Sex: Play Party Myth Busters
“I want to go to one of those dungeon parties but I’m scared of what they’ll do to me.”
“I don’t want people touching me.”
“Orgies scare me.”
“You’ll protect me right? I’m don’t like pain and I don’t really like strangers….”
I have plenty of friends and fellow kinksters who are interested and curious about going to dungeon parties with me but a lot of them (and a lot of people in general) are under the impression that it’s a free-for-all group fuckfest where fluids are splashing against the walls in bucketloads, whips are cracking right and left, and people are writhing, screaming, and collapsing into each other in one big, sweaty, leather-clad heap.
It’s not like that. Not at all, actually.
Because I saw that “Pirates of the Caribean 4″ movie a few nights ago with one of my best friends, it reminded me of the cool part in the first movie where all the skeleton pirates are snatching at Kiera Knightly, tossing her to one another, throwing her into the sky on a skull-and-crossbones parachute, tearing at her dress, and generally having their own pirate skeletony way with her.
Maybe new S&M-ster’s think that dungeon parties are kind of like that?
First of all, NO ONE is going to grab you and start paddling your ass. Perhaps you’d like to secretly imagine that it would happen that way but that’s not how it goes.
The serious BDSM community, the people who show up at dungeon parties, have strict codes of conduct.
No one touches anyone without their full consent. And if anyone comes up to talk to you it’s probably because they want to say hello, introduce themselves, and make some smalltalk. The likelihood of a stranger approaching you and asking you if it’s okay if they tie you down and dump hot wax all of you is very, very low.
When you’re all dungeon parties, the people playing with one another 9.999 times out of ten know each other and have known each other for a very long time. They may be girlfriend/boyfriend, longtime partners, or even spouses out for an exhibitionistic thrill. It’s entirely possible that someone will ask you to play with them and, if you’re in the mood and they seem cool, then you should give it a go. If not, “No, thank you” always means “No” and there should be no fears that anyone won’t take your word for it.
Most of you have seen “Shortbus”, right? It’s not like “Shortbus” but with chains hanging from the walls. “Shortbus” showed the most idealized orgy situation that has ever been presented as an actual possibility. Invitations to everyone for everything were all over the place.
But in real life, and in dungeon settings, play parties are considerably more conservative. It’s more like small vignettes of 2 or 3 people in their own scenes, in their own little worlds, simultaneously, engaging in bondage play. It’s open and in a group setting. Everything is relatively mellow and even the bad boys and girls are under their best behaviors.
Dungeon play parties are fun and it can be great conducting scenes in a group setting. But those parties are highly controlled and far from chaotic.
So, if you’re curious, then you should attend one. You might learn something or make new friends. There’s a bigger chance that someone will come up to you to tell you that they like your boots than ask if they can shackle you to the dungeon floor.
So go, don’t worry about anything, relax, and just have a good time.
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