Cynical And Southern: Does My Gaydolescence Ever Have To End?
I don’t ever want to grow up. Thankfully because I am gay I’m allowed a longer lease on my youth.
I am 36 years old. I still have rock star posters on my wall. I love my stuffed animals. I go out and dance three nights a week. I leave my house at one am. I wait tables and love it. Many of my habits haven’t changed since I was eighteen.
My friends Michelle and Jessica were recently talking to a forty year old girl they knew. Distastefully they chastised the girl for being forty, unmarried, and still going to clubs. “People shouldn’t be going to clubs when they are over forty!”
“Ladies,” I replied. “I plan on still tearing up the dance floor when I’m sixty.”
“It’s different,” they said. “You are gay.”
Michelle and Jessica reaffirmed what I already knew. As a gay man I am relieved of the expectation of having to raise a family, move to the ‘burbs, and lose my soul after twenty nine. Homo say what?
Many things have changed since I was 18. I am much more mature with conflict resolution. Years of soul searching has made me more self aware and more genuine. I find myself to be more insightful than I was in my teen years. Personal growth aside, if one were to view my daily schedule on paper…not much has changed! Many of my gay friends in my age bracket are in the same boat. Without biological clocks ticking in our gay ears do we allow ourselves to feel young longer without the straight guilt?
I don’t drink. I am not enslaved to a chemical dependency. I just love pounding my thirty six year old feet on the dance floor with a big smile on my face. For years I’ve mourned my single life. Perhaps these are the years I still should be enjoying it.
I see many of my gay friends settling down once they are in their mid forties. Perhaps for straight people adolescence ends at twenty one and for gay men it ends at forty five.
I plan on enjoying my gaydolescence while it lasts.
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