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About Jeremy Gloff

Columnist
jeremygloff@thenewgay.net


Jeremy Gloff is an independent musician and writer residing in Tampa, Florida. He was selected as one of the Top 10 Best Local Music Artists of 2011 by Tampa Bay Times and has been featured on Showtime's "Penn And Teller: Bullshit". Jeremy is the controversial columnist of "Cynical and Southern" on TheNewGay.net. THIS, Jeremy Gloff's 17th album will be released on Crunks Not Dead Records on Monday, May 9, 2011. More Gloff at www.jeremygloff.com

Recent Posts by Jeremy Gloff:

Culture, Cynical And Southern, Music »

[22 Aug 2011 | One Comment | ]
Don’t Share Your Music With Me On The First Date

Music is a very personal thing to me. My deepest secrets are locked away in the songs I love the most. Everything I have ever cried about is held prisoner within the lyrics of a deep album cut by one of my all-time favorite artists. As the pages turn on my mental flipbook, each significant event is coupled with a song.

Because of the deep connection I feel with the music I love it takes me a very long time to want to share these songs with a boyfriend. I am only able to put a song that broke my heart on display if it’s someone I plan to be with for a long time. Someone who has already glimpsed into my canyons and valleys. Someone that has stuck around long enough in my sunlight that they’ve grown familiar with my shadows, too.

Cynical And Southern, Music, Personal Narratives »

[18 Aug 2011 | One Comment | ]
Our Queer Voices United And Rocked Easton Mountain

I arrived at Easton Mountain a stranger and went home a member of a strong and vital family. I’m homesick already.

Cynical And Southern, Dating and Relationships »

[15 Aug 2011 | 19 Comments | ]
I Desperately Want To Be Loved

It’s so out of fashion to say it aloud. To stand on a mountaintop and scream at the top of your lungs “Goddamnit I want so desperately for someone to fucking love me.” These are the kind of things you are never supposed to feel. And if you feel them you aren’t supposed to. Never say it out loud. Neediness equals weakness.

Cynical And Southern, Humor, Personal Narratives »

[11 Aug 2011 | One Comment | ]
I Use My Cell More To Avoid People Than Talk To Them

I stood in the club. Jennifer Lopez blared out of the speakers. An endless parade of shirtless douchebags nudged and elbowed me. My friends were in the bathroom and I stood alone. I reached for my cell phone to pretend I was texting someone. Saved by the cell.

Cynical And Southern, Dating and Relationships »

[8 Aug 2011 | 2 Comments | ]
Don’t Show Your Crazy Flaws On The First Date

Once upon a time I used to wear my hair long. I also used to take showers instead of baths. And there’s something else I used to do that I don’t do anymore: the second I became interested in someone I burdened them with a long grocery list of everything that was wrong with me and everything bad that had ever happened in my life.

Before someone got the chance to know me I warned them about everything awful I was going to do and I filled them in on the childhood trauma I was using as an excuse for that action. Long before I let someone know my favorite soda, what I liked on my pizza, and what my favorite Joni Mitchell song was, I let them know each of my defense mechanisms and what all of my flaws are.

With the trap door flying open on all my discrepancies, it’s no surprise not many stuck around for the pizza.

Cynical And Southern, Personal Narratives »

[4 Aug 2011 | 4 Comments | ]
Does My Gaydolescence Ever Have To End?

I don’t ever want to grow up. Thankfully because I am gay I’m allowed a longer lease on my youth.

Cynical And Southern, Rants »

[1 Aug 2011 | 6 Comments | ]
Dyke Dollars And My First Experience With Queer Activism

I stand by something I realized sixteen years ago. The best way to change the world is to be yourself. When people see dollar bills with minority scribbling it doesn’t defuse their hatred or enlighten them. But when people see that their neighbor or co-worker is an awesome person who just happens to be gay, the impact could potentially be huge.

Columns, Cynical And Southern, Rants »

[28 Jul 2011 | 4 Comments | ]
I Was Bullied By A Drag Queen At St. Pete Pride

I’ve forgiven my father, my ex-boyfriends, my evil classmates, and shady former friends. I’ve forgiven my cousin that sat behind me in college and called me a fag. Only one memory races my adrenalin and it’s that of Coco the drag queen.

Cynical And Southern, Rants »

[25 Jul 2011 | 4 Comments | ]
Why Are Some Gays So Proud Of Being Bitchy?

I’ve met “the biggest bitch in the world” at least thirty times. It’s line that’s been used more times than “I’ll call you tomorrow”.

Cynical And Southern, Personal Narratives »

[21 Jul 2011 | 4 Comments | ]
What If My First Sexual Experience Had Been Positive?

Last night I saw Mike’s picture. I was caught off guard. Usually he made me grimace but instead I felt this intense urge to be held by him. To smell his hair. To love his voice instead of hating it like I did for two decades. I connected with a long-buried disappointment and realized that underneath all my hate for Mike was a long unanswered love.