The New Gay Sex Symbol: Wilfred the Dog
It’s been a while since TNG anointed its last New Gay Sex Symbol, so we wanted to really take things to the next level. Sure, guys are hot and all, but you know what’s hotter? Dogs. Being attracted to human males just isn’t cutting it these days – it’s so DONE, ya know? And one pooch in particular has really got us howling: Wilfred.
You might have caught an episode or two of his eponymous show Wilfred on FX (if you haven’t, scamper on over to hulu where you’ll find the whole season streaming). He and Elijah Woods have great on-screen chemistry in this charming American version of an Australian hit comedy. Fortunately for us, when the show migrated from down under they brought the dog with it.
Here are the reasons why we’re hoping to cross the final frontier, and make Wilfred into man’s best friend with benefits:
1) They don’t call it doggy style for nothing, amiright?! This puppy knows how to treat a bear.
2) Conservative crackpots like our own dear Ruben Diaz equate homosexuality with bestiality – isn’t it time we reached across the aisle in a gesture of fellowship and understanding and proved them right?
3) Wilfred’s already totally down with the swerve. When giving advice on how to settle a dispute, he urges Elijah to “march over there, look him straight in the eye, and tell him I’m the man who shat in your boot. Then bend him over and root him right up the ass.” A dubious Elijah asks Wilfred if he’s done that before, to which he replies “every goddamn day.” I hear that!
4) The show’s American producer David Zuckerman describes Wilfred as “part Labrador Retriever and part Russel Crowe on a bender.” It’s like he’s reading my dream journal!
5) I don’t care what species you are, if you’re from Australia you’re automatically sexy.
Sometimes the little fella can get a tad preachy, and he seems to have a deep compulsion for manipulating those around him, but that’s no worse than your last boyfriend, right? And unlike that loser, Wilfred actually gets excited when you bring out the leash.
That’s right world, FX has got us in the mood to give a dog a bone, and we’re not afraid to bark about it! Tell Elijah he can feel free to drop Wilfred off at our house for a long weekend any time – we’ve got some new tricks to teach him.
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