I live in Chicago which includes Boystown, the main gayborhood within the city, where every Halloween you can be certain to see an endless parade of male and female flesh popping out at all angles. Some people find it obnoxious and annoying. Bumping into an infinite number of 20-something trixies made up as Sexy Little Bo Peep, Sexy Strawberry Shortcake, Sexy Cat, Sexy Angel, Sexy Devil, Sexy Alice in Wonderland, Sexy Dorothy Gale, etc., etc. can be exhausting. Maybe for some people, but not for me. I truly enjoy staring at everyone looking like sluts because it just seems more natural and fun. Plus, I’m a huge pervert so that kind of helps.

Wax play, one of the most popular sports in the S&M list of possible activities, means to drip or pour melted wax on the submissive’s body. As you can imagine, it can be dangerous for both the Dom and the sub and requires extreme focus and care on the Dom’s end. But it’s also fun and easy when done properly.

Now, this not to say that all Orthodox kids are sheltered and completely aware of LGBTQ identities, because that’s certainly not true. Actually, my two best and most accepting friends on campus happens to be a straight, cisgender Orthodox guy and his girlfriend. Yet, on the whole, it hasn’t been a pretty picture. There are people who have known me for almost a year, have heard people refer to me as “he” or as a guy, but still call me “she” or include me in statements such as “we have x number of girls right now”.

What is BDSM? What isn’t BDSM? What rules do you have to follow in order to say “Yes, this is BDSM”? Does it have to involve leather or some kind of kink-wear? Does someone have to be bound or restrained in some capacity? Must it involve pain or simulated “punishment”?

I love the sound of chains clinking and clunking when binding a slave up. It establishes a faintly medieval vibe and pushes that aura of inescapablility and punishment. Chains are immediately associated with authority, access, and metalic strength. If it’s man vs. chain, you know automatically who will win. None of us are Superman.

For most of us, if we ever had to endure this devastating realization, it has been more than a decade since. For me? It happened 2 weeks ago; actually three times this summer.

Rather than getting frustrated with some slaves, I’m at the point where I usually know how to translate their verbalized desires into realistic scenes. Like everything else in life, if something sounds exaggerated and unrealistic, it probably is. The same rule applies to BDSM timing. If the slave says that they want to kept in a dog cage for an entire day, I immediately translate that to 25 minutes. If they can go for an hour or two, then I’m definitely impressed. We take it as it goes. Needless to say, you must check in on your slave at intervals as the scene continues along. Leaving them completely alone, in bondage, is a big fat NO and completely out of the question.

But since I love doing those kinds of photos for people because I find it fun, relaxing, etc. and it gives me a chance to do directing, lighting, and software experiments. It’s always a pleasure since it lets me be an art dork and a voyeur at the same time.

In 2002 I was leading a double life that I am certain many gay men live. In public I was all smiles and jokes. No matter how outrageously fun the dance floor was or how many laughs I shared at a meal with my friends…I always went home and immediately got on gay chat sites.

The other night I was thinking to myself that it can be hard to find a clear, solid, concise list of general sites for kink lifestylers. I decided to create one that I put on my personal Master Aiden blog. Like I said, it’s more for Chicago people, but maybe you’ll enjoy it as well even if you’re not here in the same city with me.