This post was submitted by Topher Burns

Earlier this week I said some harsh things about Lady Gaga.  Promotion is ramping up for her HBO concert special Lady Gaga Presents the Monster Ball Tour at Madison Square Garden, and every subway ad I pass summons forth from within me a resounding “meh.”  I stand by every nasty thing I said about the she-monster, but to prove that TNG isn’t a pravda rag for sanctimonious, over-politicized, and drearily offended queers, I’d like to present a counterpoint to my Gaga dismissal.

The following is a rejoinder from commenter “Toph,” who I swear is not me.

Lady Gaga performing "Bad Romance" on The Monster Ball Tour. (courtesy aphrodite-in-nyc)

 

:-( Sigh…it’s not always easy being a Gaga defender/apologist, but in the name of capital H-I-M, I swore an oath to that woman that I’d follow her to hell and back if she asked me, so here is my Chris Crocker moment.

I don’t necessarily disagree with you about her two latest singles. As much as I still love them, they’re never going to be the universally loved classics that her first six were. Yet, even if you find the lyrics too banal and the beats too trite, I’ll still take Gaga’s mediocre over Rihanna’s or Katy’s best any day. Both of Gaga’s new singles have a helluva lot more to say than anything Britney or Ke$ha have ever screeched into a microphone. I grade Gaga on a curve not just out of blind devotion, but also because she writes her own material and therefore musically takes a much bigger risk. Am I saying a third-grader should win a Pulitzer because he wrote his own essay? No, but I think writing off a great talent the minute she produces silver instead of gold is indicative of a fame culture Gaga was smart enough to both parody and exploit in the first place.

As for the Monster Ball, you will be missing out by not tuning in. For one, I think it was filmed barely a week after BTW came out, so it’s still going to be all of her old stuff anyway. Second, it’s an amazing big arena show, chock full of hot backup dancers, visually orgasmic costumes and sets, and intermission videos inspired by Warhol and Fritz Lang, among others. So while I clearly don’t expect everyone to have the same melodramatic response (art and pop are what you make of them), it merits viewership simply for its performance value. Most importantly though, Gaga is an intensely candid performer. She doesn’t just go through the moves and belt it out; she speaks to you as if you were five feet away from her at a piano bar, and as countless critics have said, her voice really is that good live. I am thrilled that she is sharing it with a wide television audience because now perhaps finally at least one person will understand why I take her so personally. My Monster Ball was as cathartic as it was breathtaking, and if she can inspire one (otherwise cynical, rational) fan to go on a diatribe like this, then I think she deserves at least a little more credit.

So, you convinced?  Nah, me neither.  I’ll probably watch Clone High instead (did you know Will Forte does the voice of both the announcer and Abe Lincoln?!).  Still, thanks Toph (again, my solemn promise that this is a different person), and we all know where you’ll be Saturday, May 7th: plucked, powdered, and primped, trying to grip a cup of jungle juice with the claws of some sort of glam disco lobster costume you’ve assembled in an homage to the one true queen.  May the rest of your viewing party attendees be as pious.

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