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Ideas, TNG »

I’ll just rip off the bandage: The New Gay is shutting down. It’s been a fun ride over the past four years. But the site grew so much and so quickly that our rag-tag group of volunteers couldn’t keep up with it. After wrangling with this issue for a while, we decided it was time to close up shop. So now, it’s on to other things.

Columns, Ideas, Sexuality, Yes, Master »

I live in Chicago which includes Boystown, the main gayborhood within the city, where every Halloween you can be certain to see an endless parade of male and female flesh popping out at all angles. Some people find it obnoxious and annoying. Bumping into an infinite number of 20-something trixies made up as Sexy Little Bo Peep, Sexy Strawberry Shortcake, Sexy Cat, Sexy Angel, Sexy Devil, Sexy Alice in Wonderland, Sexy Dorothy Gale, etc., etc. can be exhausting. Maybe for some people, but not for me. I truly enjoy staring at everyone looking like sluts because it just seems more natural and fun. Plus, I’m a huge pervert so that kind of helps.

Commentary, Health, Sex, The Adventures of the Boi Wonder »

I am pretty fresh and sheltered when it comes to the history and realities of HIV/AIDS in our community; I wasn’t born until the early 90’s, have almost always lived in suburbia, and have never known anyone who has HIV/AIDs, let alone died from it. According to Larry Kramer, that puts me in the league of the lazy, uneducated gays of my generation by default (after he admonishes me for calling myself queer). However, I strive to be neither purposefully ignorant nor excessively fearful.

Columns, Ideas, Sexuality, Yes, Master »

Wax play, one of the most popular sports in the S&M list of possible activities, means to drip or pour melted wax on the submissive’s body. As you can imagine, it can be dangerous for both the Dom and the sub and requires extreme focus and care on the Dom’s end. But it’s also fun and easy when done properly.

Columns, Commentary, Ideas, Not Your Average Prom Queen »

I don’t consider myself to be overly PC or an extreme feminist. I am a little of both of those things, but mostly I am just educated, respectful and conscious of language of the power language wields.

I’m also not so forgiving of celebrities who use offensive language and follow with some sort of caveat about how their comments are ok because they support gay marriage ala The Millionaire Matchmaker’s Patti Stanger, or Kings of Leon’s quick decision to tell a gay man to get a manicure and buy a bra, followed with an “I’m sorry 4 anyone that misconstrued my comments as homophobic or misogynistic. I’m so not that kind of person” tweet.

Columns, Ideas, Not Your Average Prom Queen, Politics, Religion »

We’ve all been taught (in anecdote or in practice) that discussing religion, politics and baseball is a fast way to ruin friendships, or at least offend polite company. But, if this is true, then what do we talk about on a first date?

Favored sports teams might be a suitable topic that inspires playful rivalry (especially if one of you doesn’t really care about sports), but, to some, the religious and political beliefs of your potential mate are defining characteristics in the calculations of your potential for success.

Gender Identity, Ideas, Personal Narratives, Sexuality, The Adventures of the Boi Wonder »

Now, this not to say that all Orthodox kids are sheltered and completely aware of LGBTQ identities, because that’s certainly not true. Actually, my two best and most accepting friends on campus happens to be a straight, cisgender Orthodox guy and his girlfriend. Yet, on the whole, it hasn’t been a pretty picture. There are people who have known me for almost a year, have heard people refer to me as “he” or as a guy, but still call me “she” or include me in statements such as “we have x number of girls right now”.

Columns, Ideas, Sexuality, Yes, Master »

What is BDSM? What isn’t BDSM? What rules do you have to follow in order to say “Yes, this is BDSM”? Does it have to involve leather or some kind of kink-wear? Does someone have to be bound or restrained in some capacity? Must it involve pain or simulated “punishment”?

Ideas, Politics »

Over the past two months there has been a rise in organized, often violent, resistance and riotous activity. The true cause is not something we can immediately identify and therefore should hesitate in pointing any fingers or instituting reactionary policy. The worst result of this displaced anger and frustration among the youth is perhaps an increased gap in any form of productive dialogue. In both the reactions abroad and at home the press releases and public statements sound more like chiding parents berating their children for misbehavior and punishing them by taking away their privileges, a grand “grounding” of a generation. Instead it might be more productive to explore the roots of this misbehavior or at the very least acknowledge that there is a growing chasm of disparity.

Rants »

When someone does or says something offensive, one thing that I never want to hear is that I should not be offended because they didn’t mean to be offensive.

There are roughly two sorts of offensiveness in this world: that which is intended and that which is unintended. In some ways the intentional offensiveness is easier to cope and contend with. If a person understands that what they do or say is offensive, even if they do it anyway, at least they are living in the same universe as you. They know that there are certain things that will push your buttons, and even though they have chosen to go ahead and push, they at least acknowledge that the buttons are there. It hurts to be the intended target of hurtful actions or words, but there is some degree of comfort in knowing that you’re starting from a common ground, and that you know where you stand with the offender.