Courtesy of dearjohnilovejane.com

I struggled with my own feelings of attraction to women over the course of my ten-year marriage.  I have described the struggle as trying to hold a beach ball underwater.  From the surface everything looked fine, and if I kept my position just right no one could see me holding that ball still. I lived in fear of making even the smallest change in my footing which would result in the beach ball shooting up through the surface of the water and then everyone would know.  And everyone would get wet.

It didn’t mean I was unhappy. Sure, I could have lived like that forever.  Sometimes I held my breath, but sometimes I was fine.  Overall, I just felt numb.

You can imagine the relief and camaraderie I felt when reading these stories.  I saw myself in every one of them.  Finally, I was understood!  I’m not a freak!  There are (many!) other women who felt the same way.

These women put all their cards on the table, knowing they might win big but could also lose everything, and were brave enough to play that hand anyway.

In addition to the foreword by Dr. Lisa M. Diamond, each story speaks to the concept of sexual fluidity, something women have known for ages but society is just catching on to.  The women also describe being looked at with a suspicious eye by the larger gay community, as if we are simply ‘trying on’ our gayness.

These stories are fascinating, heartbreaking and ultimately hopeful. I highly recommend this book.  Go buy it today.