with the girls. Its sad, I know.

Other than that I also loved the Honeymooners, for which I have a tendency to wait up early Monday morning (1am) to watch the reruns when they air here.

Jack – Columnist

I think I watch so much crap that I have ceased to really experience guilt about any of it. for the most part I’ll watch anything set in space or involving magic or super heroes regardless of quality. Maybe the only things I really feel guilty about then are the non-fiction shows that sometimes grace my screen for various reasons. For example I’ll admit to a somewhat secret love of Say Yes to the Dress, though I doubt that one’s gonna make Hulu anytime soon.

Jean – Staff Contributor

I hate to admit this, but the first thing i did when i got Netflix is watch every episode of The L Word. I felt so left out for not having Showtime all those years! (PS: It was amazing.)

Jeremy Gloff – Columnist

Hands down I Love Lucy

Jolly – Local Editor/Contributor

I agree that Buffy is in no way, shape or form a guilty pleasure. Just a pleasure. In every way imaginable.

If I had any kind of shame about the TV I watch, I would probably be kind of embarrassed to admit that I watched the first two seasons of Felicity in two days during my last semester as an undergrad to avoid studying for a final. I am legitimately ashamed, however, of the fact that I was then inspired to write my name and the year inside of my dorm room’s closet right before graduation…

Josh – Houston Editor

I really enjoy cheesy action/dramas from the 80s: Knight Rider, The A-Team, Magnum P.I. – maybe even an episode or two of Greatest American Hero. Anything with music by Mike Post.

PS: Second the Golden Girls. Just finished watching an episode.

Jude – Columnist

I don’t know how proud i am of watching Glee…

Kat – Illustrator

While I am holding out for the Wonder Years to be released on something, anything… I am biding my time with The Facts of Life.

Levi – Columnist

Mine is probably the British show Skins (who doesn’t love wild Brits?). And I will admit that I’ve been digging the new Comedy Central show Ugly Americans.
And I’m still trying to justify my love of Beavis and Butthead.

Maureen – Managing Editor

There’s a reason why my father calls it “The Idiot Box.” After just 30 minutes my mind oozes and my body grafts to the couch. Still, I’m addicted. There’s something about settling down after a particularly lousy week to catch up on Bethany’s love life on the Real Housewives of New York, Effy and Fred’s psychotropic-induced romance on Britain’s Skins and Gossip Girl’s Chuck and Blair’s latest sex-scapade. I would not equate any of the reality and faux-reality shows I indulge in to be of any quality. Television is escapism, and reality shows allow you to detach from your own drama and delve into someone else’s. The more dysfunctional, the better. I mean, who hasn’t watched an episode of Bad Girls Club and felt better about their life afterwards?

raphael – LA Editor

Buffy is not a guilty pleasure!

Angel, maybe.

Topher – TV Columnist

I watch so much bona fide jaw-droppingly awful television that I no longer feel any sort of shame when my roommates come home from a night out and find me on the couch watching syndicated infomercials.

The only TV viewing habit I still feel somewhat furtive about is an wrenching need to watch whole seasons of shows at a time. Marathon specials of ANYTHING always stop a productive day in its tracks, and the same goes for putting in season 1 disc 1 of a show. I must finish! I must find all the answers.

I remember when I started watching Lost, 2 seasons were already out on DVD. I borrowed them from a friend, and didn’t emerge from my cave of squallor (my room, but darker, and with more pizza boxes and empty wine bottles) for a good three days.

It was great!

zack – Editor-in-Chief

Boy Meets World is the guiltiest pleasure there is. I once bought a whole season on DVD to save for a special occasion, which ended up being new years day 2007. The travails of Cory, Sean, Topanga and the like make for deceptively amazing hangover cures.

Arthur – Sports Writer

The way the music industry is constructed, I have no problem admitting that I download music. There are very few artists who actually make money from their own record sales, most of their money comes through touring and selling products (see: Sean Carter). Also: the vast majority of music released by major labels sucks. Why pay for crap when you can get it for free? There are a few artists whose cd’s I’ll actually go and buy no problem (Kanye West, Kylie Minogue), but even with those (Kylie, in particular), some artists I really like aren’t released in the US and the only way I can get their music is to download it illegally (or through iTunes, which STILL doesn’t have some of Kylie’s stuff. What the hell is that?!)

Chris – Columnist

This is a complex issue. I support the artists I enjoy with financial compensation, but I think the music industry needs to be reformed in a way where music is more accessible in a legal and affordable way. No, iTunes is not the answer. For this reason I enjoy internet radio like CHIRP, the Current, or Pandora. Also, you asked about vinyl — not to sound like a snob, but nothing sounds better than it does on vinyl. I don’t own enough because it is expensive, but my friends have sizable collections that I’d like to get my hands on (if only they’d let me touch the record player).

corey – Staff Contributor

Unless it’s the very occasional artist I feel like screwing over, I only download from iTunes. I love that I get to preview things and that I can purchase them compulsively without leaving my house (err, without leaving Starbucks, since I am too poor for Internets). Occasionally, however, I still buy CDs. If they weren’t more expensive and less ecologically friendly, I would always be old-school in this regard. I get strange, kinesthetic stimulation from purchasing and opening CDs, and putting them in my stereo for the first time. And yes, very rarely, I will buy vinyl. I have a collection of Joni Mitchells that I listen to whenever I have access to my record player in Connecticut, and it is fabulous.

hannah – Chatterbox Editor

During the height of Napster/Lime Wire/Kazaa I was always hesitant mostly because of hearing horror stories of legal consequences. Since the invention and growing popularity of Pandora and YouTube (for music videos) I mainly listen to music online for free or buy it from iTunes. Also, once I got to know some local musicians it made me want to support them by buying their music more!

Hans – Photo Editor

I used Napster before it was shut down and Kazaa for a few years while I was in college and too broke to afford all of the music that I wanted. I stopped after several of my friends were hit with RIAA notices and lawsuits from the big labels. Now I think that in the age of iTunes and Amazon, where I can buy all the songs I want for $1 or so apiece, DRM-free, there’s really no justification for stealing – regardless of how crooked and filthy rich the recording industry execs are.

Jean – Staff Contributor

I have never practiced the art of pirating music, initially because i didnt know how to do it, then because I was afraid, and then because I felt that it wasnt fair. I also really love the aesthetic experience of buying and opening CDs, but the disc drive on my computer hasnt worked in 3 years so when i buy cds im usually relegated to listening only at work — and that makes me sad. I buy off of itunes impulsively like the downloads are free–it rememembers my card information so I just click “buy” and its mine–weeeeeeeeeeeee!! I also love the ubiquitousness of itunes giftcards– holidays, thank yous, office pools, etc — I feel like a lot of us are hearing and learning a lot of new music from how easy and sharable it all has become. So, no, don’t steal music, but yes, buy and share with friends (and request that they do they same!)

Josh – Houston Editor

I haven’t purchased a CD since the late 1990s. I remember when I was a freshman in college we had our first taste of high-speed internet with the dorm LAN. Napster was just unveiled and we were like kids in a candy shop. I downloaded everything. The people who shared music were purists – uploading only high quality MP3s that were edited properly. As time went on and things got more mainstream, the quality of the available downloads went down sharply. I tend to think the RIAA had something to do with this. At some point, probably around 2005, it became easier to just pay for the music. I prefer sites that offer straight MP3s, rather than some format that incorporates DRM – and I don’t care much for iTunes’ pricing schedule (i.e., 99 cents for unpopular songs and $1.29 for the current stuff.) – I’m giving LaLa a try but it hasn’t been as good as I was hoping. As far as I’m concerned, music ownership in the traditional sense died years ago.

Kat – Illustrator

As an artist, I definitely recognize, though it is hard to articulate, the feeling of wanting to make sure my work continues to be ‘mine.’

It’s a piece of me, it came from me, and its genuine essence is only accurately reflected through me. At the same time, I also recognize how important it is to take advantage of networking and the community to expand awareness of the work I’m doing. With the advances in technology and social media we have, I think that the benefits of music sharing are incredible for the music community. The only music I personally download are albums that I own in hard copy and can’t get onto my computer (I have a wonky cd/dvd drive), or individual songs from artists I want to check out, and ultimately buy their albums. I particularly make it a point to buy music from bands I really love – note those hard copy Tegan and Sara albums. It isn’t untrue that many artists no longer make profit from producing albums, if they ever did in the first place. Especially when we are talking about hard copies. I think it is always going to be difficult to copyright and regulate property that isn’t so tangible, like music. Ultimately I think we all have to make decisions about whether or not we want respect for our own creations, and subsequently if the way we are managing our music libraries is respectful to the artists who write, produce, and record our beloved tunes.

Levi – Staff Contributer

I am proud to say that I still buy CDs (sometimes I even get/make cassettes)…I like having a physical copy of the music, because I know all too well the impermanence of computer files.

Maureen – Assistant Managing Editor

I used Kazaa years ago, much to the chagrin of my parents. I was young, naive and didn’t realize the consequences of pirating music, both legally and to my computer’s hard drive. After crashing our PC a few too many times than I would like to admit, I abandoned the practice. If I want music now, I either pick it up off friends’ computers– which I’ve convinced myself is completely legal– or buy it on ITunes. I love Starbuck’s free ITunes offers, but it can’t beat Pandora.

michael – Co-founder, Webmaster

Imagine this: I buy a new CD for $17.99, rip it onto my computer and then it gets stolen from me. Can I still listen to the music on my computer legally? What if I sell it used for $5.99? What if I bought it used for $5.99, rip it, and then sell it for the same price? What if I just borrow the disc from a friend and rip it? What if he just sends me the MP3 files via email? Or I download them from him via a file sharing service? What if he’s not my friend at all but a stranger?

Each of these scenarios are only slightly different from the previous, yet the potential “legality” of each scenario gets gradually dubious. The point is, it’s really unclear what you are “buying” when you buy music. Are you buying the physical medium, or a personal license to listen to the music? Up until recently, there was little difference. However, the past 10 years have shown us that this is not the case any longer.

The recording industry and the laws that govern their products are woefully out of date. Until the laws catch up with the technology, I have implemented my own personal moral code of conduct for music. One-off tracks I just buy online. Entire albums I buy once I’ve sampled the tracks enough online to know that I want them. Other albums I don’t know very well I’ll borrow from a friend and rip. If I REALLY like it, I’ll buy the tracks digitally to pay for them. I never look for entire albums online. (Of course, all of this is predicated on the fact that I had my entire CD collection stolen from me in 2003, and since then I don’t care one whit about the physical medium. Before then, I was a collector and really enjoyed owning physical copies of my music.)

Upon its release and controversial pricing scheme, I went online and bought the Radiohead album In Rainbows, keying in my own price: $0.00. I decided I’d go back and pay for it if I ended loving the record. I didn’t, so I didn’t. I think that model makes more sense: pay as you go. I know that Rhapsody uses this model, but there is no Mac version.

raphael – LA Editor

It amazes me how people with otherwise well ethics will justify stealing. Typically, I hear people argue how this studio doesn’t deserve their money, or that artist really gets paid via concert tickets. But you know what? It’s still theft. And that theft won’t just be felt by the artists you all love, but also the hundreds of people who are employed to produce, distribute, and sell music. When you steal music, you make it so much harder for good bands to get recorded. You are destroying your local record store, which was once the nucleus of our communities.

I agree that there are some gray areas, and friends SHOULD share music with each other. But most of us know when we’ve crossed that line, and are simply stealing music out of cheapness.

That’s my 2-cents. I guess I’ve gotten a lot more sensitive to this issue living in LA, where so many people make their livings from the creative industry.

Rohan – Music Editor

Oh music piracy. I’ve got my hands tied behind my back on this one, so I can’t say too much. Nowadays I get most of my music from promoters, but the stuff that I don’t get I buy in physical form, but yes I download music. It is weird to think that people don’t like physical copies of music, but I prefer listening to actual CDs. I don’t keep all my music on my computer; I only keep tracks I don’t have physically.

I have only bought two songs on iTunes ever, mostly because there is nothing that I want that I couldn’t just get for free from a legit mp3 blog. If you want free music – singles that is – use hype machine. And let’s get something straight, the people who are torrent clueless are just lazy. Are you scared of viruses? Buy a fucking Mac. Anyways, people have moved beyond torrents, mostly due to ratio requirements, it is all about the file delivery services now.

It is funny when people say; it is alright for people to share their music, because c’mon you know you have a friend that is a pirate. You know you are calling that person up when you see that his last.fm says he/she’s listened to LCD Soundsystem’s This is Happening thirty times and you want it. If he/she shares it with you, although he/she got it illegally, is that right? Or should you only share things once the release date has passed?

?

Topher – TV Columnist

I dunno, call me a thief, call me dishonest, whatever. It just seems like thinking people aren’t going to get their content for free these days is moronic. It’s like demanding all bloggers purchase the rights to the photos copied from a Google image search and pasted into a post.

To me, it seems like companies should just be searching for new ways to control their content, and make money off of it. ITunes is making money because its price points are super low and it’s super simple to use. NBC does a fantastic job of making sure that its shows don’t appear anywhere other than on streams from which the company can derive income.

As a consumer, I’m not saying I’m opposed to paying for music and video, but I’m asking to be pitched. Come on corporations – convince me! It’s just too damned easy to get everything I want for free, and I really don’t like being talked down to with the “you’re stealing money from starving artists and funding al Qaeda” bit.

A little PS - http://labs.timesonline.co.uk/blog/2009/11/12/do-music-artists-do-better-in-a-world-with-illegal-file-sharing/
(yes, it’s for England, but still!)

Andrew D – Marketing Director

It’s an interesting question. I’m conflicted on the subject. I think on some level that observing same sex coupling in animals gives further relevance to the existence of homosexuality as something we are born with rather than something we chose. But then how could we really know whether animals chose or not? As humans have an obvious connection to our animal brethren via our evolutionary channels and progression, it’s natural to want to examine these occurrences and consider their validation. Or at least to consider their relevance if any.

On the other hand I find it slightly crude to need to justify human homosexuality by acknowledging that other species, closely related or not, also reflect these qualities. It should be enough that large quantities of humans across the world identify as LGBT to validate that we are in fact LGBT. Nobody needs to validate that humans can be born Albino by examining that animals also are born without pigmentation! Obviously that is something we can see with our eyes without having to exhibit behaviors or tendencies, but the underlying principle is the same if you believe homosexuals are born that way, and I definitely believe that.

I ultimately think that humans are humans and animals are animals and while we can draw parallels between the two, we are still different species and need to be seen that way. If we want an answer to why humans are gay we should study humans! Plain and simple.

Arthur – Sports Writer

Since when has rational science had a meaningful impact on the use of religious dogmatic language? Homosexuality isn’t something new, historically. It’s just now viewed in a much different way than it has before. Animals (which humans are) have sex. Sometimes with the same sex. Why do we all make such a big deal about this?

Jean – Staff Contributor

I love animals. Even more if they are gay. Unfortunately people who are against homosex are often simultaneously against evolution, so those folks don’t think we are at all related to animals or that we could have the same senses or bahaviors. thus its a bad argument: “Animals have gay relationships, not humans.” sigh, the cycle continues.

Levi – Staff Contributer

I am reminded of the “Big Gay Al’s Big Gay Boatride” episode of South Park.
Though somehow I am nervous that some conservatives are going to start trying more radical gay conversion methods on these gay animals (because it is way easier to experiment with harmful and inhumane things on animals than it is to people) to try to prove that homosexuality can be “cured”.

raphael – LA Editor

It makes me realize how censored our biological education really is.
When highschools neglect to teach us about the diversity of animal and
human sexuality, they make us feel like we are apart from the normal
range.

Somehow, I don’t think this will make it into the textbooks in Texas….

t – Contributor

I think this is a fascinating but very complicated issue. I liked this
article a lot because I felt it didn’t assume very much, presented a
lot of clear unbiased facts and asked the right questions, leaving
many doors open.

Reading this made me wonder if maybe we’ve been adhering to theories
we assume to be (and are generally) true but may not be as
all-encompassing as we think. For instance, natural selection. We
assume all animals are heterosexual and assume they mate solely for
the purpose of creating offspring because we know genes are selfish
and seek self-replication. But what if it’s more complicated than
that? What if our search for a mate is not only about the physical act
of sex but also long-term well-being. I don’t know how scientifically
this could make sense, but reading this article and thinking about all
these animals who appear to be in “homosexual” RELATIONSHIPS (not just
having GAY SEX) made me wonder if we are a) misunderstanding or not
fully understanding natural selection and/or b) over-analyzing what is
“natural” and why.

I think we tend to make things overly complicated when maybe the more
obvious answer has been sitting in front of us the whole time -
homosexuality is as natural as heterosexuality because sexuality is
not just about sex and reproduction. We’re more complex than that,
let’s dig a little deeper, think a little harder and maybe we’ll come
up with some more insightful explanations for “why” homosexuality
exists in nature…if this is even a question we wish to spend so much
precious time answering.

Topher – TV Columnist

I sent my Mating Systems professor a link to both of those stories, in a sort of apology for making a mockery of what was a really great class. Instead of telling me I was an idiot, and also instead of telling me I was a beautiful genius, she replied quite simply:

“Recent research suggests that male homosexuality is an offshoot of a trait that increases female reproductive success… no one has figured out the lesbians (as usual). Good to hear from you.”

She’s a lesbian herself, so didn’t mean any real offense to the ladies, but geez, right? What a science teacher!

For me the best part about these advances in scientific study is not what it proves, but the place it gives me. I’ve always loved biology, and have felt oddly excluded from the whole thing. I mean, in a very basic sense our biological sexual desires remove us from evolution. That to me felt like Darwin was labeling me, not as flawed, but just as not even worth considering. Not “natural” in any way.

Now, at least I’ve got a place in the mix. Sure, the religious right is going to use this against us, but they do that with everything! And sure, a male lion having sex with another male lion doesn’t give either one of them the healthy babies that Darwin puts such a premium on. But at least science is starting to take notice of what those two sexy lions are doing to each other, and isn’t afraid to study it honestly.

zack – Editor-in-Chief

This is all our fault. Before the rise of the gay movement, animals like bears and otters had no sexualized connotations, so they didn’t even think to mate with anything other than the opposite sex. Than us pesky homos came along and taught them how to be perverts. what’s next, the teaching of sodomy in schools of fish?

Raised as a black Roman Catholic, I’ve been Baptized, received First Communion, and got Confirmed. After coming out, and growing up, I’ve grown apart from my religion but my faith has grown stronger. I believe that religion is the foundation for you to discover and build your own faith on. Not every foundation is solid or sound and while many can be built on extreme pretenses or ideas, some can help you grow. My faith is more on my personal relationship with whoever/whatever conducts/guides life. I do believe everything happens for a reason and while there might be a higher power I’m not sure who/what that is. But my faith does help me to try to do good by others and to respect all people of all walks of life.

Andrew D – Marketing Director

Religion, religion… I could literally talk for hours on the subject matter.

To avoid a five-page essay I’ll keep it short. I was raised Presbyterian and am thankful for the values that were instilled in me being raised in the church. The Presbyterian Church unlike many others is a really accepting, tolerant, and progressive church. My mother was a deacon and an elder growing up, and there was a female minister or two along the way. I always admired that the Presbyterian Church allowed women to serve in positions of ‘power/authority’ within the church. It’s one of my biggest problems with many religious groups that place women on a lower platform than the men in the church.

Currently I guess I’m agnostic/undecided. I’m pretty sure there is a greater entity or energy out there influencing the atoms and molecules in the universe, I’m just not sure it has one singular face or name. I love the idea of polytheism and if I ever decide to adopt a religion again in the future, Buddhism will be my ‘drug of choice’ for numerous reasons.

As for religion being an important social construct versus social crutch, I think that it ultimately depends on the individual and can be important in both regards. Largely I believe that blindly following any religion is a terrible idea. Religion should be scrutinized just like any contract, bank statement, or textbook. I believe religion is designed to guide its followers to get through the ups and downs of life. In this respect I think it is an important social construct. Religion teaches us the fundamentals of being a good person, in Christianities case, the Ten Commandments: don’t steal, don’t cheat on your significant other, don’t lie… etc. Every major religion has its version of the golden rule, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” If everyone who embraced religion actually followed this construct, the world would be a much better place. Unfortunately this is not the case.

While religion taught me the fundamental dos and don’ts of the world, others have taken much more from what they read/are spoon fed, and this is where it becomes a social crutch. There is not an American alive today who is not aware that religion can and is commonly taken out of context to suit personal gains/agendas. 9-11 and the ongoing wars in Afghanistan and Iraq remind us of this every day. The radical Muslims who compose Al Qaeda terrorist cells and the insane bigots who make up groups like the Westboro Baptist Church are perfect examples of religious misinterpretation. On another level, zealots like Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck constantly contradict themselves via their religion based persecutions of others and consistently fail to “turn the other cheek.” I feel like more and more people forget what Jesus was all about. I’m not here to preach, God knows I have my share of faults, but Jesus was all about loving thy neighbor as thyself, and living by example. He was not a perfect man, but he would certainly question the evangelicals and the radio/TV zealots of today for completely misunderstanding the bible. I believe we call them false prophets, and I’m pretty sure the bible condemns that type of behavior.

I always say that if these people are all going to heaven, send me straight to hell. And while I make light of the afterlife due to my personal uncertainty, I like to believe I’m a good person more or less. I try to put the most positive energy I can into the world and hope that in the end when I’m cremated and my ashes settle on the ocean floor, that my soul has traveled to a better place where people respect each other and have learned to get along. Whether that is heaven I don’t know. But I know that if I play my cards right, I’ll simultaneously be having tea with Ghandi, Buddha, John Lennon, and Mother Theresa. Because, all good people deserve to go to ‘heaven,’ or whatever you want to call it!

Andrew F – Columnist

I guess I’d call myself an atheist, but not in the shallow sense of the word that people like Richard Dawkins and Christopher Hitchens have made popular in the past few years. Atheism as I live it isn’t so much the rejection but the culmination of religious commitment: the self-creation, autonomy, and responsibility that was emphasized in my Protestant upbringing came to outgrow the theology I was raised on. I rightly left it behind me, but would never think of disowning it, and few weeks go by that I don’t reflect on what I take to be the most important idea to come out of Christianity: that an infinite and almighty god would radically limit and then kill himself, leaving us with our freedom and no one to answer to but each other. Good Friday has always seemed to me more honest and more hopeful than Easter.

Arthur – Sports Writer

The problem with religion is when you force your beliefs on someone else. I’m very, very comfortable with my personal relationship with God, and as a born, raised, baptized and confirmed Irish Catholic, that’s all I need. I do think a belief in something more is important, and I don’t think religion is a social crutch. People who are too fervently religious or too staunch in their atheism either try and use fear or mockery to convince others in my experience, which is troubling. But, I’m also well known as an idiot, so….

Chris – Columnist

Andrew D – Marketing Director

Five Gay Bars Across the Nation That Tickle My Pickle (In no particular order)

1. Lone Star Saloon – San Francisco, CA

This bar has Saloon doors for one, a great décor, great bartenders and patrons who are no-nonsense gays. To top it all of they have one of the most amazing pieces of art on the wall I’ve ever seen in a bar, a man being raped by a lion. It’s worth popping in just to see this! Plus there is an outdoor patio for enjoying summer nights.

1. Berlin – Boys Town, Chicago, IL

So this is a tourist trap from what I understand but wholly hell I had fun here and what a freak show. Sexy Midwest boys doing their best to dance and catch my attention, not to mention their was a midget dancing on a podium and people just being scandalous when I attended. Definitely worth checking out!

1. Akbar – Silverlake, Los Angeles, CA

A local watering hole and hands down my favorite gay bar in L.A. It can get pretty crowded on a Saturday night but the people here are great and you’ll catch an occasional celebrity milling about.

1. Nellie’s Sports Bar – Washington, DC

This bar is just fun and I’ve never really seen another gay sports bar quite like this. Even if you don’t like sports, this bar has a total kitsch feeling to it and I pretty much always have a blast here.

1. Metropolitan – Brooklyn, NY

This bar is a great hole in the wall in Williamsburg. In the summer they have Sunday BBQ’s and even serve veggie burgers for meat racists like myself. The people who attend are fun and eclectic and you’ll generally always have a great time here.

Notable Mentions:

Falcon (Beige Tuesday Nights) – Los Angeles, CA (great patio & atmosphere)

The Green Lantern – Washington, DC (literally in an alley, love this bar)

Stonewall Inn – New York City, NY (this place is historic and worth checking out)

MJ’s Bar – Los Angeles, CA (Rim Job Tuesdays are always awesome)

Andrew F – Columnist

Springfield, Missouri’s Martha’s Vineyard – my babygay nursery – left a hole in my heart and liver that I’ll never be able to fill. The windows are bricked up, the drag is raging trash, you actually have to watch your back walking to your car after last call, and it’s perfectly legal to smoke inside.

Arthur – Sports Writer

I don’t think bars are the important factor. Who you go with is. I’ll have to cosign on that no cover bit. And due to the company I keep, my favorite bar would be Roscoe’s in Chicago.

Ben K. – Film Contributor

Here in Chicago, my favorite gay bar is Roscoe’s Tavern. But full disclosure, I worked there for two years, and am completely biased as many of my friends still are there, and this is the real reason I enjoy it.

Other than that, the best on the strip in Boystown, and I think the most suited to a tng sensibility, would definitely be Scarlet. Recently reopened after a fire burnt it to the ground, it has a lounge feel without all the attitude. Much of the pretense of Halsted St. falls away as guys (mostly) and gals of all types pack it in for a fun night out. http://www.scarletbarchicago.com/

Bryan – San Francisco Editor

1) My 2 favorite bars in Atlanta are not gay bars: The EARL (http://www.badearl.com/) and The Highlander (http://www.thehighlanderatlanta.com/). But if I were to recommend 2 gay bars for TNG, I’d pick Mary’s (http://marysatlanta.com/) or The Eagle (http://www.atlantaeagle.com/Intro.html).

Chris – Columnist

Andrew D – Marketing Director

I didn’t really have an opinion on the matter until I relayed the question to my partner. His response, and I agree with him, was that ENDA is most important right now. The reason being that all systemic problems/periphery issues, are based in discrimination. If Discrimination is ended in the work place, that will be ingrained in ALL people, and be carried out into the world beyond the office. Or at least people will begin to be exposed to the LGBT community and feel less threatened. Once ENDA is in place, everything will trickle down, at least that’s his theory, and I’m prone to agree with the logic behind it.

Although DADT could be a pinnacle issue as well if you look at it historically. The military was desegregated by Truman in 1948. In May 1954, Brown v. Board of Education of Topeka, desegregated schools, which jump started the civil rights movement leading to all kinds of laws protecting African Americans and allotting them equal rights as their white neighbors. In a sense the military during WWII was a pretty major “work place” for Americans as well.

Marriage Equality has already begun in several states with other states taking the first step in acknowledging out of state same-sex licenses. It’s all in motion. I’m not sure any one issue is more important entirely than the others, but they seem to be working together and it looks like we’ll have proper rights in a nearer future than we may believe.

Andrew F – Columnist

Employment non-discrimination and marriage equality seem to me the key battles, mostly because I’m quite comfortable being exempt from the draft and never having to worry about giving blood, thank you very much.

hannah – Chatterbox Editor

ENDA! Right now our transgendered siblings can get fired for their gender identity. Feeling safe in the workplace should come first and foremost in our fight for equality.

Hans – Photo Editor

I’m a big believer in breaking large problems down into smaller components and attacking them individually. There are, of course, smaller and more localized problem areas to attack, but I think that the major sub-components to full legal equality are covered in ENDA, the repeal of DADT, and full (federal and state) marriage rights. We have strong advocacy groups working on DADT (SLDN) and marriage (GLAD and AFER). A trans-inclusive ENDA will require pressure on Congress, which might be aided by an angry and motivated GLBT voter base spearheaded by the likes of John Aravosis, Pam Spaulding, and David Mixner. I think we’re on the right track as far as focus goes, but we need to be prepared to follow through with threats to hold Democrats who shy away from GLBT issues after gladly taking our money and votes, and lobbying organizations who are too weak-kneed and/or elitist to cash in their political capital, accountable in a way that puts the fear of God into them (lost money, lost votes, and bad press – the holy trinity of political motivation).

J. Clarence – Columnist

All the issues mentioned are important issues, the difficulty really boils down to is where you put your resources. If you look at it from a practical standpoint it makes more sense to take smaller chunks, where you have a greater chance of getting what you want (see the backlash in Virginia after the Attorney sent a letter saying colleges do not have to include sexual orientation in its anti-discrimination clauses), than to go after the big ticket items (i.e. marriage-equality) which can be more contentious and thus less likely for you to come out victories (see marriage-equality and the amount of states with constitutional amendments defining marriage as between one man and one woman) and build a consensus from there.

The only problem with that is social-movement rarely tend to look at things from a practical standpoint but rather idealistic, i.e. “we’re here, we’re queer, get used to it”. And we are all very fortunate for them doing so.

Progress in any area would help in the long-run, as once you get over the initial hurdle it becomes much easier.

In general though the queer community needs to adopt a holistic approach and not put all of its eggs in once basket (i.e. marriage equality), at the same though it should sense where the mood is within the community, or communities, and adjust appropriately and not simply say you have to get on board.

Jess Five – Contributor

The queer rights movement isn’t focusing on the right things. It has a middle class agenda. With that being said, we should focus on universal health care, homelessness, and hunger. Those are real queer issues.

Josh – Houston Editor

I’m not sure that targeting any one anti-gay policy is an effective strategy at all. Each time we defeat an antiquated law, another jackass politician introduces a new one that further limits gay rights. The other side views this as a battle and each little victory we have further inflames them and their lobbying machine. This kind of civil rights “Whack-A-Mole” is counter productive and stressful. It’s a much more effective strategy to change minds en masse so that these politicians will eventually find that there is no support amongst the constituency for anti-gay measures. The only way to do this is to make coming out a priority.

Levi – Staff Contributer

Trans-inclusive ENDA is tops in my mind. That helps and involves everyone in the community, because not all of us want to get married or join the military, but pretty much all of us have had to deal with, are dealing with, or soon will be dealing with the issue of employment in our lives. Not only that, be the ability to be open in our jobs without the fear of being terminated because of it will lead to increased visibility, which will help to further people’s understanding about GLBTQ community even more in all aspects of our society (because in all aspects of society, there is some sort of job involved/related to it).

raphael – LA Editor

NO! We are NOT focusing on the right things.

I think it’s odd how the most “heteronormative” causes (DADT and SSM) are the highest priority of the mainstream gay rights groups. I think that the most important ones are those that have the greatest impact on the largest number of people, preventing them from living normal lives:

1. Top priorities: ENDA. This should be priority #1 with a bullet. We aren’t able to earn livelihoods in some states because laws do not protect us from being fired, evicted, etc. Even if we live in a state that protects us, we are affected because we lose our protections by crossing certain state boundaries. This is a huge impact on every gay person in the country, to say nothing of our friends and families. And I can’t believe this law hasn’t been passed yet. I’d forgive Obama’s other failings to the gays if he can get this done.

Adoption laws should also be top priority because these laws are spiteful and cause real harm to kids. The impact to the parents is only secondary.

Safe schools. We should work hard to stop bullying and teen suicide.

I should probably include wage disparities and barriers to full enfranchisement of women in this category. Sexism drags us all down, ESPECIALLY the gays, including gay men.

2. On a second tier, I’d include immigration laws, like the Permanent Partners Immigration Act (PPIA). It’s terrible that our immigration laws actively destroy families. The only reason I don’t rank this higher is that most of us aren’t in binational couples.

DADT is borderline between first and second tier. I think the law hampers national security, and we should repeal it on those grounds alone. Like PPIA, current law is highly destructive to some lives, but not the majority of GLBT individuals.

3. Same-sex marriage is important, but nowhere near the importance of these other causes. I think that many of us could swallow the indignity of accepting “everything-but-the-name” arrangments in relatively liberal California, or even hobbling together a patchwork of contracts and agreements in Talibangelic Texas, as long as we have a right to pursue a livelihood and have the families we want.

I’m not sure how I feel about international human rights. On the one hand, the plight of gays in the developing world is bigger than all the issues I mentioned above. But on the other hand, I think we should fix our own homes first. Perhaps we should try to support and develop local gay rights groups in countries like Uganda, rather than encourage our own government to take a harder line on them. I don’t think we can be that productive externally unless there is a strong network in place in each country. We can’t fix the problem for them.

Health issues (like HIV) and poverty have particularities that affect the GLBT community, and we should make strong arguments for them. But I think they are both aspects of greater problems that affect society as a whole. We should collaborate with larger groups expanding health care and fighting poverty.

zack – Editor-in-Chief

I think the priority should be each and every queer person focusing on the cause that matters to them. Some people care about DADT and have the skills and resources to work on it. If someone else wants to solely work on getting DC to have genderless bathrooms, for example, that’s what they should work on. The queer community is a big one and its impossible for us to work in unison on any one cause. But all of us working on our own causes at the same time will continue to chip away at “the way things are” and start to bring about change.

amelie – Staff Contributor

I think marriage is a wonderful excuse to wear nice dresses, get a really good cake and have a ridiculous party. Also, legal rights are nice too.