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About

TNG is currently a small handful of people who write about their lives and interests, but we don’t speak with one voice. We are different people with varied interests, tastes and opinions. TNG is also you, being that we encourage you to post here as well.

While we have our differences, our common bond is that we choose to define ourselves instead of letting a narrowly defined mainstream gay culture do it for us. That is what’s new about what we’re doing here.

We all agree that the mainstream definition of “gay” isn’t just a sexual orientation, it’s a white male culture defined by consumerism, superficiality and anti-intellectualism. We don’t fit into this narrow matrix. We don’t want to. We choose to unplug. We choose the red pill.

This website is a forum where “new” gay men, women and transfolk of all backgrounds can share stories, ideas and events. We hope this site will help us learn about each other’s lives and have meaningful interactions. If you don’t see yourself or your opinions represented here, you solve that problem by sending us something to post. The burden is on you to make this site truly representative of a broad new gay community based on diversity, compassion and self-reflection.

Here are our particular areas of focus:

-Ideas: We encourage members of the DC gay community to join our conversation by submitting their own new gay commentaries/stories/opinions/events for posting. We don’t necessarily need to agree with what you write because we don’t all agree with each other. All we ask is that you contribute to the conversation between people who are thinking. We are discussing our gay lives, trying to figure things out and establish our authenticity as best we can. It can be ugly, inspiring, critical, funny, frustrating or sad, but it’s usually interesting. We don’t always agree or understand one other, but we think the conversation is important. It’s an opportunity for all of us to grow.

-Events: TNG is a place to learn about and post events that fall outside of the gay mainstream. We define as mainstream those events that receive a great deal of gay press or take place at a few prominent gay bars. This doesn’t mean we won’t give any love to mainstream events or venues, but we have our preferences; these tend to be concerts, interesting parties, intellectual gatherings, unique performances, group activities or clubs, art shows and whatever else you can think of. We also throw monthly parties where we try to inspire male/female integration and create a friendly environment where gay people (and their straight friends) can drop pretension or social awkwardness and treat one another as people instead of objects. That’s the theory, anyway. We’re working on it.

-Culture: TNG a place for people who are interested in a broad range of music, literature, films and art. We encourage you to submit reviews or essays of any of these topics. Most of the TNG staff doesn’t listen to popular radio and many people think that makes us a hipster blog. You can call us a hipster blog if you want to but we do try to cover a wide base of musical tastes. If you have opinions on music that we don’t cover, please submit an album review or a concert preview.

TNG is meant to be a descriptive exploration of alternatives to the gay mainstream, not a prescriptive “new gay” culture. Please contribute to this effort by reading, commenting, contributing and attending. And last but not least, thinking.

17 Comments »

Adam said:

Hey guys –

Great job on the site. I just wanted to throw my two cents in:

While I admire your message, it’s also crucial that we as homosexuals do not forget our roots, and those who struggled so hard to get us where we are today. Yeah, the Rainbow flag is kinda cheesy looking but by greying it out I think you are taking a step backward.

We have to continue to move forward while staying true to, and honoring, our past.

Just a thought.

Thanks,
Adam

20 March 2009 at 1:11 am

Alex said:

Hi everyone, I just found about this place, I’m still reading through it! It’s so good! I appreciate your comment Adam, however, what i like about this TNG thing is that for many of us the Rainbow, the mainstream gay culture, was never “our roots.” I’m a Mexican immigrant, and the whole mainstream gay identity was never something I had in my past but something I should assimilate to if I were to fit in. I think the struggles and experiences of some queer communities in the USA have been deprived of their meaning by the current “gay mainstream culture.”

27 March 2009 at 6:43 pm

GrrrlRomeo said:

The Rainbow originated in the grassroots, not the mainstream. It used to be different colors. It has the standard color rainbow now because when Harvey Milk died demand for the flag was so high they ran out of the original version and started using the standard rainbow colors. I like the premise of the site, but I like my grassroots rainbow.

1 June 2009 at 2:13 pm

Mark (a.k.a. forkboy1965) said:

Hello.

How I came across your site is irrelevant, but in reading your “About” page I was struck by one thing you state, which I think is horribly wrong. You claim, and I quote:

“We all agree that the mainstream definition of “gay” isn’t just a sexual orientation, it’s a white male culture defined by consumerism, superficiality and anti-intellectualism”

I can’t think of any time where the mainstream has attempted to define, en mass, the gay community as anti-intellectual. On the contrary, I would argue that intelligence is often a hallmark of homosexuals as portrayed through much of the mainstream media.

Then again, not being gay myself I may not have as clearly developed a sense for the media portraying gays as anti-intellectual.

2 June 2009 at 6:49 pm

Doug said:

to Mark: I don’t think this post was referring so much to the portrayal of gays in the mainstream media as it was referring to gay people themselves, within “mainstream gay culture,” who tend to focus on superficiality and downplay intellectualism; in other words, if you act too smart or too “deep” than you are considered an outcast, but if you use the right hair care products and wear the right clothes, than you are “in.” Certain groups within gay culture have defined what gay is supposed to mean, in a high schoolish and clique-ish sort of way. Sites like this one are meant to be alternatives for those of us who are tired of trying to dumb ourselves down or to fit into some standard of gayness that doesn’t really represent who we are.

2 June 2009 at 8:01 pm

Mark (a.k.a. forkboy1965) said:

to Doug: I had considered I was misreading the About information. Perhaps a revision to the About would offer more clarity?

You make an interesting point, but I might add that appearing or being intelligent in non-gay, mainstream culture can make one just as much an outcast as it might in gay culture.

Your description “Certain groups within gay culture have definedd what gay is supposed to mean, in a high schoolish and clique-ish sort of way,” is really no different than much of mainstream straight culture, as evidenced by television, movies, etc.

Oddly enough, and in relation to my original comment, I am often mistaken for being gay and when I ask straight folks what it is about me that leads them to believe I’m gay the list is very, very consistent: wicked sense of humour, very smart, talk with my hands, don’t follow sports.

It was the “smart” part that I connected with the About information, which, as I previously stated, may have mis-read.

3 June 2009 at 11:23 am

Craig said:

I have just been introduced to this site by a friend, and find it refreshing and interesting, but I do take issue with your tag line, “for everyone OVER the rainbow.” I am NOT over the rainbow. I am familiar instead with its history, with the way it came about, with the meaning of the individual colors.

I was closeted and living a “hetero” life for 38 years, and during that time, when I was miserable and lonely, whenever I saw a car or the rare house with a rainbow flag or symbol, it made me feel not quite so alone in the world. I deeply envied those people able to live their lives openly and not ashamed of who they are. At the same time, I believed I would NEVER be able to have that life, because of my own religious, family, and societal culture which forced me into a very awful place of secrecy and shame. I have literally cried in my (former) lonely life at seeing a gay person strong and courageous enough to display the rainbow.

Today, I proudly display the rainbow symbol on my house, on my car, and on my motorcycle, so that I might give hope to those people who are now where I was for so many years: terrified, alone, in despair. I want those people to see that there ARE gay people in the world who are proud of their lives and happy about their identity. I want them to see that a dad raising his two sons can be a father, a career guy, and a contributor to the community (the AT LARGE community not just the gay community).

The rainbow flag was designed by Gilbert Baker, who associated the colors with these meanings:

RED – Life
ORANGE – Healing
YELLOW – Sunlight
GREEN – Nature
BLUE – Serenity
VIOLET – Spirit

We should OWN the rainbow for what it was meant to be. We should arduously strive to return it to its place of deeper meaning and connection. And most of all, we should NEVER be ashamed of it. How many of our predecessors were inspired by it? It’s a huge part of our history. It was gigantic when we embraced a bright symbol and dared to collectively “come out.” I cannot fathom a movement that wants to suppress or deny that history.

Long live the rainbow, a symbol I sever from drunken abandon; a symbol I infuse instead with sacredness and meaning.

– Craig.

25 July 2009 at 12:29 pm

A crise da cultura gay monolítica – Parte 2 « Homomento said:

[...] for everyone over the rainbow (”para todos além do arco-íris”), o TNG alega em sua apresentação querer estar fora da matriz estreita que padroniza culturalmente os homossexuais. Um recente texto [...]

17 August 2009 at 10:12 am

common_tater said:

“We all agree that the mainstream definition of “gay” isn’t just a sexual orientation, it’s a white male culture defined by consumerism, superficiality and anti-intellectualism”…

Now we don’t all agree. I disagree. And I think the suggestion that anyone should be “over the rainbow” is not a good one. Get a new marketing team and acknowledge with respect those who paid the dues so that we can be out and proud. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, courage, and death went into making that rainbow flag. Don’t dismiss it as a relic of some bygone era.

29 October 2009 at 11:24 am

Vincent said:

Ditto Craig. Being a Washingtonian, how is it you have such a narrow opinion of US? The District was my home for twenty of the most enriching years of my life. Sorry, as inclined as I am to give everyone a wide berth when it comes to their opinion, you are flat out incorrect.

I get the impression you regard yourself as ABOVE our rainbow. But the good news for you is that you ARE a part of it and I encourage you to embrace who we are, to welcome every color of our rainbow into your life. Divisiveness and exclusivity will gain you little. None of us deserve to get thrown beneath the wheels of the bus, particularly when we are all fighting for our civil rights.

Looking at “mainstream media” for ANYTHING, never mind your personal reflection, will always be a distortion.

6 November 2009 at 3:54 pm

Taylor said:

Hi, I love what you guys are doing here. I’m straight, but I can see the frustration when one’s sexuality sort of pidgeonholes you into a specific culture. I guess I shouldn’t post here if I can’t contribute to the gay community, but just showing the site some love.

10 December 2009 at 12:42 am

cyril said:

Hi, I’m gay, (or maybe bi, well… you know the drill, I guess) and i wanna thank you guys for what you are trying to do here. I think that being “over” the rainbow doesn’t mean that you are disrespecting the hard struggles of the past, it means that the codes and the cultural signs of recognition used in a certain “visible” gay community do not necessarily apply to every homosexual. The problem with flags for me is that, even though they may first be used as a way towards emancipation and liberation, they sometimes come to symbolize a “closed” identity afterwards, and prevent the expression of desires that do not fit with a newly constructed norm.

I’m kind of pissed off by Craig’s comment on that subject, and i mean no disrespect to him, and i hear his past suffering and i hope he hears my sympathy, but speaking of personal difficulties, I think the flag is one of those cultural signs that came to symbolize the most blatant clichés that prevented me to have a true access to my own sexuality all those years. Basically put, it represents to guys like me a caricatural vision of homosexuality to which i could never identify. Music is a big part of that equation, and it may seem stupid, but when you’re a teenager it usually DOES have a lot of influence when you try to find who or what you are.

The flag, or, rather, what it symbolizes, lead me to confusion about who i wanted to be… I’d say it made me waste time. Everyone has a differnet story, I think, and i’m not sure it’s relevant to say which one is more relevant than the other… I think some gays are less vocal about “different” types of coming-of-age/coming-out stories simply because they know things are a bit more complicated than those public manichean versions of it. So the only thing we hear are those stories of poor closeted gays suddenly finding their ways out. “And they lived happily ever after…”. C’mon. Life can not be that simple…

I also wanna add that when Craig or other people disagreeing with the new gay that the people they praise in the history of gay rights, the Harvey Milks and others, were also militants, that they stood for political ideas… but those ideas did not come from nowhere, they came for people trying to think things through, and not accepting the mainstream bullshit of their times… When TNG criticizes consumerism and anti-intellectualism, I think they have a point… There is a cliché image of gay people nowadays that is related to just that: a hedonistic consumer of things. It’s funny how it has an effect on everything… Even in sexuality. Ok. I’m no fucking puritan. I’m no party-pooper. I understand the need of having fun. I understand the importance of rejecting conventional morals. But I just think one needs to show how this compulsive behaviour is just another simulacrum… That one does not need to conform to ANY standards when it comes to his/her sexuality. And that the most visible cultural artefacts surrounding “gay life” (whatever that may be) may be challenged by something different and less superficial. It’s time to REALLY accept diversity. I think that’s what TNG is trying to do.

So thanks again, guys…

14 December 2009 at 12:18 am

cyril said:

I just read myself again and i wanna apologize for the typos… it’s no excuse, but it’s quite late (or quite early) in France right now and my eyes are sore. So, TNG, now you know you have readers over there, too…

14 December 2009 at 12:35 am

Iain said:

Hi Guys, Girls and everything in between,

I really like your site and thought I’d add to the discussion on this page which really got me thinking.
I totally get what you’re doing but I do agree that ‘over the rainbow’ could be misunderstood. For me it’s less about overshooting the rainbow altogether and more about arguing that there are more *colours in the spectrum than are currently accommodated.

You can’t please all of the people all of the time – especially when producing a site for anyone who’s not 100% heterosexual – and thank goodness for that! The reason we’re such a diverse group is that we come from all ages, places, and walks of life. There are a lot of ‘gays’ as well as ’straights’ who don’t get that and I, for one, think there’s more to life than ever putting yourself in a pigeon-hole. I want to remain open to everything.

On a lighter note I got to your site by Googling ‘gay rock’ and the first site I got was this one: http://www.lovegodsway.org/GayBand (The comments in parenthesis are hilarious and appalling in equal measure).

Let’s just all remember we’re all on the same side against mindless zealots like them.

Iain x

* This is not a typo – I’m Scottish!

16 January 2010 at 1:00 pm

Anthony said:

I disagree vehemently with the people who say that this site needs a new tag line. My face lit up with a big smile when I saw the TNG postcard in the gym that said “for everyone *over* the rainbow.” I thought to myself, “FINALLY! Some homosexuals somewhere are doing some thinking!”

I myself am *wayyyyyy* over the rainbow, and precisely for the same reasons outlined on this page: “We all agree that the mainstream definition of “gay” isn’t just a sexual orientation, it’s a white male culture defined by consumerism, superficiality and anti-intellectualism. We don’t fit into this narrow matrix. We don’t want to. We choose to unplug. We choose the red pill.”

I don’t think this site is about rejecting history; I think it’s about growing beyond a very narrowly defined culture that no longer serves the needs of diverse LGBTQ individuals who want to live fuller, happier, more connected lives. The rainbow flag politics of the past just ain’t cutting it anymore. That means we need new symbols, new conversations, new alliances.

This site is a welcome breath of fresh air, and I congratulate those who have put it together!

18 February 2010 at 4:41 pm

LBSF said:

I love the idea of a “new gay”. I really hate to be boxed in. I never did listen to the prescribed gay music, or wear the appropriate gay attire or behave the way a “card-carrying member of the gay community” was supposed to. I always thought it was hateful to segregate the males from the females of our tribe or to support racial hierarchy. I agree wholeheartedly; we are all the same and yet beautifully different.
I agree with most every opinion expressed here. In fact these are the very sentiments I, and my generation of gay (I’m 49–you might call us the old gay) expressed when we were the “the new gay”.
What your site says to me, is that there will hopefully always be a new crop of critical thinkers who question the established norms and who express the need for accepting and inclusive communities. I do hope that the new gay will include the old gay.
I hope the new gay is not ageist. That is the one major flaw that I feel the gay community of all generations has glaringly shone. I hope that just because I’m old and white, that I, and my generation won’t be boxed and labeled, “mainstream” by the young cultural revolutionaries.
The best part of growing old is the security we earn from years of experience, the humble pride we find from learning our lessons and the sense of peace we earn from discovering what really makes us happy not just for the moment but in knowing what feels good and works for our daily lives. That’s worth a lot. It would be a shame to generalize us and discard ideas just because they aren’t new.
I’m old and I’m in. Let us help you create the gay of tomorrow.

22 February 2010 at 11:35 am

Patrick said:

“We all agree that the mainstream definition of ‘gay’ isn’t just a sexual orientation, it’s a white male culture defined by consumerism, superficiality and anti-intellectualism. We don’t fit into this narrow matrix.”

Hmmm. I’m looking at the advertisements featured here and the photos of the New Gay’s staff. I’m looking at the variety of topics posted by the New Gay, from serious political commentary to campy tv show musings. It all looks perfectly fine to me. Nicely done.

But I must say. It’s funny. This ‘New Gay’ looks pretty much exactly like the ‘Old Gay’. I guess I just don’t get it. No big deal. Just … funny.

6 March 2010 at 9:17 am