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2 August 2011, 4:00 pm 2 Comments

Politics: More Homo, Less Phobe

Submission by first-time contributor Walter Hawkins

Victoria Jackson recently posted a column on ultra-conservative website WorldNetDaily entitled, “The Muslims Next Door.” In the very first paragraph of Jackson’s article, she divulges,” Frankly, I’m afraid to say anything about Muslims. Why? Because they kill people.” Given the instantaneous self-contradiction of her declaration, I think it’s safe to assume she really isn’t all that afraid. Jackson goes on to further malign Muslims, among others. Ironically, no one, not even the killer Muslims, cared. All of that faux fear wasted. What did garner Victoria Jackson some undoubtedly much-sought-after attention, however, was an idiotic non sequitur that appeared later in the article. Jackson makes light of an alleged beauty magazine for al-Qaeda women by musing that it is “as ridiculous as two men kissing on the mouth.” I’m not, in the least, sure what one thing has to do with the other, but, I’m confident it all makes sense in the mind of Ms. Jackson. She continues, “Did you see ‘Glee’ this week? Sickening!”

For all of the youngsters out there who haven’t a clue who, or what, Victoria Jackson is, she is best known for her work as a cast member on “Saturday Night Live” from 1986 through 1992. She is an annoyingly shrill-voiced actress/comedienne who, after leaving “SNL,” was understandably never quite able to elevate herself above C-list celebrity status. She had all but fallen off the pop culture radar until she dared to bash “Glee.” The particular episode of the wildly popular Fox television show to which she was referring is the March 15th installment, in which two of the male characters boldly shared a same sex kiss. Sadly, someone forced poor Ms. Jackson to watch this, and now she is practically apoplectic over the whole thing. As a result, she has suddenly re-emerged, like some modern-day Anita Bryant, Bible in tow and easily accessed for a good relentless thumping, and has made several appearances on any media outlet that will entertain her inane, screechy rhetoric. I happened to see Jackson’s interview on CNN, where she repeatedly quoted the Bible and accused the makers of “Glee” of trying to “turn kids gay.” Christians relentlessly work to perpetuate the myth that homosexuals are diabolically recruiting or trying to force children to be gay. It has been my experience that it is, in fact, Christians who recruit and try to make people into something that they are not, like Christians or heterosexuals. First of all, I’m pretty sure that anyone watching “Glee” is already at least half-gay. More importantly, it’s impossible to turn someone gay, and if a child’s pre-programmed sexual orientation is so unstable that it can be completely reversed by a 5-second kiss seen on television, intelligent design is anything but. I recall, as a child, witnessing countless heterosexual kisses on television, in movies, and live, in person. I can’t believe it failed to “turn” me straight. I hope to someday ask Ms. Jackson what went wrong, since she obviously has some sort of insight into these matters.

After her laughable appearance on CNN, Jackson posted another poorly written, Bible-verse-laden WorldNetDaily column entitled, “Homosexuals and the Cross.” Uh-oh. The title alone tells you that it’s not going to bode well for the gays. Before I break it down, I just want to note that, about halfway through the article, Jackson triumphantly and shamelessly treats us all to the revelation that she and her husband of 19 years continue to have tons of good ol’ heterosexual sex. I get it, Ms. Jackson. You’re are one proud, penis-loving Christian broad, and you are very classy about it. Thanks for that gag-inducing little nugget of information. Not surprisingly, it is one of the least vulgar things about the article.

Ms. Jackson uses almost the entire first half of “Homosexuals and the Cross” to recount how she was shunned and victimized by all of the evil liberal “pod people” at CNN, most notably by the “black guard” who allegedly refused to validate her parking ticket as she left the studio. Excuse me – the BLACK GUARD?! I’m not even touching that one.

Once again, Ms. Jackson quotes numerous verses from various books of the Bible, including Leviticus. Leviticus is a crucial book of the Bible, in that it contains perhaps the most compelling verses employed by Christians to justify their rabid, limitless hatred of homosexuals. Leviticus 18:22 reads, “You shall not lie with a male as those who lie with a female; it is an abomination.” Further along, Leviticus 20:13 states, “If a man lies with a male as those who lie with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination and they shall surely be put to death.” While there are varying opinions among Biblical scholars with regards to accuracy of translation and true meaning of these passages, hardcore religious zealots who believe that every word of the King James version of the Bible is indisputably the word of God wield these verses like a queer-fighting weapon of condemnation. They rarely ever mention some of the other nuggets found in Leviticus, such as verse 11: 1-12, which lists the “unclean” animals that are forbidden as food, including rabbits, pigs and shellfish (oysters, lobster, clams, shrimp, scallops). Leviticus 19:19 forbids wearing a garment made from 2 kinds of material blended together. And, Leviticus 19:27 basically prohibits men from grooming their hair and beards. It’s so convenient for Christians to ignore the elements of the Bible that they simply don’t like, and cherry pick the verses that support their agenda. Whatever happened to, “Love thy neighbor as thyself?” Jackson and those of similar mindset want a Bible that allows them to hate freely without also requiring them to be good Christians.

Jackson further opines that, even if homosexuals are born gay, they have no need to ever act on it because everyone, even she, the irreproachable Victoria Jackson, is “born with sexual attraction they did not ask for.” She asks, “Should my husband commit adultery because he has an attraction to another woman? Should my teenager fornicate because she was born with a strong urge to have sex with her boyfriend? Should I have sex with anyone I am attracted to?” Good Lord. This battery of questions is so typical in this type of discussion. For people such as Jackson, love never enters into the picture. It’s all about sexual activity. Of course her husband shouldn’t commit adultery. Of course Ms. Jackson shouldn’t have sex with anyone to whom she is attracted. They are married to each other and, allegedly, in love. At least I am assuming they are in love. Ms. Jackson never claims to actually love her husband; she merely declares that they still have lots and lots of sex. As for Ms. Jackson’s daughter, if she came right out of the womb not only with a boyfriend, but with the strong urge to “fornicate” with said boyfriend, she’s a slut. This is all just so silly. No teenager should be having sex. They are neither mature nor responsible enough to handle it. Look what happened to that other paragon of Christian family values, Bristol Palin. The real point here is: Jackson’s daughter will eventually enter adulthood and marry a man with whom she falls in love. Then, they can fornicate all they want, with Ms. Jackson’s, the federal government’s, and the Christian community’s, blessings. Jackson believes that homosexuals should never have the opportunity to do either of those things because, in her opinion, it “goes against God.” On a different note, going back to the beloved book of Leviticus, I wonder how Ms. Jackson felt for the 66 days after she gave birth to her daughter, when God considered her to be unclean (Leviticus 12: 1-8). I’m sure she must have made the required animal sacrifice to restore her “clean” status in the eyes of the Lord because she is now clearly in a position to judge others so freely.

Jackson also takes great umbrage at how Hollywood “glorifies” the gay lifestyle. She claims we never see the “loneliness, shame, broken families and marriages, diseases.” I guess heterosexuals never get lonely, ashamed, divorced or sick. Must be wonderful to be straight and have a perfect life. Keep burying your big fat empty head in that conservative Christian sand, Ms. Jackson. The phenomena you list aren’t exclusive to the homosexual community. And besides, haven’t you ever heard of “Longtime Companion, Philadelphia, Angels in America, The Hours, the Boys in the Band,” or “Brokeback Mountain,” just to name a few?

Ms. Jackson is the worst kind of hypocrite. She claims to have gay friends, whom she refers to as “G” and “S.” She also claims to love them but insists that, being a good Christian, she can neither accept nor condone their lifestyle. She must stand in judgment of them and remind them that they are “sinners” because she knows how God feels about everything. Love the sinner, hate the sin. Bullshit. I can’t imagine how miserable and self-loathing (and just plain stupid) G and S must be.

Tragically, Victoria Jackson is just the tip of the homophobic iceberg – a symptom of a much larger and far more dangerous sickness. There are more highly visible and powerful homophobes out there who get a far greater amount of attention. Take, for instance, former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee. Huckabee, who, for all intents and purposes, is a contender for the 2012 presidential election, has no hesitation in declaring that, if elected, he will work tirelessly to reinstate the recently overturned “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” military policy, because that’s “what the troops want.” I seriously doubt that Huckabee has the slightest clue, nor really even gives a shit, what the troops want. He is, however, completely in line with what his hardcore, right-wing Christian conservative base wants. Two other potential 2012 presidential contenders, Donald Trump and Newt Gingrich, both of whom are known adulterers, continue to denounce marriage equality for homosexuals. Then, there’s the Westboro Baptist Church, a clan of arguably inbred and wildly unattractive attention whores who have somehow convinced the federal government that they are a legitimate church and, therefore, merit tax-exempt status. The WBC has long been picketing at the funerals of deceased homosexuals, most notably at the memorial for Matthew Shepard, a University of Wyoming student who, in 1998, was tortured and murdered in one of the most gruesome and shocking hate crimes in history. The WBC proudly proclaims that “God hates fags,” and has made it their undying mission to spread the word. For such a small group of assholes, they manage to garner an inordinate amount of media coverage. While their rhetoric and actions have always been grossly repellent, only when they expanded their message to incorporate “God hates America,” and began to picket at the funerals of fallen soldiers, did heterosexual America become offended and denounce the church’s activities.

While the overall tone and presentation of Mike Huckabee’s and Victoria Jackson’s messages might be a little more palatable than that of the Westboro Baptist Church, the underlying theme is, nonetheless, very similar: it is perfectly acceptable, nay, mandatory, based on your religious fantasies, to consider homosexuals to be, somehow, less than human and, therefore, undeserving of any amount of respect, civility, or equal rights. Jackson has denounced the term “homophobia” as a “liberal buzzword.” She claims homophobia doesn’t exist. Phobia is defined as an irrational, intense and persistent fear of certain situations, activities, things, animals or people. This seems to describe Ms. Jackson’s condition quite accurately. She’s so hysterical, she thinks watching a TV show can turn her child gay, for Christ’s sake. Even if not entirely fearful themselves, homophobes toil unendingly to instill fear in all who will listen, based on innuendo, conjecture, manufactured data and baseless accusations of abhorrent behavior. Such irrational fear often results in extreme actions, like violence.

My main question to homophobes is: if God hates gay people so much, why hasn’t he eradicated homosexuality? I mean, this is the same God who was so disturbed at how wicked the world had become that he commissioned a 600-year old man to build a boat large enough to house two of every species of animal on the planet (Biblical scholars estimate the number to be in excess of 45,000) and flooded the Earth for a year, wantonly and indiscriminately killing every man, woman and child. This is also the same God who sent angels to the decadent city of Sodom and Gomorrah to round up all of the righteous individuals who resided there and herd them out of town before raining fire from the heavens and destroying all of the sinners who were left there. Why hasn’t this happened in San Francisco or Provincetown on July 4th weekend, or any area with a large concentration of homosexuals? Let’s hope that, if it does, Ms. Jackson doesn’t look back to check if her two best gay friends, G and S, made it out alive. I doubt she would chance it. Otherwise, she might turn into a pillar of salt.


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