Sex: Loud and Proud
Submission by K. Kriesel, TNG contributor
For two years, I was the only person in my apartment building having loud sex. This made me very sad, as it meant that there was no proof that anyone other than myself was getting it good. After finally hearing a happily screaming neighbor, it dawned on me to found this society:
First, a refresher from The Vagina Monologues:
This was my story. Well, not the lawyer part, though I’d gladly take her as a sugar mama. But I, too, used to “hide my moan” with a couple unappreciative lovers and in some primly proper residences. Sex was far less enjoyable; it’s one thing to choose to be quiet because it adds a sneaky quality to how naughty you’re being, and quite another to be told, “If you don’t quiet down, I’m going to stop.” The silence of these dorms and apartment buildings was something to conform to, right? Don’t disturb it, even if it is 9pm on a Saturday.
I assistant-managed a production of The Vagina Monologues at my internship, shortly before graduation. My relationship at the time was also faltering and it ended about a month after I graduated. These three coinciding events inspired me to throw off the weight of imposed silence. Although it was sad to no longer be held in awe in the dorm, at least I didn’t have to worry about disturbing someone’s homework (what could turn you off more?). No more would I be silenced, I would proclaim my lover’s skill – and sex got a lot better with this noisy liberation!
Those of us who appreciate loud sex must band together. Good sex makes a happier world and if you can’t hear it happening, how do you know it’s happening at all? Make the world a happier place by joining Citizens Upholding Noisy Titillation.
Step 1: Have loud sex
Step 2: Cheer on the loud sex you overhear
That’s all it takes to become a Citizen of C.U.N.T. We want to hear Noisy Titillation in the apartments and houses we pass, in the dressing rooms of where we shop, under the tables of restaurants, and in the parks. A society in which people are getting laid is a happy society.
Join the Citizens Upholding Noisy Titillation group on Facebook. T-shirts and buttons to appear in the near future!
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