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21 October 2010, 12:00 pm 6 Comments

Not Your Average Prom Queen: Top Ten Halloween Costumes For Lesbians

This post was submitted by Jean

Halloween is swiftly approaching and you ladies who like ladies might be looking for some clever costume ideas. Because, for me at least, the sexy cat/sexy nurse/sexy cowgirl/ sexy accountant genre doesn’t really fit my style, I thought I’d share a list of costume suggestions this week – with plenty of time before the 31st to prepare.

10. Bike Messenger – you pretty much dress like this anyway, and riding your bike to the party will seem like commitment to the costume, rather than the poignant statement about the destructive nature of car culture that it usually represents.

9. Pro-Choice/Animal Rights Protester – just grab some of your picket signs and a bloody t-shirt from last weekend, or the weekend before.

8. Virginia Woolf/Emily Dickenson/Eleanor Roosevelt – don a gray suit and let your nerdom shine. You may think you are clever dressing as one of these iconic women, but people will probably think you are a couple years late on the Sarah Palin costume.

7. Pu$$y Magnet – Tape stuffed cats to your body. This costume is perfect for the single girl looking to not get laid.

6. Softball Player – another easy costume you already have. If you weren’t on a softball team, surely your girlfriend was.

5. Justin Beiber – you already have the haircut, and the shiny button down shirt, too.

Not Your Average Prom Queen chooses pu%%y for Halloween

4. White “Imagine” T-shirt – when people ask about your costume, just say “I’m a Gine.”

3. Cat/Cat Lady/ Cat Scratching Post – just like guys deciding to dress as football players, it’s always a go-to costume to dress as the only thing you really love.

2. Gynecologist – at least you can speak convincingly about the anatomy before and after a few cocktails.

1. A Lesbian – throw on a flannel and your favorite jeans and you’ve got a costume. You don’t even need makeup. So ironic.

Any other clever ideas for this Halloween?


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6 Comments »

  • Lauren said:

    Pu$$y Magnet: “This costume is perfect for the single girl looking to not get laid.”—-HA. I’d agree, except in my experience, non-cat-owning dykes (so SAD!) are usually respectful of cat-owning-and-obsessing ladies. It’s kind of a must.

  • Drew said:

    I effing love all of these.
    You continue to make me laugh at inappropriate times, and I really need to stop reading your articles at work.

  • kaitlin said:

    so goood!!! hahaha love them all!!

  • K.O. said:

    I’m going as a taco, with the aim of saying “You are what you eat” every time someone asks me about my costume. I guess this would also fall under the “this costume is perfect for the single girl looking to not get laid” category. Oh well.

  • Becky said:

    AHHHAAAHAA! next year, mark my words, i will be a taco. brilliant!

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