In my newest blog video, HIV advocate and fitness author Nelson Vergel explains erectile dysfunction and its treatments, including issues related to those with HIV.

Personal lubricants are an essential but often misunderstood aspect of the sexual experience. Until this year I always thought of lube as something I needed for the dungeon, not for my bedroom. Working at Lotus Blooms has changed all that. Now I understand that using lube is normal and I’m glad to know there are a variety of types of lubes to choose from, so many in fact that I think an explanation is in order. Lubes add variety to love making and give couples more choices about how they want to be together.

The idea was that Social Security would address the permanent problem of economic security for the elderly by creating a work-related, contributory system. Workers would provide for their own future benefits through taxes paid while employed. According to the Social Security Administration, it was an “alternative both to reliance on welfare and to radical changes in our capitalist system. In the context of its time, it can be seen as a moderately conservative, yet activist, response to the challenges of the Depression.”

There is a folder, tucked within a folder, buried deep in my computer files. I shouldn’t be looking at its contents, yet I can’t bring myself to delete it altogether. It is labeled MARCUS, and inside the folder is my disease.

In 2007 I kept getting staph infections and it scared the hell out of me.

In the words of JoAnne Rome, born without a left hand, she describes being stared at by able bodied people, “I owed an explanation to everyone who demanded one ….‘What happened to your arm?’ was a luxury I could not chose to answer… the world made it clear I owed them an explanation”.

The concept of cruising fascinates me on some several levels. One of the things that I find so telling is the risk we are willing to take when it comes down to this business of getting “done.” Often we are led to believe that our actions have no consequences — that we can do whatever we like, whenever we like and if it isn’t hurting anyone, who gives a shit. This is a very wrong, upside down way of handling our decisions and consequently our lives.

Lookism, the judgment of others based on their physical appearances, has been a chronic social problem. Normally, weight is among the primary characteristics, resulting in size-ism. Lookism can be rampant in gay communities and shows in unexpected ways in the lesbian community.

My friend Carlton is a chain smoker, even if all his cigarettes are imaginary.

His standard pose consists of one hand resting on his hip — elbow jutting out as if in the midst of a runway strut — while the other arm is forever in motion, his hand swiveling constantly around his face and shoulders.

All that’s missing is the cigarette, which you would swear you witnessed him smoking after having met him. Carlton even punctuates wry remarks by tapping his index fingers soundly on some phantom, extended filter. If his remark is particularly withering or at least gets a laugh, he’ll bring two fingers to his lips and add “puff puff, darling…”

Every gym has its own culture. I’m not there to flirt or even stare – but are the straights sensing my queer and feeling creeped?