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When someone does or says something offensive, one thing that I never want to hear is that I should not be offended because they didn’t mean to be offensive.

There are roughly two sorts of offensiveness in this world: that which is intended and that which is unintended. In some ways the intentional offensiveness is easier to cope and contend with. If a person understands that what they do or say is offensive, even if they do it anyway, at least they are living in the same universe as you. They know that there are certain things that will push your buttons, and even though they have chosen to go ahead and push, they at least acknowledge that the buttons are there. It hurts to be the intended target of hurtful actions or words, but there is some degree of comfort in knowing that you’re starting from a common ground, and that you know where you stand with the offender.

Ideas, Rants »

Language has always fascinated me. The way words come to represent concepts, or to misrepresent them, the ways the things which words represent can change and evolve, and how sometimes the words follow suit, and sometimes they don’t. Words and language are so powerful, so complex, and yet they have no reality in and of themselves. Stripped of context, language is merely a series of letters and/or sounds. In context, however, they can create or destroy whole worlds.

Commentary, Ideas, Politics, Rants »

I want nothing more than for President Obama to succeed. I voted for him and I was there in Grant Park in Chicago on the night he won. It was an exhilarating moment, for all of us there, and the millions across the country who were riding the wave of Obama’s brand of “Hope”. I would have put my money on seeing George W. Bush and Dick Cheney get gay-married over seeing my home state of Indiana go blue and vote for a Democrat for President, but it happened.

Cynical And Southern, Rants »

I stand by something I realized sixteen years ago. The best way to change the world is to be yourself. When people see dollar bills with minority scribbling it doesn’t defuse their hatred or enlighten them. But when people see that their neighbor or co-worker is an awesome person who just happens to be gay, the impact could potentially be huge.

Columns, Cynical And Southern, Rants »

I’ve forgiven my father, my ex-boyfriends, my evil classmates, and shady former friends. I’ve forgiven my cousin that sat behind me in college and called me a fag. Only one memory races my adrenalin and it’s that of Coco the drag queen.

Commentary, Rants, The Adventures of the Boi Wonder »

I know there are other “young adults” like me out there who are frustrated by this; I’ve talked to them before (yes, sometimes I do actually associate with my peers). When I was still at community college, I remember hearing at least one girl lament that she couldn’t find a lesbian bar that wasn’t 21+ where she could go and openly meet and dance with other queer women. Even when school is in session, you really feel the need to occasionally escape often-incestuous queer group of you college (sometimes you don’t want to make out with someone and have to see them in your Economics class on Monday). At least, Apex, for the mixed feelings people had about it, was actually a place where gay 18+ young adults could go hang out and dance (there was even a weekly free night for college students), but it has recently shut down. That pretty much leaves us up shit’s creek until something changes.

Cynical And Southern, Rants »

I’ve met “the biggest bitch in the world” at least thirty times. It’s line that’s been used more times than “I’ll call you tomorrow”.

Cynical And Southern, Rants »

It’s always the same kind of people that complain about a lack of culture. They are always white. Quite often they are “artists” in the most mediocre sense possible. Almost always they are unsupportive of their local scene, never contributing to it themselves. Quite often these kids talk about how they are going to move to New York City because “there’s more culture there”. Whiney white kids. I am only comfortable generalizing so much because I’ve had to struggle through this conversation at least fifty times.

Columns, Cynical And Southern, Ideas, Rants »

When I visited New York last year I read an article in a zine from a girl who prefaced her name with about seven adjectives. She was a “radical feminist punk vegan queer blah blah motherfucking blah” writer. And as I perused her article one side of me “aww-ed” at the cute idealism of pre-packaged youth, while the other side of me guffawed at the explicit self-stereotyping going on.

Rants »

I can’t believe I’m actually addressing you in a formal letter. Doing so validates both your existence as a pop icon and the ridiculousness of your name. I have to admit I’m not a fan of your music, but I do appreciate what you’re doing to raise the visibility of queer issues in mainstream culture. And while I take issue with the audacity that must motivate anyone proclaiming themselves any sort of icon, I freely admit that today’s gay culture could use some new leadership.