“Join your favorite DC Rollergirls to cheer on the DC DemonCats and Scare Force One in the DCRG Championship Bout on Saturday, May 14 at 4 p.m.

The action will kick off with an expo bout between the Capital Offenders and the Cherry Blossom Bombshells.

$12/ adult $6/kids 6-11 Free/kids under 6
…
Half time show will feature DC Different Drummers and our National Anthem will be sung by Capital Hearings.

Join us after the bout for celebratory drinking at Kelly’s Irish Times! Drink specials to include $4 mixed drinks.

New to the DC Rollergirls? Here’s a brief DCRG Championship history:

For the first four seasons, the DCRG Championship Trophy has rested in the hands of either the DC DemonCats or Scare Force One.

Scare Force One owned the trophy for the first two seasons, but had to hand it over at the end of the third season. After several retirements at the end of Season 2, their mostly rookie team failed to qualify for the Championship Bout after falling to the Cherry Blossom Bombshells in an exciting, down-to-the-wire, double-overtime match. However, the DemonCats of Season 3 were on fire, and took the trophy home after an intense bout against the Bombshells in the DCRG Championship.

The Fright Attendants came back in Season 4 with intense training and a focus on strengthening their team, and made it back to the championships with just one regular-season loss to their name. But as hard Scare Force fought, they were not able to pry the trophy from the Cats’ claws, and the DemonCats matched the Fright Attendants’ championship-winning record.

Now it’s all on the line—who will emerge as three-time league champions? Season 5 has been a decisive one for Scare Force, as they’ve rolled through five regular-season bouts undefeated. But the DemonCats have kept the trophy for two seasons now, and are primed to defend it. Will Scare Force be able to continue their momentum into the Championship, or will the black cats cross their path once again?

There’s only one way to find out: Be at the Armory on May 14 to witness DC Rollergirls history in the making!

WHICH SIDE WILL YOU FIGHT FOR?”

https://www.facebook.com/#!/event.php?eid=215624231799432

Thus far, the 2010-2011 NBA season has been a lot of fun. The San Antonio Spurs (45-9) are playing the best basketball of all. For all the talk of sputtering, the LA Lakers (38-17) still have Kobe, Gasol and the best coach in NBA history. The Dallas Mavericks (38-16) are armed with an owner that will never shut up and have been slowed lately by an injury to power forward Dirk Nowitzki but will still make your life difficult. Kevin Durant of the Oklahoma City Thunder (34-19) will win an MVP award at some point, soon, in his NBA career but the Thunder don’t quite have the muscle to get to the Western Conference finals. They are still a terrible, awful, no-good-basketball team, but Blake Griffin of the LA Clippers (20-34) is just a wonder to watch. He’s a rookie and just physically bullies grown-ass men around on the floor for 44 minutes a game. And dunksimpressively—like these.

The Eastern Conference can’t match the depth of the West, but among the four best teams, Miami, Boston, Chicago and Orlando, there is plenty of intrigue and drama. The Boston Celtics (39-14) continue to roll along, like some sort of old stone that should crack/crumble/fall apart/stumble but just keeps rumbling. The recent shackling of the Lakers (in LA), the best record in the East, total domination of the Miami Heat (39-15) in the three games they’ve played…scary.

The Heat are an enigma, in many ways. Armed with two of the five best players in the game today in LeBron James and Dwyane Wade (and another top 15 in Chris Bosh), the Heat can’t figure it out. Oh, yes, they’ll dominate and toy with teams at time, but when the real competition comes in, they struggle. LeBron may be starting to realize he has to be ‘the man’ for the team to live up to all of its preseason hype and win a title, but good luck getting Wade to dish him the ball in crucial playoff situations. Bosh, for all his talent, is soft and gets pushed around by other bigs down in the post. A thin bench and injuries hamper the team, as does a seeming lack of killer instinct (yes, that matters in basketball). While LA (Lakers), San Antonio, Boston and Chicago have the talent and drive to win, the question must be asked: are the Heat in the same class of team? They do have the physical talent to beat any team any night, but that’s not enough.

The Yes-We-Also-Play-Basketball-In-Florida Orlando Magic (35-21) have been hampered by a December trade bringing in old favorite Hedo Türkoğlu, and gun-loving Gilbert Arenas for Vince Carter and other pieces. Dwight Howard is a treat to watch and the Magics are competitive, but this is a team that was in the Finals just two years ago. They are bad at free-throw shooting (69.6% in February), don’t seem to have a defensive identity nor enough jump shooters. Competitive is not good enough.

Which brings us to the total wild card of the NBA, a team that people thought was good coming into the season and expected to get better, but sit now with the third best record in the East, a budding super-star, a key player coming back from injury, a coach who actually knows what he’s doing and the want/desire/need to win. Yes, everyone – da Bulls are back. After wasting two years under hair-model strategically challenged Vinny Del Negro (now with the Clippers [good luck Blake! Enjoy that!]), the Bulls (36-16) are blessed with the best story in the NBA. The definition of ‘local boy done good,’ Rose is turning (more) heads with his play (like this posterizing dunk)*, his preseason ‘why can’t I be the MVP?’ comment and his ‘I don’t need LeBron’ attitude**. Rose will get MVP votes this year (LeBron is still the actual MVP, however) and is leading the Bulls to territory previously only explored by one who wore 23.

Rose isn’t alone on the Bulls. Again, now he has a coach in Tom Thibodeau who can actually teach defense (the weakest aspect of Rose’s game) and won’t simple ask for energy and effort on the floor. Negro’s problem was that during late-game timeouts, he would merely say over and over, “You really gotta try here and hustle out there.” Thibodeau will say, “When the clock starts, this player is going to go here and do this. We are going to go here and do that.” You know, actual game strategy.

Though spurned by Wade/Bosh/James in free agency, the Bulls did manage to secure the services of Carlos Boozer, a low-post presence the Bulls have missed ever since 1998. Boozer did miss a significant portion of the first quarter of the season with a broken hand, but the Bulls survived. Then after 9 games together with Boozer, Joakim Noah (center, emotional soul of the team) went out with a torn ligament in his hand. He’ll be back soon and the Bulls survived.

Missing their second and third best players for half the season and you’re still the third best team in the East? You’re still holding teams to the lowest amount of points per game in the league? You’re one of three teams that has yet to go on a three game losing streak? Oh, snap. Yes, Boston is the favorite and the Heat get the headlines, but they’re looking at Chicago. The Eastern Conference runs through the recently-less snowy Windy City.

Get ready, y’all. Derrick Rose finna blow you away.

*No, for realz. Go back and watch it again. And again. And again. DID YOU SEE THAT SHIT?!!!?!?!?!

**Damn right, you don’t need no LeBron!!!!!

I can talk sports anywhere and frequently do. On more than one occasion, football has come up, as have the Atlanta Falcons and Philadelphia Eagles. Michael Vick will be mentioned, but only about his performance on the field: his footwork, movement in the pocket, arm strength, accuracy and changes in game style from Atlanta to Philadelphia. Over the weekend, I was at one of Chicago’s finest establishments (which is to say, ‘gayest’) and I mentioned to a friend that Vick is the MVP of the NFC. I was overheard and immediately chastised for supporting, “that sick fuck” who “should still be in jail” as this particular individual “hate[s] him, because he’s a scum bag.”

I tried, so very, very hard, dear readers, to let it go. I tried to ignore the comments of the ignorant and the self-righteous and continue to enjoy the La Roux/Whitney Houston/Taylor Swift/Robyn mash-up pumping through the club speakers and my Jack/Coke drink. But I am a weak man, and my competitive ire was up. My opponent was no match for my skills. I was wearing my traditional Chicago White Sox cap (broke waaaay off the left, for the sake of ‘keeping it real), was fresh off a work out and in jeans that allowed blood to flow into and out of my legs. He was wearing a v-neck cut far too low for Chicago January, with fur Ugg boots, jeans that looked so tight they must have been painted on and a mohawk that was half gold-blond, half jet-black.

I was willing to give the benefit of the doubt and not judge him solely by appearance. After all, that would be unfair. So the numbers test was necessary.

Me: “Don’t get me wrong, what he [Vick] did was despicable, but the guy had well-over $100 million dollars taken from him. His entire life was turned upside down by an admittedly evil thing. But he’s paid his debt to society, doesn’t he deserve another chance?”

Him:“NO! He should have done to him exactly what he did to those poor dogs. What a sick fuck.”

“Wait, so having two years of your life, the prime of your life, taken from you, being forced to spend the days and nights in a federal prison aren’t enough?”

“Do you have a dog? Are you saying what he did was okay? I can’t believe any team picked him up.”

“I’m saying that what he did was enough to warrant a federal conviction, the voiding of his contract with the Falcons, the total loss of endorsements, vilification by the American people and JAIL TIME. Of course what he did was awful and stomach turning. Yes, I have a dog. Certainly NFL teams picked him up, he’s a marvelous talent who could be had on the cheap. It would have been poor management not to take a flier on him. So, you don’t believe that his work for PETA, the speeches he gives regularly to schools and youth groups are genuine? You think he should still be punished?”

“He’s a sick fuck who should still be in prison. He’s why I won’t watch the NFL.”

“But you know nothing about what he’s actually done to restore his image or his actual game? You’re still going off of old news reports? You know there are dudes in the NFL who have killed people, right? Like, legit, ‘now you’re dead, OJ-style’ killed people…And what of his work for PETA?”

“I won’t support any NFL team as long as Vick plays.”

“So, you believe what he did was beyond redemption?”

“He electrocuted and tortured dogs!”

“Right, which is why he went to prison and lost all his money. What about his work for PETA, the countless interviews he’s done on television over the past year, most specifically the one on ABC?”

This continued for a while. Trying to bring actual numbers proved, ironically, fruitless. This was clearly a gentleman who knew nothing about the Xs and Os of football but wanted only to hate Vick. He isn’t the only one, I’ve had variations of this conversation before. Curious that no one ever seems to bring up Ben Roethlisberger as a counter-argument for athletes it’s okay to root for.

I admit that it isn’t easy to root for Michael Vick. I’m one of the few people who likes him more now that I did when he was with Atlanta before 2007. What he did was despicable, cruel and disgusting. But, he was found guilty in a court of law. He spent time in prison (I hear it was in the neighborhood of two years in a federal prison). He declared bankruptcy and lost his fortune. President Obama has forgiven him. There are plenty of villains and bad guys in professional sports. There are plenty of professional athletes who don’t deserve forgiveness and should be scorned and boo’d. Michael Vick is not one of those athletes. Not anymore. Don’t be like one of these reactionary queens at the bar. I’m not saying he should be your favorite player, or that you should root for the Eagles. Michael Vick has, however, paid his debt to society and deserves a second chance.

Photo by Paul Cutler, Bears v. Packers October 2007; courtesy Wikimedia Commons

I am writing this week during the Biggest Game Ever, Bears vs. Packers for the NFC Championship Game from Solider Field in Chicago, Illinois. Also known as the Greatest Place On Earth (but only if the Bears win). As of 1:38 pm Central Time Sunday, I predict the Bears win 21-17. Go Bears!!!

2:01 pm: An amazing rendition of ‘The Star Spangled Banner’ by Jim Cornelison to start the game.

2:06: Packers win the toss, Bears kick-off. Packers start at the 16. Great field position for Bears D.

2:07: Two throws, 2 catches, over 40 yards by Aaron Rodgers and Jennings. Bears secondary looks, after 3 plays, weak. Unacceptable.

2:10: Rodgers just put it to the Bears, taking the ball all the way to the 1 yard line. Bears D looks anything but Bears-like. For all the prognostications of a close game, watch this be a total offensive shootout.

2:11: Rodgers outsmarts the whole Bears D, runs in for a TD. 7-0 Green Bay.

2:18: Jay Cutler (Cutie Extrodinare) avoids the GB pressure, dumps a nice little pass to Matt Forte for Bears first down.

2:20: Bears offense misses a huge opportunity to score. Defense *must* step up and stop Green Bay or this game could get out of hand very, very quickly.

2:27: Now THAT’S more like it. Julius Peppers (Bears defensive end) gets all up after the Packers, makes life difficult for Rodgers. GB lineman Clifton out with stinger (a head injury that’s slightly less than a concision). Could have big impact later on (matchups matter). Bears D makes a much needed stop.

2:32: Cutler sacked, Bears o-line unable to perform basic requirement of job (blocking). Good Christ.

2:37: Big Brian Urlacher sacks Rodgers. Bears offense HAS to step up here. Bears must score on this possession, if only for their own mental sake.

2:46: Oops, well, no. Bears o-line continues to look like their o-line of the first 4 weeks, which is to say puny. Consistently pushed around by Packers d. Time of possession differential between two teams is stark: 10 minutes for Packers, barely over 5 for Bears. #knockthatshitoff

2:50: Packers just march down field again for another touchdown. Bears look over-matched, tired and old. 14-0 Packers. This football game may already be over.

3:01: Incredibly stupid holding penalty on Bears Chester Taylor negates a first down throw. Bears look totally lost and confused on the field.

3:12: Bears can’t even come close to moving the football, but Matt Forte finally gets a hole and goes on a 13 yard run.

3:20: Barring a miracle second half, this game is over. Bears unable to generate any defensive pressure, unable to move the football offensively. Special teams are uninspiring.

3:22: Oh ho! An interception by Lance Briggs, Bears get the ball at their 43.

3:23: Yup, that was fast. Cutler turns the ball *right* back over to the Packers, getting intercepted at the 1. AT THE FREAKIN’ ONE YARD LINE. ONE. YARD. LINE.

Halftime 3:29 pm: Bears have serious adjustments to make in the locker room. Score is still only 14-0, but it feels like a much larger deficit. Packers have done everything right (but I still hate them), don’t need to make any changes.

3:41: Good way to start for the Bears – Devin Hester with a 24 yard return. Murmurs persist of a Cutler injury which would absolutely END any Bears shot to come back in this game.

3:46: Well, another 3 and out by the Bears. So, Hester goes to waste.

3:52: Phantom pass-interference call on Bears gives Packers first down inside the 5. Cutler looks done playing on Bears sidelines. If he is out for backup Caleb Hanie, this game is over, and the Bears organization humiliates itself by presenting the League Halas trophy to the hated Packers. In Chicago.

3:52:30: HUGE interception by BRIAN URLACHER. It’s not Cutler coming off the sidelines, it’s Todd Collins to QB(so Bears fans, think ‘Uh-oh’).

3:57: Alright. I’m still watching and still recording my thoughts, for some reason. But this game is over. No Cutler. No ability to move the ball offensively (save for an Urlacher interception). No defense. No special teams. Bears are done.

4:18: No change. In anything. ‘Cept now the trash-talking friends come out of the works. Haven’t heard from some of these people in a loooong time.

4:29: Ho-ho!!! Third QB’s the charm, as Caleb Hanie takes the Bears down field and Bears score. 14-7 GB. GO BEARS!

4:33: COMPLETE BULLSHIT helmet to helmet call by the officials in favor of the Packers. Absolute bullshit. Packers getting clocks cleaned now, and a gift first down.

4:35: The officials now seemed determined to give the Packers a shot with phantom pass-interference calls. Second one of the day gives GB another first down.

4:37: This is much, much more like the game I was expecting. Bears D has come around, stopping Rodgers and the Packers. If Hanie can now lead the Bears down the field and score…

4:42: ANOTHER 3-out by the Bears. Terrible, terrible, very bad, no good football by them, wonderful, wonderful, very skillful, good football by Green Bay.

4:46: Bears force 3 and out on Packers. One good run by the offense can tie the game. #excitementbuilds

4:52: BJ Raji intercepts Caleb Hanie, returns it for a touchdown. This football game is over. GB 21 Chi 7.

4:55: I hate them with the entirety of my soul (well, almost. They still aren’t the Twins). But congrats to the Green Bay Packers. They overcame injuries and their own stupidity to make it to the Super Bowl. Hats off. Now, Pittsburgh, go kick their ass.

4:55:30: Earl Bennett scores on a Hanie throw, GB 21 Chi 14.

5:01: Where was this Bears D in the first quarter? Force a 3 and out, and there’s still a lil’ glimmer of hope in Chicago…

5:04: Nope, not a glimmer. No protection (hm, I think I’ve typed that before) and the Bears are looking at another….wait, hang on…nope…Hanie THROWS to Tight End Greg Olsen and Bears get a first down…

5:05: Another complete screw job call on the Bears. Intentional grounding makes it 2nd and 20. Complete fabrication call.

5:07: Completely unrelated to football, I can’t tell if the Dodge commercial where Washington drives a Charger at the British soldiers is serious or a parody. If it’s serious, than it’s the worst commercial ever. If it’s satire, than it’s bloody brilliant.

5:12: Hmmm….could be a fabulously interesting finish.

5:13: Bears have 4 and 3 at the Packer 29. Must go for it.

5:14: Hanie intercepted. Game is now officially, 100 percent over. Worst day ever for the Chicago Bears. Thanks for reading through. Almost got the score right, just the wrong bloody teams.

Oh, it’s going to be some kick-ass, smash mouth, rivalry-intense football, but picking the team that will capture national interest will be hard. The Bears are the fourth most popular United States sports franchises around, according to a Nielsen study results released in September. The Chicago Bears and any team from New York is going to have an audience. The Steelers are an historic franchise. And well the Packers suck, but that’s not important right now.

Any pretense of objectivity with this column went out the window on Sunday. I’m a Bears fan (Daaaa Bearsss!), the Packers are coming to Chicago and the NFC Championship is on the line. I’ve got my Ditka sweater, Italian beef and deep dish pizza lined up.

It is virtually impossible to encompass the energy in Chicago right now. It seems like the entire city supports the Bears. This is the third largest city in America, with nearly three million people, according to the U.S. Census Bureau’s 2009 report. “Da Bears” have “da” potential to be really good this year. “Deir” biggest rival, “deir” historic rival is coming to Chicago or your living room television “dis” Sunday, 2 p.m. Central Standard Time- Okay, I promise I’m done with “da” SNL bit. A trip to the Super Bowl is on the line. This is the biggest sporting event Chicago has ever seen. Period.

Bigger than any Cubs/Sox game, bigger than the Bulls championships, bigger than the Stanely Cup, bigger than the 2005 World Series. This is the Bears and Packers.

The Packers were supposed to be here. Sports Illustrated predicted in September the team to make it to the Super Bowl. The Bears were not. Coming off a horrible 2009, this was a make-or-break year for Coach Lovie Smith and his staff. Well they certainly passed, thanks to defensive end Julius Peppers (that man is bad-ass), a healthy Brian Urlacher (also bad-ass) and a Jay Cutler who isn’t throwing as many touchdowns as interceptions.

Frankly the Packers are the better team. They as three point favorites makes perfect sense. But given the sheer dumb luck Da Bears have had this season (from the non-touchdown touchdown in Game 1, Cutler’s concussion only costing a game against the woebegone Panthers to an amazingly injury free roster) and the fact that Da Bears are talented (Peppers, Urlacher and Briggs are all Hall of Famers) means that, just possibly, the biggest sporting event ever in Chicago could just go the way of Chicago’s favorite team.

I wrote pretty much this *exact* same thing months ago when he did it.

But, I encourage everyone to read up.

It seems as though a writer at Yahoo Sports has picked up on the idea that LeBron did it the wrong way. And that he has tarnished his legacy. Take note of the third paragraph. Sound familiar?

:-)

Although said jokingly, it raises concerns about how the World Cup will transcend the cultural divide in a country with anti-homosexuality laws and a strict alcohol policy because of the Islamic religion.

“In football [soccer], we have no boundaries,” Blatter said at a press conference. “There should be no discrimination against any human beings.”

I, for one, am hoping that in the next twelve years, we will be able to see the easing or even the complete dismantlement of anti-gay laws in Qatar and other countries in the region. Blatter is optimistic about the choice of host country, in spite of the law.

“You may be ensured that any people we produce until 2022, and if they want to watch a match somewhere… I’m sure they will be admitted to such matches,” Blatter later said.

As a Bears fan, this hurts to post.

No, there is no punchline coming.

Despite shots from Justin Bieber about his hair, Tom Brady and the New England Patriots are the best team in football. Since entering the third quarter on Thanksgiving against the Detroit Lions, the Patriots have outscored their opponents 116 to 17. That’s three games, two really good opponents and total domination. Republicans-over-Obama domination.

One could delve further into the statistics about the Patriots offense and defense, but there is almost no need. The score itself enough argument and if anyone has watched the Patriots humiliate the Lions, demolish the Jets and dominate the Bears statistics are meaningless. The Patriots pass the eye test – and to resort to a cliche, this is a team on a mission. Peyton Manning and the Colts are bumbling along, the Packers are broken with Aaron Rogders woozy, I flat out do not believe in the New York Giants and Michael Vick is going alone with the Eagles. Everyone else who looks like a challenger (the Bears, Steelers, Jets and Ravens), the Patriots have already beaten.

Pretty cut and dry, if you ask me. A rarity in sports.

Looking forward, the 2011 American League pennant race should be one for the ages. Five teams look capable of winning 90+ games, with an additional five teams with the possibility of going on a playoff run. The New York Yankees, Boston Red Sox, Minnesota Twins, Chicago White Sox and Texas Rangers are at the top of the AL heap, with attention due to the Detroit Tigers, Tampa Bay Rays, Oakland Athletics, Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim and possibly even the Toronto Blue Jays. Here’s why:

• New York Yankees: Armed with the most fiscal resources of any club, the Yankees can just buy whatever they want. They did it in 2008, and their poised to do it again (for Cliff Lee and Carl Crawford). Oh, and they’ve won 27 other World Series titles.
• Boston Red Sox: Possibly the best front office in the game, and the Adrian Gonzalez trade shows why. They plan on extended Gonzalez for around Mark Teixeira money (8 years, $180 million). Gonzalez is worth it, rest assured. They traded three of their better prospects in the deal (according to much smarter baseball people than myself) and are yet going to be able to restock their minor league system in the June draft from compensatory draft picks they will receive for letting catcher Victor Martinez and third baseman Adrian Beltre was as free agents and sign with other teams.  The talent to make the deal, the money to pay the man to stay (through his prime), the ability to fulfill the minor league system to do the whole thing over again. AND they can still make a run at Carl Crawford (one of the two free agents I mentioned earlier).
• Minnesota Twins: Though the 95 wins were a bit high, the win total over 90 was not a surprise. This is a team that has always drafted and developed players well, continues to draft and develop well and will draft and develop well. They just have not always had the money to retain their talent when it hits the open market (Torii Hunter, Johan Santana, etc). Now they have money, what with the gorgeous Target Field). Scary thought.
• Chicago White Sox: Don’t sleep on this team. Yes, they only won 88 games last year, but they still had one of the best starting staffs in all of baseball. They just signed Adam Dunn to be the primary DH, their worst position in ’10. This cannot be overstated: Adam Dunn is exactly what this team was missing last year and once they resign Paul Konerko, this team is going to be very, very dangerous. Questions still exist around the bullpen, but the rotation, position players and bench are set. Look out.
• Texas Rangers: The league champs will be back. Whether or not they sign Cliff Lee, their drafting has allowed them (notice a theme here?) to put a wondrous group of young talent on the field. They need another starter, but with Elvis Andrews, League MVP Josh Hamilton and hard throwing Neftali Feliz, they’re right in the hunt.

Those five should be the best in the league, but they aren’t alone. With some luck, the following five will be right with them, or at least give them enough headaches during the year to make the summer sizzle.  Though only one of these teams even came close to the playoffs in 2010 (the Rays), here’s why each is going to have fun in 2011:

• Detroit Tigers: Anytime you have an MVP-caliber player at first base and a potential Cy Young in the rotation, you’re going to be okay. When you add in an All-Star like Victor Martinez with Miguel Cabrera and Justin Verlander, you’ve got a team that can (and will) give the White Sox/Twins headaches. The Tigers are probably looking at only 86-88 wins, but some of those are going to come against division foes. They’re in the mix, but the rest of the rotation has to step up.
• Tampa Bay Rays: Winning two of the last three AL East titles on a shoestring budget means you know what you’re doing. Losing Carl Crawford (probably to division rival New York or Boston) will hurt, but the farm system is stacked and they can free up some payroll by dealing either starter James Shields or Matt Garza.
• Oakland Athletics: The stingiest pitching staff in all of the American League last year, the question about the A’s will be if they can hit enough to win. They tried to get Adam Dunn and have been linked to Adrian Beltre, but moved on after hearing nothing. Huge home park makes scoring all the more difficult, but they’ve done more with less for a long time.
• Los Angeles Angels: Though these last two will need a bit more luck and roster movement to make the playoffs, they’re in the picture. It’s sort of hard to bet against an organization in the Angels that has missed the playoffs only twice since 2002, boasts of a rotation with Jered Weaver and Dan Haren (the classic not hot/hot combination) and Mike Scioscia as manager.
• Toronto Blue Jays: You have to feel for the Blue Jays. No way they will ever be able to spend what the Yanks and Sawx (different from the Sooox) do, and it’d take a substantial effort to be what the Rays are. The ray of light, however, is that their pitching staff does something you need to succeed: make people swing the bats. The Jays strikeout a ton of opposing batters, and if they can make a deal for disgruntled Royals ace Zack Grienke, then maybe, just maybe, they can give someone a run in the East. Going to take a lot of luck though.

So please, please, please (!) February, get here. I need my pitchers and catchers to report.

Lana Lawless, despite what you might think, is not a comic book vigilante.

However, in 2008 she did win the women’s world championship in long-drive (golf for those of you who don’t know). Afterwords, the LPGA changed its constitution in order to prevent her from defending her title. You see, Ms Lawless is a trans woman and thus obviously had some kind of super power that gives her an advantage over her competition – even though she had bottom surgery and been on hormone replacement therapy for years. These qualifications are good enough for the International Olympic Committee, but not for the LPGA.

With a clear case of discrimination on her hands, Lana Lawless took her case to the courts. And the LGPA voted to rescind its policy against trans women.

In an interview with the New York Times she made an excellent point regarding her gender appropriate birth certificate. “It doesn’t say ‘female-ish.’ There is no such thing as born female. Either you’re female, or you’re not.”  The real issue here though, is how invested some institutions are in ascertaining a person’s “true” gender – ie the one that makes for a convenient excuse to decide if they get access to the tree house. Remember Castor Semenya and everything she had to go through just to prove that she was female enough to have “fairly” won the competition? I could be wrong since it has been a few years since I was competing as an All American athlete, but isn’t it usually the case in sports that one competitor has some kind of advantage over another? Why does this difference in ability have to be attributed to genitalia.

Biology is not so simple as two chromosomes coming together to create the characteristics we have assigned to genders. Any kind of difference is not deviation from the script. It would be more accurate to say that two or more chromosomes start dancing together, add some purple, a dash of leftward movement, and the number five with the resulting goop being a kind of appearance. Yellow, up, and 9 makes something else.

Lana Lawless is not a super hero, even if her goop does happen to give her the ability to hit the hell out of a golf ball.

Es macht nichts. It DOESN’T matter.

That is what the European fans are telling Nadine Angerer in response to her coming out as bisexual in a recent interview with the German paper Die Zeit.

“I am very open about this, because I am of the opinion there are nice guys and nice women. Besides, I find it totally silly to have a general definition,” Angerer told the paper

For those of you who aren’t familiar with the pro footballer, 32 year old Angerer has helped her teams secure 94 caps and two Women’s World Cup wins, 2003 and 2007. With her track record, she looks to be a sure bet to win a 3rd in the 2011 games.

“I see no problem for me to come out of the closet,”  she said. “I do not know if you need a special kind of courage. I am someone who is generally opposed to stereotyped thinking. This is nothing new for me, so I can deal with the issue in a totally relaxed manner.”

While there may still be some fan back lash from her admission, made earlier this week,  no one can dispute her talents on the field. At the 2007 FIFA Women’s World Cup Angerer became the leading goalkeeper of the national team.  She did not concede a single goal during the entire tournament, setting a record for most consecutive minutes played without conceding a goal during World Cup play to 540 minutes. This included the now famous blocking of a penalty kick shot by Marta Vieira da Silva during the final against Brazil.

In addition to Angerer, other German players have recently been very outspoken on the topic of sexuality. Germany’s reserve goalkeeper Ursula Hull made no secret of her marriage to long time girlfriend Carina over the summer while Bayern Munich striker Mario Gomez told German magazine Bunte that being honest about their sexuality would improve gay players’ performance.

“They would play as if they had been liberated,” Gomez said to the magazine. “Being gay should no longer be a taboo topic.”

We asked by the German paper if she had anyone special in her life at the moment, Angerer replied,” That is not interesting to anyone.”

Just me and my fellow poor investors

Oh dear, we seem to be in another dreaded sports lull. Just as well, perhaps, as I can start to decorate for Christmas (no, seriously, my all Star Trek ornament tree is a hassle.)

The NBA and NHL are in full swing, the NFL just hit the halfway mark and yet I feel nothing. The entire NFL is just a blob. No one team stands out over any other. Sure, the Bears might have a better defense than I thought, but the Steelers looked awful the last two weeks and the Patriots vacillate between looking good and bad. The Jets keep winning….Here, look. If YOU can figure out the NFL, I’ll read YOUR columns.

I recently had a chance to go back to Ann Arbor, Michigan and attend a U of M football game (the outcome of which wasn’t pretty). I watched my wonderful Wolverines get their asses [rightly] kicked. Wisconsin, our Big Ten rival, beat us over, up and out of the stadium. I loved every minute of it. My seats amazing. After all, Ann Arbor has a great House in which to watch football. I was with two great friends. The weather was gorgeous. Someone had just introduced me to the Miley Cyrus/DMX “Party in the USA/Party Up” mashup (trust me, you’ll thank me). Life was good.

And it had little to do with sports (uh-oh, here he tries to do another ‘sports + emotion’ one). Well too bad, because that’s correct. The shared emotional experience of a large-scale sporting event is a fascinating study. Being part of a teaming mass of 110,000+ trying to will a group to success is….well, beyond words. It truly can only be felt, not described.

This is not just because I went to Michigan. These same things happen every Saturday across the country. Florida, Ohio, Texas, California, Oregon, Alabama, Georgia, New York…The cheering and love for one’s school team goes to every corner of the country. And it should. You should love your school, be proud of it. Be proud of the experiences you had there. I’m proud everyday to have been a part of not just Michigan, but the Big Ten.

Yes, I have made an irrational, illogical connection to an athletic and marketing conference. Just like my irrational emotional investment in three professional sports teams. But human beings make irrational emotional investments all the time, about any sort of subject: Animals,  games, trivialities, music, movies, theater.

Nothing is wrong with investing in things that in fact, give you no real return. It’s about respecting what other people like, continuing to like what you like, and always, no matter what, saying, “Go Blue.”

First to tie up some loose ends: no one watched this year’s World Series between the Texas Rangers and San Francisco Giants. Not even me, but that’s because I work at night. Congrats to the Giants (and the stoners who made the stadium smell like pot in Games 1 and 2 [citation: Jon Heymen’s twitter account]) on winning their first title in San Francisco.

Miami Heat is going to be a beast this year, winning over 60 games. I don’t know if they have enough to overtake Kobe and the Lakers, and they might not even have enough to overtake Boston in the Eastern Conference. But they’ll put a hurtin’ on bad teams with an explosive offense. Miami is top-heavy, which is problem for the team – there’s no better combination of three players anywhere in the NBA (DeWayne Wade, Chris Bosh and LeBron James) but the rest of the roster is, to be kind, lacking.
Back to football.

After eight weeks, the NFC conference (home to teams like the Chicago Bears, Green Bay Packers, New York Giants, Atlanta Falcons and Dallas Cowboys) has a total of zero dominant teams. Everyone has lost at least two games and beyond the box score, every team just has huge flaws. And I am not just using this as a shot at my Bears (who, I admit in the fullest: suck). Green Bay just plays stupid (they commit too many penalties), the Giants are too inconsistent, the Bears have no offensive line. Whatever flaw you want to find in the NFC, you can.

The AFC has a couple of teams that have faired a bit better, record-wise. The New York Jets, more specifically, but they’re a big puddle of middling overall, too. The Patriots got ripped by the Cleveland Browns yesterday, the Dolphins are on an up-and-down ride, the Browns themselves are better than their record but are not playoff material.

So, no one is any good and everyone is juuuuuuust now realizing that football is a violent game that ruins the bodies of those who play it in the long run. Really now….though I have been surprised by the sheer amount of damage these players do to themselves, let us dispense with the ideas of how to make football safer. The best way to do that? Stop playing the game. It’s a violent, contact sport. You aren’t going to make it safe; people don’t watch it because it’s a safe game and there’s no feasible way to make it safe and keep it the same game. You can increase the size of the helmets worn, but the fact remains: helmets don’t keep your brain from getting bruised.

Allums is allowed to still compete in the Women’s division because he hasn’t undergone any hormone treatments yet.

“Yes, I am a male on a female team,” Allums told USA Today. “And I want to be clear about this. I am a transgender male, which means feelings-wise, how it feels on the inside, I feel as if I should have been born male with male parts.”

The university, on and off the court, has been extremely supportive in Allums’ decision, including Mike Bozeman, the Women’s Basketball Head Coach, and Robert Chernak, Senior Vice Provost and Senior Vice President for Student Academic and Support Services, who both released statements on the school’s sports website.

“I didn’t choose to be born in this body and feel the way I do,” Allums said in a released statement. “I decided to transition, that is change my name and pronouns because it bothered me to hide who I am, and I am trying to help myself and others to be who they are.”

Next season, when Allums eligibility is up, he will begin thinking about taking hormones and starting the physical transition to a man.

“My teammates have embraced me as the big brother of the team,” Allums said. “They have been my family, and I love them all.”

Robinson has 1,913 yards of total offense, consisting of 905 rushing yards and 1,008 passing yards (that means that he’s run the ball for 905 yards and thrown it for the other 1,008). That is more rushing yards than all but 29 other teams. Denard Robinson is, without doubt, the favorite for the Heisman Trophy in 2010.

Shoelace. In action. It's beautiful.

But all is not well in Ann Arbor (and I don’t just mean the silliness with the Assistant Attorney General). Denard is the ONLY reason Michigan is winning. In order for the Wolverines to continue this promising season (and first really good one since 2007), other players have to step up. Most specifically the defense, which was absolutely shredded by Indiana this past Saturday. IU quarterback Ben Chappell threw for 480 yards and combined with his favorite target Tandon Doss, to make the Michigan d look silly, lost, confused and sad.

Many who love the Maize and Blue are hoping that this season ends up differently than the last few (and bet that embattled Michigan coach Rich Rodriguez is one of them). 5-0 is a great start. But it, and ‘Shoelace’s’ brilliance will all go to waste if there is no blocking or tackling by the defense. This Saturday will be a much better test of both Robinson’s abilities and the Michigan coaching staff. Michigan State is a much better football team than Bowling Green, Connecticut, Indiana or Notre Dame.

Robinson, as legitimately fun as he is to watch, cannot be the first, second and last line of defense for the football hopes of college’s winningest program. Someone else has to help him out.

The MVP of the year is supposed to go to the best offensive player in either league. The guy the best all-around combination of numbers including batting average, on-base percentage, home runs, runs batted in, walks, wins-above-replacement and intangible aspects such as perceived clutch hitting (not what a guy hits, but when he hits it). None of the aforementioned names has the total package of both numbers and ‘clutchness’.

Miguel Cabrera (Miggy) is without doubt the best pure hitter of the bunch.  With a wOBA (weighted on base average, a better measurement of the ability to get on base than just pure OBP) of.431 and 6.0 Wins Above Replacement, Miggy is having a typical Miggy year. Unfortunately, he has been hampered by shoulder issues and plays for a non-contender in the Tigers. Call me a snob, but MVP’s have to  or should, come from playoff teams, or teams that just miss the playoffs.

Josh Hamilton actually leads the majors in WAR with 8.0, but like Cabrera, has lost playing time due to injury. Though he passes the numbers and arbitrary ‘play for a contender’ rule, the best players in the league also manage to stay healthy for the entire season. No one on Chicago’s south side (or even clear-headed Cubs fans where you find them) will argue that Carlos Quentin was the AL MVP in 2008… until he broke his own hand at the start of September. Hamilton is  a fine outfielder, a wonderful story of overcoming addiction (when he stays away from hosbags with whip-cream) and a threat in any lineup. But MVP’s play the whole season.

This brings us to Robinson Cano and Paul Konerko. Robinson Cano has moved up in the Yankee lineup to cover for an ailing A-Rod (must be nice to be ‘ailing’ and still have over 100 RBI’s). Cano is currently hitting .324 with 28 home runs while playing above average defense in the pressure cooker that is the Bronx, New York. His has been healthy and his team in contention, but his numbers, though good, aren’t enough. He has above average power for a second baseman, but not enough to warrant the MVP trophy.

This is the most difficult paragraph I have ever had to write. It hurts my arm and more importantly, hurts my soul. Give me a moment….(sniffle). Alright, here goes. The final contestant, Paul Konerko, is fully healthy, hitting the absolute hell out of the ball and has been the complete and total linchpin of a contending team. For the love of God, Paulie IS the reason the White Sox are a contender. He was the only one hitting the ball out of the park in April and May, when the White Sox were 22-33.  He’s second in the AL with 38 home runs, has 105 RBIs (on pace for a career high), a .324 average, .400 OBP and game wining hits. Paul Konerko, again, is the reason his team is a contender (or was, until mid-August). He’s the clubhouse leader, the most popular position player and one of the greatest players the White Sox have ever had. He’s the whole package, really. In addition, though this has nothing to do with the MVP race, Konerko is my favorite player. Ever.

He is having the best year of a very, very productive major league career at the age of 34 and the verge of free-agency. The White Sox have no choice but to resign him in the offseason and bring him back. He has had several game-winning home runs and hits this year. But Paul Konerko does not deserve the AL MVP. Excuse me for a moment, I have to go throw up.

The reason I believe Paul Konerko shouldn’t get the award is because of two plate appearances this year. Two lousy, measly plate appearances in a otherwise fantastic season. Two plate appearances out of some six hundred. Two at bats in a sport where the more at bats you have the better an idea of how good someone is. Both of these plate appearances took place in absolutely critical, must-win games for the White Sox. Both of these plate appearances were with the bases loaded, both with one out, both with the White Sox down by one run. Both of these appearances were against the Minnesota Twins, who once again are leading the AL central.

In both of these at bats, Konerko struck out. The White Sox lost both games, one of which was in Minneapolis, the other was in Chicago. Those are situations where MVP’s step up and deliver. The MVP’s team gets a run. Konerko failed to produce against his team’s biggest rival in the most important situation when all was at stake for his club. He is the one everyone connected with the White Sox, from GM Kenny Williams to Manager Ozzie Guillen to teammates to yours truly is expecting to deliver. Though ‘clutch’ is a bit of a nebulous concept, you know it when you see it even if you cannot really articulate it.

Those are the four guys having the best all around years in the AL. And not one of them is really suited for the MVP award. So maybe this year, there just shouldn’t be one. I would be okay with that.

Kenny Williams and Ozzie Guillen both have to be replaced in order for the White Sox to change their history. Now, I like Kenny Williams and like Ozzie, both have been mainstays for the White Sox over the past 10 years, both were largely responsible for the ’05 title and both are, like I said, the best that the Sox have ever had at their respective positions. But they both have to be fired.

With the failure of 2009 behind them, the 2010 White Sox set out to remake themselves into a more versatile ballclub. Out went Jermaine Dye, Jim Thome and Scott Podsednik. In came Juan Pierre, Mark Teahen and Andruw Jones. Bad was replaced with worse under a misguided notion that the White Sox were going to be a faster ballteam. Faster, yes. Better, no. The saga of the 2010 White Sox has been the feud between Kenny and Ozzie about one Jim Thome (or a larger disagreement about an everyday DH player).

Plain and simple: Ozzie was wrong about not wanting a slugger DH. Kenny was wrong to not put his footdown and force a DH on Ozzie.

Ozzie’s job is to make requests and talk to the GM. It’s the GM’s job to give the manager what he needs, even if that differs from what he wants.

The 2010 White Sox have, as of tonight, lost 15 one run games. 15 one run games. Too many nights (tonight’s game against the Tigers (Porcello vs. Jackson) being the perfect example).

Kenny’s model of trading for damaged players with something to prove (Quentin, Thome), fallen prospects (Floyd, Danks, Jenks, Teahen) or just plan old (Andruw Jones, Ken Griffey Jr, Juan Pierre) only works until August. And then it invariably goes to pot. I know, I know, I know everyone’s going to yell, “’05! ’08!” Well, in ’05 they did the exact same thing, pissed it all down their leg in August. It was only that the AL Central was so bad that year that the White Sox held the division lead. And 2008 is rather hollow, the fun of that season was beating the Twins in Game 163 (The Blackout). But you know what? Teams that suck play 163 games to determine division winners. Not good, World Series contending teams. Those teams (the Yankees, Rays, Red Sox, Rangers and usually Angels) all kick your ass in 162 games.

Also, Kenny’s last phenomenal trade was the Danks-for-McCarthy swap in 2007. The list since then (Jake Peavy, Nick Swisher [TWICE!!!!!], Mark Teahen)….bad.

Ozzie’s issues are well documented and need no further expounding here. The fundamental flaw in his baseball theory is that big, lumbering sluggers are bad. No, they are not. Get as many of them as you can, or at least have one.

Anyone who watched the MLBNetwork’s, “The Club” knows that at minimum, Kenny and Ozzie love the White Sox and love Jerry Reinsdorf. That’s fine. But you know what? I don’t want my GM and my Manager to love my team. That’s my job. I’m the one, as a fan, who loves them through and despite their glaring faults, weaknesses, ugly moments, stupidity, glory, pain, agony and ecstasy. That’s the fans job, not the job of those in charge of the organization.

Kenny and Ozzie deserve to be fired for their lack of foresight, inability to get along with each other, ignorance of the bounds of their job and (both of them) for their big mouths.

That pains me to say/type, because they are (in tandem and separately) the best GM, Manager and combination GM/Manager the Chicago White Sox have ever had.

Both the Cubs and White Sox are embarrassments, to themselves, to baseball, to their fans and to the city in which they play. The Cubs play in a dump and aren’t capable of winning, the White Sox are helmed by a foul-mouthed malcontent, run by an ego-maniac and aren’t capable of getting up to play their biggest rival. Sad, isn’t it?

Let us begin with a little history lesson. Since 1908, between two franchises, Chicago has won 3 World Series and been a participant in just 6. In a combined 204 years, they (I should say ‘we’) have three titles to show.  For the sixth time in eight years, the White Sox entered the month of August either in first place or near to it, only to forget how to play baseball and give the division over to the Minnesota Twins with little fight. The Cubs, as is their history, are out of contention completely. It’s hard to pick a direction to go from here, given the sheer totality of suckage that exists on both the North and South Sides.

The Cubs manager, Lou Pinella, just retired. As in this past Sunday, with games still to play. He cited a desire to be close to his dying mother, which is fine, but Pinella’s tenure as Cubs manager will be remembered as a failure given his 0-6 record in the playoffs.  Worse still is the fact that the Cubs are saddled with bad, over-bloated contracts (Alfonso Soriano, Carlos Zambrano, Ryan Dempster) thanks to GM Jim Hendry. New owner Tom Rickets doesn’t have the fiscal flexibility to spend like the Tribune Company. Though the Cubs do have minor league talent, they aren’t going to be ending their 100+ year championship drought in the next few years.

The White Sox are just a mess. Another year, another August collapse to the rival Twins (see: 2002, 2003, 2004 and 2006).  Ozzie Guillen refuses to acknowledge his own stupidity with regards to the construction of this year’s offensive roster and a previous team strength (the bullpen) is unable to get anyone out now. Though I used to like Ozzie, a lot, his comments last week in the wake of a game winning home run to ex-player Jim Thome have changed perceptions. It’s never a good idea to tell fans, ‘f*** you.’ Especially in a business where ticket sales (and more importantly, walk-up ticket sales) are the driving force of your revenue.

So, Ozzie gets to continue the misperception that all White Sox fans are classless rubes who can do nothing but curse while the Cubs stroll along as the Love-able Losers. Chicago, this is your baseball.

So every summer the past four years I put my indie/punk-music snobbery on hold to appreciate an entirely different musical experience that vastly outweighs any rock concert I’ve ever attended in the most quaint way possible: this, of course, is the Drum Corps International World Class Championships in Indianapolis, Indiana.

I know what you’re thinking, and no, Drum & Bugle Corps is not marching band. In fact I’ll refuse to repeat those two unsightly words again in this article to prevent any embarrassing college football half-time show comparisons. The Drum Corps International World Class Division actually consists of twenty-three extremely competitive and talented corps (remember, they’re “corps,” not “bands”). Starting in June, corps flee their home base and begin a summer of touring. They sleep on hard gymnasium floors and shower in scummy high school locker rooms; they travel via cramped tour buses; they practice for hours every day in sometimes 90+ degree heat; they overcome sprains, blisters, physical exhaustion, and other injuries alike, but almost every night, they pull off eleven minute shows legitimately deserving of multiple standing ovations.

Now onto the monetary compensation part that…well…doesn’t even exist. Members of top corps sometimes shell out up to $3,000 to join. If the sheer action of paying to work your ass off all summer sounds crazy, then you need to experience this event in-person. No—watching broadcasted competitions on PBS or ESPN don’t count—that’s cheating—I think there’s simply too much happening on the field to fully document a corps experience via video.

The top World Class corps’ shows actually play out more like competitive musicals or operas, as there’s always a story or a theme conveyed with a combination of music and sports-like athletic movement. Actually if you remember the musical “Blast!,” that was the theatrical equivalent of Drum Corps (“Blast!” was created by the directors of a major corps). Horns, drums, color guard, auxiliary percussion, props, makeup, sound effects, dancing, and occasionally some electronics round out each performance, so you never really know what to expect with each show.

It’s often not a talked-about subject at Drum Corps championships, but with Music Performance and Music Education statistically being a top college degree among many college-age queer students, one can safely assume that this event is incredibly LGBT-friendly, both in its memberships and its audience. I actually don’t know any other event where so many gays, lesbians, sgrandmas, conservative dads, band geeks, jocks, young children, and foreigners alike all respectfully co-exist and celebrate the art of music to such a high degree.

This year during the World Class Championships from August 12-14, some of the best corps like the Cavaliers, Madison Scouts, Cadets, Santa Clara Vanguard, and Phantom Regiment put on shows that hit my emotional core much more than any tear-jerking film or recent reunion concert by [insert any recently reunited 90’s band here].

Drum Corps is also a headache of frustration for me every year. Why is every young music dork, queer theater teen, or hipster know-it-all out there not aware of this?! This is practically a sporting event for those who hate sports but love music—and that sounds perfect! I never even knew about this until the age of twenty-two (the year I could no longer join due to my age—great!).

I’m tired of explaining to friends why I drive over six hours to Indianapolis every summer to watch a bunch of people march on a football field. Word needs to get out about this, as so many more people can benefit by cheering in the crowds alongside other corps fans…trust me, For now though, it seems I’ll just have to wait until next year…

But this honestly isn’t an A-Rod rant column. He gets enough of it from much larger publications. This is about Albert Pujols, first baseman for the St. Louis Cardinals. A regular in the hitting-reel highlights since his debut in 2001, Pujols is considered the best player in Major League Baseball, in the prime of an historic, once in a lifetime baseball career. Unfortunately for Albert, he made his debut in the middle of the Steroid Era (aka the Budd Selig Era) where former nobodies were all having careers of a lifetime. Barry Bonds, Sammy Sosa, Rafael Palmaro, Roger Clemens and Mark McGwire had screwed it all up by using drugs to accelerate their pursuit of eye-popping numbers. Nomar Garciappara hitting .370 as a shortstop in 2000. Barry Bonds 73 home runs in 2001? Sammy Sosa hitting 60 home runs….three seasons in  a row. My feelings on steroids and baseball are no secret but this is, I promise about Albert Pujols.

Baseball needs Pujols to be clean of the drugs. I need Pujols to be clean of the drugs. Because he’s so good. Pujols is the Hank Greenberg of the 2000s, friendly and killer on the field. Pujols does extensive charity work in St. Louis and around the country for Down Syndrome, which his daughter has.  He’s plastered on Wheaties Boxes and Gatorade bottles. To a very real degree, Pujols is baseball.

Because of that, Pujols has to be clean. His soon to be 400 home runs (current 396), his career 877 walks to 622 strikeouts must be all natural. Every single one of his 77.9 Wins Above Replacement must not be a science project result.  Pujols has to be clean because he is proof that baseball is still the game that has been passed down from one generation to the next. Baseball has historical ties to the United States that other sports don’t – truly the American relationship with baseball is unlike anything else in the world.

Pujols must be clean. He can’t be another roided-up monster. He just can’t be…

There are several issues at stake with LeBron James joining Dwayne Wade and Chris Bosh on the Miami Heat last Thursday night. First is the pure basketball dynamic of the whole episode. I don’t begrudge James’ decision to leave Cleveland and go play with two good friends in Miami. From a pure sporting perspective, the move is brilliant. The Miami Heat should win titles (plural) and quickly. They are, on paper, the best team of basketball players on the face of the planet. Kobe Bryant and the Lakers have a very tough challenge awaiting them. LeBron needs to win a ring, for his marketing brand, his own ego and for his basketball resume.

I was appalled by how James explained his actions. Even I felt bad for Cleveland fans, who desperately wanted James to stay, as he was the sole bright spot for that city. He was Cleveland’s best hope to win a title, finally. “Now I don’t have to score 30 points a night or shoot a high percentage,” James said in his self-aggrandizing hour long “special” on ESPN. In doing so, James revealed himself to be an on-the-court coward.

If LeBron wanted to be considered the greatest basketball player to walk the face of the earth, he never would have said that. Magic Johnson, Michael Jordan, Larry Bird, Kobe Bryant, all the greats have a killer instinct. They want to beat you into the ground. They want the ball in the big situations. The want to crush you and make you like it. They want the last shot. James revealed himself not to want any of that. He wants a ring, but isn’t willing to put the effort into getting the ring.

So, I’ve lost my respect for James’ as a competitor. He’s not one of the greats. More physical talent than perhaps anyone, but not the greatest player. He also described the whole free-agent process as ‘humbling.’ What? What?! You had the New York Knicks, Miami Heat, New Jersey Nets, Los Angeles Clippers and Chicago Bulls tying themselves in knots trying to court you to play for them, paying you millions and millions and millions of dollars in the process. Millions of people were waiting on your every word, and this whole process was ‘humbling?!’

James is either unaware what humbling actually means or is a liar. I doubt he misspoke. Maybe he believes it was humbling having teams begging you to play for them. Either way, he took the easy way out and shat on his hometown doing so.  He humiliated people who have worshipped him for no real reason. I don’t blame Cavs fans for burning his jersey. But Jesse Jackson needs to shut up. Racism has nothing to do with this process, and kudos to Jason Whitlock of Foxsports.com for his column on the subject. But James’ narcissism, immaturity and lack of basketball cohunes do.

I have always had mixed feelings about the whole celebration known as Pride. Though outwardly presented as a celebration of whom we as a community are, the fact that gays need no longer live a closeted life, Pride is not that nice. The overwhelming majority of Pride sponsors seem to be alcohol-related. The historic relationship between the gay community and alcohol (as a coping mechanism) is troubling and still incredibly relevant.

Cue the Fratellis, "Chelsea Dagger" please.

Pride, it seems, has become an excuse for people to get appallingly drunk and act in totally inappropriate ways, be it in dress or action.  I’m not just referring to the un-ironic mulleted, vuvuzela blowing jerk I encountered, either. The Parade has seemingly descended from an expression of, “We’re here, we’re queer, get used to it” to, “We’re here, we’re drunk, we’re determined to act a fool.” No longer the expression of self, the crowd, overstuffed with booze, tries to out-crass one another.

You can't see the vuvzela, but trust me, it was there too.

All of which is why I was so happy to see not only the Stanley Cup, but the crowd’s reaction to it. I was even happier to learn the reason for the Cup’s participation in Drunkfest 2010. The Toronto Maple Leafs General Manager, Brian Burke, lost his son Brandon, in a car accident in February of this year. Brandon had recently come out in November of 2009. The Blackhawks and the NHL were acting with class and reaching out to a group of people who usually couldn’t care less about sports.

And the Cup got the loudest cheer of the whole parade. Sustained applause by hundreds of thousands of Chicagoans (and quite a few out of towners as well). I do not know where the line is between those in the crowd who knew about the Brandon Burke and those who just cheered for a  championship team, but I would like to think the former outweighs the latter. But seriously, for Pride 2011, let’s cut down on the sheer amount of booze, huh? Go Blackhawks.

Baseball has finally moved beyond the entertaining (if pointless) inter-league play period. Started as a gimmick to lure crowds back in the post-1994 labor strike period, Inter-league play is the brainchild of current Commissioner Bud Selig (who I strenuously dislike) [future column alert!] and allows for teams from the American and National Leagues to play each other. The idea being that teams would get to see interesting match-ups like the New York Yankees and San Francisco Giants. And there would be the natural payoff to already established geographic rivalries (both New York, Chicago and Los Angeles teams, Houston vs. Arlington, Florida).

The problem is that outside of Yankees v. Mets and Cubs v. White Sox, no one really cares about inter-league play. Not the players, not the managers, and really not even the fans. Oh! It’s the Blue Jays playing three in San Diego! You know how rough Padres fans can be! How about the Atlanta Braves hosting the Minnesota Twins?

One of two interesting inter-league matchups.

How about not? The beauty of the World Series was (and still is) getting to see the best of the other league for the first time.  The All-Star Game was, until 1995, the first time fans of a National League team could finally SEE those American League mashers. Well, it’s not the 1950s anymore. That mystique and mystery is all gone now, what with the Internet and fantasy baseball. Anyone who is a baseball fan knows everyone who is a baseball star.

Rejoice, Washington Nationals fans: Steven Strasburg is THE REAL DEAL. The best way I can quantify his stuff on the mound (what he is able to throw) is with a simple: OH MY GOD. He’s average (AVERAGE!!!!!) fastball in 98 miles an hour. His AVERAGE change up is 92 miles an hour. HE HAS YET TO WALK MORE THAN 5 BATTERS, and has struck out 32. That is totally unprecedented in baseball history. As long as he doesn’t get hurt, Strasburg will be a must see in DC for a long time.

The NBA finals are over and I was half right. Though LeBron did not win a title, not even close, Kobe did. Inch by inch, Kobe is getting closer and closer to Michael Jordan in both ring number and over all career numbers. Hell, Kobe has modeled his physical game, personal mannerisms and competitive nature after MJ. People in Chicago will scream, holler and curse, but Kobe is on the short list for Greatest Player of All Time.

However Kobe is again getting over shadowed by the fact that the greatest free agent class in NBA history is about to open up. LeBron James, DeWayne Wade, Dirk Nowitzki, Chris Bosh and Amarie Stadimire are just some of the players up for grabs and their signings can radically alter the balance of power in the NBA. James and Wade, along with Kobe, constitute the three best individual players on the planet. Kobe isn’t ever going to leave LA, and the odds are far against Wade leaving Miami. James…..there is a large possibility he leaves Cleveland. Though the Cavs can pay him some $30 million more than any other franchise, he wants more than anything to win the NBA championship. The best place to do that is Chicago (best combination of ready available talent and major media market). The Knickerbackers of New York don’t have anyone for James to play with, and winning a title in Chicago will make you more money than not winning in New York.

Best guess: 60 percent chance James stays in Cleveland, 40% he leave for DA BULLS (in which case, I’m running around naked for a week).

Speaking of LeBron and Cleveland: Hey, are you really all that in secure in Cleveland? Really? This is pathetic.

NASCAR: I get the appeal of racing to the racer, but not to the fan. As fast as those guys are going, in those cars with zero power steering, it is no wonder those guys in DRIVING the car are all sweaty and hot (and so are the drivers). Even the most mystifying of popular American sports is suffering in this economy.

Back to baseball a moment: the Rays are for real, the Red Sox have returned from being awful, the Yankees are the Yankees. Joe Mauer and his fellow Twins think their new Target Field is too big, but I love that they hate it. Anything the Twins hate, I love. But I’m a White Sox fan like that.
Soccer: Yes, the USA got totally and completely screwed in their game against Slovenia, but really now, can we in the US stop pretending like we care about soccer? I’m not just making this up, but Americans care about NFL football, MLB baseball, NBA football and little else (this includes NHL hockey, even though I love love love that the Blackhawks dominated to win Lord Stanely’s Cup this year). ESPN MUST stop force feeding us World Cup soccer. I know the rest of the world loves it, and that’s fine. I have nothing against soccer at all. It’s a wonderful game to play and keeps you in spectacular shape. I hate things being overhyped. When it comes to the World Cup and the United States population, there is far, far far too much hype.

Peace and love people.

A derivative of the English game of rounders, baseball also has an obvious evolution: It’s fun to try and hit a ball (or rocks) with a bat (or sticks). It is instinctive to the human species. Cricket is more a relative than a predecessor to the game. From the early days of the game when there were no home runs, to the Babe Ruth Era, the transitions teams underwent in the 1930s (when the A’s were in Philadelphia and the Dodgers still in New York), the mound moving in the 1970s to the Steroid Era from which baseball is just now starting to possibly, potentially leave behind (due to the nature of performance-enhancing drugs), baseball is on the precipice of another revolution: the Numbers Revolution.

Bill James, in 1977, got tired of what he deemed a simplistic way of statistically analyzing the game of baseball. Batting average, home runs, walks and runs-batted-in (RBIs) weren’t enough. James proceeded to create, with the help of others, a completely new set of statistics, measurements and metrics to determine what made a player good, great and a baseball god. Soon, on-base-percentage (OBP), slugging-percentage, Field Independent Pitching, Expected Fielding Independent Pitching, Universal Zone Rating and Wins Above Replacement became not only numbers nerdy kids (who loved baseball but where never any good at hitting) loved, but were tools used by the general managers to construct major league rosters.

Nowadays, entire front office staffs are devoted to pouring over statistical data from years of high school and college players trying to figure out whom to draft when and in what round. Now, baseball drafting, because of the sheer number of players involved (indeed, the annual baseball draft in June has well over 150 rounds) is a crapshoot. But teams that devote themselves to drafting and developing (Tampa, St. Louis, Boston, Minnesota, Los Angeles—both squads) tend to do quite well with their on-field product.

The battle I referred to earlier is the fact that there are still those, mostly older generation play-by-play guys, managers and former players, who discount what sabermetrics say about a player. They still rely purely on what their eyes tell them about a player while scouting, a subjective analysis, instead of the objective numbers. While it is true that numbers are incapable of telling you everything about a player, they are still better than a scout who says, “He’s got a plus curveball. He’s clutch,” and other tired clichés.

Clutch, statistically speaking, is a myth. At least in baseball. Yes, some players seem to perform better in high-pressure situations than others, but that is largely a result of sample size. Quite simply, some good players (like Derek Jeter) have had many more opportunities than other, better players (like Alex Rodriguez) to perform on the Big Stage. Given equal at-bats in the same situations, The Captain will put up the same career averages he always does, numbers that are less than those A-Rod would produce.

Baseball is a great game. It allows for the nerd, the jock, the poser, the homo-lover and all others to come together and enjoy whatever aspect of the game they want. It has been the game the United States has played most often, and for the longest time. Despite its global growth, baseball is, and always will be, America’s game. A game undergoing change, but change to tradition is a good thing.

Football is the most popular sport in this country, and really has been ever since Major League Baseball went on strike in 1994, canceling the playoffs and World Series that year. American football has no set start date, the game evolved from the European game of rugby (which is a tougher game than football. Those guys don’t wear pads, and some of them don’t even wear cups). Walter Camp is considered to be the father of the American game having introduced the concepts of line of scrimmage and down-and-distance rules. Throughout the first half of the twentieth century, college football was more popular than the professional game, which got its start in 1892 in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

The most important position player on the field is the quarterback. Without a good quarterback, you can’t move the ball down or really score points effectively. While a good running back helps, the best way to move the ball is by throwing it for dozens of yards at a time. Now, since the job of the offensive line is to keep the quarterback alive and not let the opposing defensive line come in and kill the qb, a good offensive line will make an okay qb look better and a good qb great and a great qb a Hall of Famer. On the other side of the ball, you have to have a defensive line and safeties that can get through the opposing line and kill the quarterback (it’s funny how being good at everything makes a team good).

Football is a game that undergoes rule changes virtually every year (between the ‘08 and ‘09 season, for example, the distinction between two different types of facemask penalties was eliminated), but the basic rules stay the same. Score 6 points by scoring a touchdown (putting the ball into the opponent’s end zone) by running or passing, with the opportunity for an extra point after wards. You have 4 downs to move the ball 10 yards for a fresh set of downs. The team with the most points wins.

Pretty simple, right? Well, yes, but the strategy that has evolved from the game is pretty complex. Credit must be given where credit is due, and the offensive and defensive play schemes developed by coaches like Bill Belichick (New England Patriots head coach) and Mike Martz (Chicago Bears offensive coordinator) are impressive (at least, as a Bears fan, I hope Martz is impressive). Routes run by wide receivers, changes made on the fly, the micro-seconds you have to make a decision and get the ball to an exact spot at the exact right time, combined with the sheer overwhelming pounding the players all take make the game exhilarating; as long as your team is winning.