There is this intense feeling of numbness and exhaustion in the days following a horrific event in a family (or family-like circle of friends,) especially when one hasn’t really been sleeping anyway. The headache that I had for a week probably wasn’t helping to cure the numbness and exhaustion either.
Just like there’s every kind of gay, there’s every kind of gay dad. Unfortunately, every group also has its stereotypes. And thanks to Modern Family, every two-father family apparently consists of a couple of well-off suburbanites (one queeny, one slightly less so) and an adorably exotic child, adopted from a distant land. You think I’m joking? We have at least two friends who refer to our son as Lily. Mainly because they can’t remember his name, (it’s Jon) but still…
Even when things do get exposed and someone has been “outed”, it’s still just the revealing of the truth. It happened. They had a gay relationship. They’re gay. It’s a fact. Although the person may not be fully comfortable with their sexuality yet, and are not comfortable discussing it, it’s out there. They did what they did. They feel how they feel. They’re dating/having sex with someone of the same sex, and people know about it. “Outing” a celebrity or discussing their sexual orientation, when it’s not just speculation and there’s actual proof, is just discussing the truth. What’s wrong with revealing the truth?
Advice, Columns, Yes, Master »
Don’t be victim to fantasies that are so suffocatingly structured that they could never truly exist outside your imagination. Create space for adjustment, improvement, surprise, and addition. Fantasies are very rarely diminished. What makes them so great is that they can be expanded, improved upon, grown wider, and multiplied with greater variety.
After years of doing the lesbian serial monogamy thing, it dawned on me that each successive relationship was far too similar. With girlfriend after girlfriend, the two choices presented to me were either to work hard on the relationship or to be an independent individual. And if you weren’t having fun, you weren’t working hard enough on commitment. Is it just me, or should there be more to a relationship than work?
Advice, Columns, From Lesbos With Love »
My ex-girlfriend was hesitant at first to tell me she loved me because she was worried she was confusing lust with love. When she told me this, I was upset. She had already said “I love you,” and it felt like she was taking it back. I knew with all my heart that I was in love with her, and her need to define – to calculate – what she was feeling offended and confused me. I had never thought about the difference until then, but when I did I had to admit that she actually made a good point. When we first meet someone we’re really into, we want them all the time – whether it’s sexually or emotionally (talking all the time) or both – it can be easy to confuse lust with love.