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27 June 2011, 9:00 am 3 Comments

Cynical And Southern: Paying to See a Straight Guy Naked

This post was submitted by Jeremy Gloff

This was the greatest empowerment. This was the greatest high. This was the dirtiest and most fabulous secret ever to be hidden in the back of my closet behind a great pair of shoes and my favorite tee.

Once I realized I could see almost any guy I wanted to see naked for $100 or less it was like the day Superman realized his own powers. Spiderman had the power of agility and Wonderwoman had the power of her breasts. In the shadows of neon I have discovered the balance between the power of the Benjamin Franklin and the power of the cock.

It all began in 2001. I was in love with a troll. Not “troll” in the gay connotation, but a real troll. Short. Stout. Perhaps there was even a bit of a hunchback. He was regrettably heterosexual but flirtatious as ever.

Perhaps I was blinded by love this time. They say love causes people to do things they never thought they would do. When the troll was crying online about going to jail if he didn’t pay off his probation officer I felt empathetic. And jokingly opportunistic. When I told the troll I’d pay off his probation officer in exchange for a private strip show I never in my wildest wet dreams imagined that he’d say yes. But he did. And we did. Then he told everyone afterwards. And that was the night I paid the Troll Toll.

To see a straight boy that I felt so strongly and emotionally about fully naked was exhilarating to the point of euphoria. The money was a small price to find myself in view of a dick that I’d been longing for for years.

I internally toyed with the ethics of my actions. People pay thousands of dollars in strip clubs to see strangers naked. How was that different than paying someone I knew to show off his hotness in a more private and intimate situation?

Now it’s a decade later. I’ve accumulated many more scandalous stories and I won’t be sharing them here. I’ve had a lot of good times. I do know I have to be careful as a gay man to not just view other men as pieces of meat. It’s hard in a world that feels like almost everyone is on sale, one way or another.

A complete objectification of the flesh would be the death of my gay heart.  Is straight dick really worth that much?

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  • tgoecke said:

    So what’s wrong with objectifying? Straight culture is based entirely on men objectifying women. So let the straight boys know what it feels like to be looked on as nothing more than a piece of meat.

  • ChuckF said:

    “Straight culture is based entirely on men objectifying women.”

    That’s one of the most heterophobic comments I’ve ever read on the internet.

  • Doctor Whom said:

    One could just as well argue that he objectified you, turning you into an ATM accessible by dick rather than a card. Then again, maybe we could look at the situation without the politically correct blinders and say that the two of you reached a mutually satisfactory arrangement.