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24 January 2011, 10:00 am No Comments

Bears vs Packers Play-by-Play

This post was submitted by Art

Photo by Paul Cutler, Bears v. Packers October 2007; courtesy Wikimedia Commons

I am writing this week during the Biggest Game Ever, Bears vs. Packers for the NFC Championship Game from Solider Field in Chicago, Illinois. Also known as the Greatest Place On Earth (but only if the Bears win). As of 1:38 pm Central Time Sunday, I predict the Bears win 21-17. Go Bears!!!

2:01 pm: An amazing rendition of ‘The Star Spangled Banner’ by Jim Cornelison to start the game.

2:06: Packers win the toss, Bears kick-off. Packers start at the 16. Great field position for Bears D.

2:07: Two throws, 2 catches, over 40 yards by Aaron Rodgers and Jennings. Bears secondary looks, after 3 plays, weak. Unacceptable.

2:10: Rodgers just put it to the Bears, taking the ball all the way to the 1 yard line. Bears D looks anything but Bears-like. For all the prognostications of a close game, watch this be a total offensive shootout.

2:11: Rodgers outsmarts the whole Bears D, runs in for a TD. 7-0 Green Bay.

2:18: Jay Cutler (Cutie Extrodinare) avoids the GB pressure, dumps a nice little pass to Matt Forte for Bears first down.

2:20: Bears offense misses a huge opportunity to score. Defense *must* step up and stop Green Bay or this game could get out of hand very, very quickly.

2:27: Now THAT’S more like it. Julius Peppers (Bears defensive end) gets all up after the Packers, makes life difficult for Rodgers. GB lineman Clifton out with stinger (a head injury that’s slightly less than a concision). Could have big impact later on (matchups matter). Bears D makes a much needed stop.

2:32: Cutler sacked, Bears o-line unable to perform basic requirement of job (blocking). Good Christ.

2:37: Big Brian Urlacher sacks Rodgers. Bears offense HAS to step up here. Bears must score on this possession, if only for their own mental sake.

2:46: Oops, well, no. Bears o-line continues to look like their o-line of the first 4 weeks, which is to say puny. Consistently pushed around by Packers d. Time of possession differential between two teams is stark: 10 minutes for Packers, barely over 5 for Bears. #knockthatshitoff

2:50: Packers just march down field again for another touchdown. Bears look over-matched, tired and old. 14-0 Packers. This football game may already be over.

3:01: Incredibly stupid holding penalty on Bears Chester Taylor negates a first down throw. Bears look totally lost and confused on the field.

3:12: Bears can’t even come close to moving the football, but Matt Forte finally gets a hole and goes on a 13 yard run.

3:20: Barring a miracle second half, this game is over. Bears unable to generate any defensive pressure, unable to move the football offensively. Special teams are uninspiring.

3:22: Oh ho! An interception by Lance Briggs, Bears get the ball at their 43.

3:23: Yup, that was fast. Cutler turns the ball *right* back over to the Packers, getting intercepted at the 1. AT THE FREAKIN’ ONE YARD LINE. ONE. YARD. LINE.

Halftime 3:29 pm: Bears have serious adjustments to make in the locker room. Score is still only 14-0, but it feels like a much larger deficit. Packers have done everything right (but I still hate them), don’t need to make any changes.

3:41: Good way to start for the Bears – Devin Hester with a 24 yard return. Murmurs persist of a Cutler injury which would absolutely END any Bears shot to come back in this game.

3:46: Well, another 3 and out by the Bears. So, Hester goes to waste.

3:52: Phantom pass-interference call on Bears gives Packers first down inside the 5. Cutler looks done playing on Bears sidelines. If he is out for backup Caleb Hanie, this game is over, and the Bears organization humiliates itself by presenting the League Halas trophy to the hated Packers. In Chicago.

3:52:30: HUGE interception by BRIAN URLACHER. It’s not Cutler coming off the sidelines, it’s Todd Collins to QB(so Bears fans, think ‘Uh-oh’).

3:57: Alright. I’m still watching and still recording my thoughts, for some reason. But this game is over. No Cutler. No ability to move the ball offensively (save for an Urlacher interception). No defense. No special teams. Bears are done.

4:18: No change. In anything. ‘Cept now the trash-talking friends come out of the works. Haven’t heard from some of these people in a loooong time.

4:29: Ho-ho!!! Third QB’s the charm, as Caleb Hanie takes the Bears down field and Bears score. 14-7 GB. GO BEARS!

4:33: COMPLETE BULLSHIT helmet to helmet call by the officials in favor of the Packers. Absolute bullshit. Packers getting clocks cleaned now, and a gift first down.

4:35: The officials now seemed determined to give the Packers a shot with phantom pass-interference calls. Second one of the day gives GB another first down.

4:37: This is much, much more like the game I was expecting. Bears D has come around, stopping Rodgers and the Packers. If Hanie can now lead the Bears down the field and score…

4:42: ANOTHER 3-out by the Bears. Terrible, terrible, very bad, no good football by them, wonderful, wonderful, very skillful, good football by Green Bay.

4:46: Bears force 3 and out on Packers. One good run by the offense can tie the game. #excitementbuilds

4:52: BJ Raji intercepts Caleb Hanie, returns it for a touchdown. This football game is over. GB 21 Chi 7.

4:55: I hate them with the entirety of my soul (well, almost. They still aren’t the Twins). But congrats to the Green Bay Packers. They overcame injuries and their own stupidity to make it to the Super Bowl. Hats off. Now, Pittsburgh, go kick their ass.

4:55:30: Earl Bennett scores on a Hanie throw, GB 21 Chi 14.

5:01: Where was this Bears D in the first quarter? Force a 3 and out, and there’s still a lil’ glimmer of hope in Chicago…

5:04: Nope, not a glimmer. No protection (hm, I think I’ve typed that before) and the Bears are looking at another….wait, hang on…nope…Hanie THROWS to Tight End Greg Olsen and Bears get a first down…

5:05: Another complete screw job call on the Bears. Intentional grounding makes it 2nd and 20. Complete fabrication call.

5:07: Completely unrelated to football, I can’t tell if the Dodge commercial where Washington drives a Charger at the British soldiers is serious or a parody. If it’s serious, than it’s the worst commercial ever. If it’s satire, than it’s bloody brilliant.

5:12: Hmmm….could be a fabulously interesting finish.

5:13: Bears have 4 and 3 at the Packer 29. Must go for it.

5:14: Hanie intercepted. Game is now officially, 100 percent over. Worst day ever for the Chicago Bears. Thanks for reading through. Almost got the score right, just the wrong bloody teams.


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