Cynical and Southern: I Have Man Boobs And They’re Ruining My Life
I have man boobs. They aren’t huge. You can’t notice them from all angles. If I lean a certain way you cannot notice them at all. Because I can’t always be at just the right angle I live in constant terror that I will be “found out” and therefore be destroyed.
This began in seventh grade when I began to go through puberty. I took much pleasure in my pubic hair, constant erections, and truthfully the occasional zit didn’t bother me at all. I was too preoccupied by what hid under my T-shirt..
Around the age of thirteen quarter-sized lumps formed under my nipples. Like most teenagers I was very self-conscious and aware of my own body. While my nipples were certainly not in need of a bra they undoubtedly protruded from my body a bit more than the other boys in the locker room. My mother took me to the doctor who assured us that my enlarged breasts were a merely a side effect of puberty. I remember standing in the cold office as Dr. Forbes felt my nipples. I never felt more ashamed and embarrassed.
My middle and high school experience was similar to thousands of other gay boys who grew up in small conservative towns. Everyone thought I was gay years before I knew it. Never did I go from one class to the next without being called a faggot. The prospect of the student body discovering my enlarged breasts was a constant nagging terror. Dreaded most was swimming class. I took off my shirt, crossed my arms, and got into the deep water as fast as I could.
A classmate saw my breasts once and began to make fun of me. Luckily, a friend of mine, who was tougher than he, was there to defend me. I was lucky.  I fear the mental damage that would have ensued had I been forced to deal with “Jeremy Gloff has boobs” gossip during high school.
As I passed through my teenage years, my nipples did eventually shrink. Upon later research, I found that I suffered from Hereditary Gynecomastia, a condition that affects thirty to sixty percent of teenage boys.
Around Christmas last year I was given a gift that I certainly had not asked for. While looking in the mirror I discovered that once again my nipples were enlarged. I was fifteen pounds above the average body weight for my height but at 170 I didn’t feel I should have breasts. I immediately began to search for answers.
Online research reveals a series of causes and solutions that are uncertain and tentative. Surgery isn’t always a long term solution (and at an average of three thousand dollars much too expensive for a low income musician like myself.) I’ve been working out at the gym on and off. I question if I starve myself and shrink my body to 150 if the enlarged nipples will go away.
I have been prescribed antibiotics and cortisone for three years because of servere eczema. When asking my established physician if my enlarged breasts could be a side effect of these medications, I was told no. I left the office with my spirit deflated and my titties still inflated.
Dealing with Gynecomastia as an adult gay male is in many ways more challenging than it was when I dealt with it as a confused teenager.  I am a Floridian who is too terrified to enjoy the beach. I am a sexually active being who freezes while receiving oral sex as my partner begins to lift up my shirt. I cringe at the nightclub when my friend goodheartedly twists my nipple and laughs in delight when there’s more there than she expected. Every night I look in the mirror and feel betrayed by my body. Against my will my body has challenged my masculinity.
I considered waiting to write this piece until there was a happy ending. Perhaps in two years I will no longer be on antibiotics and because of this my nipples will shrink. Perhaps I will lose weight and the issue will be resolved. Perhaps I will save up for the surgery. It would have been much easier to write about this without quarter-sized lumps constantly mocking my manhood.
Instead I am confused, embarrassed, and scared. Could anyone love me with my shirt off? I fear that someone who might have taken an interest in me will now turn away.
I have man boobs. They aren’t huge. You can’t notice them from all angles but I know they are there and because of this if I find it hard to leave my room.
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I can definitely sympathise. I thought it was interesting how much this has in common with a lot of trans male narratives (only, add binding [in summer - bonus!] and about $4k to the surgery). Best of luck to you!
thanks for taking the time to read :)
Jeremy, I work within the plastic surgery community and have seen lots of cases of gynecomastia and from the picture you’ve posted, you do not exhibit the same symptoms. You might want to consider coming at your problem from a different angle. Here are the symptoms of Body Dysmorphic Disorder:
Obsessive thoughts about (a) perceived appearance defect(s).
Obsessive and compulsive behaviors related to (a) perceived appearance defect(s) (see section below).
Major depressive disorder symptoms.
Delusional thoughts and beliefs related to (a) perceived appearance defect(s).
Social and family withdrawal, social phobia, loneliness and self-imposed social isolation.
Suicidal ideation.
Anxiety; possible panic attacks.
Chronic low self-esteem.
Feeling self-conscious in social environments; thinking that others notice and mock their perceived defect(s).
Strong feelings of shame.
Avoidant personality: avoiding leaving the home, or only leaving the home at certain times, for example, at night.
Dependent personality: dependence on others, such as a partner, friend or family.
Inability to work or an inability to focus at work due to preoccupation with appearance.
Decreased academic performance (problems maintaining grades, problems with school/college attendance).
Problems initiating and maintaining relationships (both intimate relationships and friendships).
Alcohol and/or drug abuse (often an attempt to self-medicate).
Repetitive behavior (such as constantly (and heavily) applying make-up; regularly checking appearance in mirrors; see section below for more associated behavior).
Seeing slightly varying image of self upon each instance of observing a mirror or reflective surface.
Note: any kind of body modification may change one’s appearance. There are many types of body modification that do not include surgery/cosmetic surgery.
Body modification (or related behavior) may seem compulsive, repetitive, or focused on one or more areas or features that the individual perceives to be defective.
I know your pain, when I started to go through puberty I developed man boobs. I am not 32 years old and I will not take my shirt off in public
First off, thanks for bearing your soul (and chest) to bring up such a personally painful topic.
Secondly, I have a friend who was obese during his teen years. He lost about 40 pounds during a year abroad in Germany by “doing a lot of coke.” Despite his constant (and potentially dangerous) cardio workout routine, he still had some fat deposits in his pecs. This continued to plague him until he finally had surgery a few years ago. Last summer, I saw him with his shirt off for the first time.
Third, people find a wide variety of body types attractive. I did a performance once that ended with me standing in my underwear under a spotlight. Afterwards, someone came up to me and told me how hot my body was. Surprised, I asked for clarification. He responded that he liked my large nipples. I’ve always thought my nips were a bit on the large size, larger than a quarter, but decided I didn’t care. Hearing that this attractive guy thought they were hot was a great shot in the arm.
Fourth, perhaps you’re vegetarian and eat a lot of soy? I hear soy can cause “man boobs”. I have been veg for nearly 20 years and sometimes fear that I carry a bit of extra fat between my pecs and skin due to all those pseudo-estrogens from the tofu I eat.
Fifth, have you thought about building up the muscle under your “man boobs” to perhaps fill them out a bit and add more shape? Could work.
Finally, and most importantly, love your body, love yourself. If you simply cannot find it within yourself to do so, find someone who loves your body and cling on to them for dear life. ;-) If you can’t shake it, consider surgery. Sometimes spending thousands of dollars on yourself is just what you need to feel better about yourself. Of course, I’m not advocating this in the least, but it seemed to work for my friend.
Best of luck to you, and thanks again for continuing to share such amazing perspectives on life with TNG!
To look at the bright side of this: those of us who love nipples will simply view yours as having more to nibble/stroke/tease/twist/generally adore. Embrace your nips! It’s an old cliche, but it’s true: nothing’s more sexy than confidence and a willingness to laugh at yourself. By publishing this article, perhaps you’re well on your way:-)
Hmm… hard to tell, but that picture doesn’t seem to be what I’d call “man boobs”. Looks nice and normal, although a single picture isn’t enough to tell I suppose.
Occasionally, I am reminded of the fact that variety really is the spice of life. I’ll see someone less attractive than myself but seemingly happier, and I say to myself “wow, that’s cool, that’s the way to be… there really isn’t anything to worry about because, imo, that person doesn’t have anything to worry about objectively… and objectively I’m just as good looking, so what am I worrying about?”
I sort of have the opposite problem: small pecs. Ok shape but small. Takes me a lot more work to get them to bulk a little. That and my legs are skinny. Too skinny I think.
It would be cool if we could be proud of our physical idiosyncracies… after all, it’s a little arbitrary anyway… who has more hair, harder pecs, even bigger dicks. None of these things have really mattered in the course of human history. Healthy, well-adjusted people have always gone about their business… living, surviving, thriving.
jeremy – you have a beautiful body and delicious nipples… even though i know you don’t find them that way yourself. it’s the hardest thing in the world coming to like what we see when we look in the mirror – I hope someone will take your nipples and “man boobs” and give them the love and pleasure they deserve…
you gots nothing to worry about… i have seen man boobs before and i don’t think your chest looks abnormal in any way. is it possible you still are hung up about it from when you were younger? if you really feel like you do… it could be too many hormones. try eating organic and stay away from milk and chicken with hormones in it. <3
there is nothing wrong with your chest, but if ur unhappy just go get lippo, u’ll be happier in the long run
as a gay transguy I can relate to this alot. Loving your body can be impossible, especially with ridiculous twink culture being shat on you.
That said, your body is fine, seriously. Maybe i haven’t felt it but it looks the same as the next guy. At least Your ‘pecks’ don’t take up half your torso. Work out and forget about impossible body standards. At least you’ve got a cock and a normal hip waist ratio.
I’m 16 and have the same kind of issue, I’ve got a really high metabolism so I weigh less than quite a few girls I know which is funny, at first. I went to the gym for a quarter of a year and developed muscle really really quickly. The muscle behind my large nipples made them 10x easier on the eye. So know I’m off the gym, and the muscle isn’t fading away, and I’ve grown to love my thick nips. They’re something interesting and different about my body and it does nothing for you to hate them. I live in sunny Sydney and are now proud to take off my shirt at the beach :).
Hi, I’m suffering with this man boobs too. And I’m 17.
But i think, masturbation is the problem? I think the hormones.
Try to minimize it, maybye it will work.
Your story totally hits at home for me. im a thin athletic guy with these small egg sized lumps under my nipples. My nipples look stretched and pooch out. its not fun to live with and is always sitting there in the back of my mind. Its the first thing i look at when i look at my self. Ive finally decided on getting plastic surgery and your right its defiantly expensive but how i see it is that my condition is bound to get with age and extra weight. its about time for me to reclaim my life.
You should just go to the beach anyway. Go every day until you don’t feel self conscious anymore. Its amazing how much better you can feel about yourself when you realize that everyone has already seen your faults and still acts and feels exactly the same way.
You could also do what I do when I’m obsessing about some unobtainable boy. Every time I think about him, I do 10 pushups. If I think about him in bed at night I save them up and have to do them in the morning. Whether you still have moobs in a month or not, your guns will look amazing after 200 obsession pushups a day.
I can relate to everything you said.
I have birth defect which causes my chest to sort of “dip in” slightly in the middle, and it has the unpleasant side effect of making it seem as though I have man boobs, albeit very small man boobs, but moobs just the same. In points where I’ve dipped to incredibly low bodyfat percentages it hasn’t really been an issue, but the other consequences of being at that low of bodyfat (and what I did to keep myself there) don’t really seem worth it.
So for now, I’m shifting my focus from cardio to weightlifting to see if increasing my chest’s muscle mass enough will help the issue, otherwise I may just end up getting cosmetic surgery when I’m older. I am very tired of keeping a relatively trim shape and being embarassed to wear formfitting clothing because of my “bitchtits.”
Dude, I know exactly how you feel because I felt and was in the same situation (minus the gay part, of course). I’m in my late twenties and have yet to done the surgery, but for now I bought six gyno shirts from Amazon. They are the best thing I have ever bought! I suggest you do yourself a favor and buy yourself a few of those shirts, no need to keep fearing being ‘discovered’ (at least, outside the bedroom). Then save for your surgery and get it done!
Hope this helps man.
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