We hear the words “I knew I was gay since…” fall from the mouths of friends and lovers – sometimes from our own reflective lips—and we never even think to question the authenticity of such statements. “…I was five…the 7the grade…high school.” Sometimes these words are spoken in retrospection as we remember the way we couldn’t keep our eyes off Molly Ringwald, or the way our heart hurt when the captain of the football team made fun of our stonewashed Levi’s, but sometimes these reflections aren’t about hindsight. Sometimes they demonstrate 110% clear, confident knowledge of a lifetime of same sex sexual attraction. You remember wanting to kiss your science lab partner on the mouth, you fantasized about locker room hand-jobs. In either case (uncertain longing for a friend, or a clear cut hotness for a person of the same sex) most of the time there was no hook-up. Maybe by the time high school rolled around, more likely it was freshman year of college, but the lack of actual fooling around never negates your gayness. We don’t need to answer the awkward parental coming-out question, “But, how do you know?” because most of the time, you just do.

Unfortunately, this trust in the inherent nature of sexuality isn’t really shared with folks who identify as bisexual.

As adults, we feel more comfortable swearing, telling potentially inappropriate jokes, and risking offending our peers, but in a classroom, educators have to responsibility to provide a learning environment free from fear and hostility.

Schools should be safe spaces. And I believe that homosexuality should be discussed openly and honestly in schools. This doesn’t mean talking about “gay sex” or about young people engaging in sex at all. It means that should not stigmatize gay parents of students, students who feel they may be LGBT, or students who support the equal rights of gay people, by keeping the issue quiet, unspoken, shameful.

Since the earliest days of home recording and sharing music (which is, in my lifetime, marked by laying belly down on the floor of my room, big plastic Sally Jesse glasses pressed against a tiny plastic boombox, waiting for B96 to play the hit song of the moment so that I could hit record) the art of the Mixtape has been studied and practiced. After a bit of reflection, I’ve created four different categories of most important Mixtapes Genres and surveyed friends for songs that they feel belong on each list. The results are below. Please add your additions in the comments.

Just Friends/Songs We Both Enjoy
Just Friends But I Want Something More
I’m in Super Serious Love With You Forever and Always
I Think We Should Break Up And I’m Trying To Be Subtle By Saying It Though A Mix Tape

Fighting for the rights of women isn’t unfair to men because of the institutional belief that “male” is normal and “female” is other. “White” is norm and “Black” or “Asian” equals other. It’s a simple case of privilege in this world and in this country more specifically. I try to be cognizant of the privilege I carry because I am Caucasian, because I come from the middle class, because I have been afforded good education, because I can read, because I have clean drinking water, because my very survival is not the first question posed to me when my eyes open each morning. Unfortunately, my awareness of these issues carries from the depths of issue-driven political stances and seriousness to the lighthearted and stress free moments of play in my life. It’s not the play itself; it’s the constant realization retailers separate “normal” and “other” in perpetuity.

Being out at work isn’t always all fun and games or about friendship and transparency. In some careers and at some companies, acceptance isn’t as ubiquitous as we would hope. Admittedly, in my field folks tend to be more liberal. I’ve been lucky – I’m out, I’m open and I’m normal

You already share clothes, use the same brand toothpaste and eat at the same restaurants. You probably use the same shampoo and face wash, too –I mean, it’s just more convenient. There are already so many similarities you’ll have with your significant other that you can’t avoid — why not seek out someone who is nothing like you to begin with? Is the old adage true? Do opposites really attract?

In an effort to change it up a little this week, I offer a piece of narrative nonfiction, rather than my usual issue-based commentary. Hope you enjoy.