This post was submitted by Michael

Pee-shyness might very well be a symptom of gayness.  For some reason, I had a hard time peeing in public bathrooms.  Hanging out in a room filled with other guys with their hands on their dicks is a great way to excite and yet mortify a young, blossoming gay guy.  In the second grade, I had the cojones to tell my mom that I had a hard time going to the bathroom at school.  She, of course concerned, bought me an over-the-counter laxative.  I should have been more specific.  While I still had problems peeing, I had no problem getting up in the middle of our third lesson to rush to the bathroom stall.

I also link my ability to pee in men’s rooms now with my increased comfort with my sexuality.  Maybe it’s also linked with the fact that I no longer go to the bathroom in places filled with guys my age.  At least not sober.  Though I’m able to, I rarely pee standing up.  Especially at work, I find myself heading to the stall.  Being someone who was pee-shy, I’m always concerned about what the others in the bathroom are thinking when they hear me sit and stand without rattling the toilet paper roll or struggling through flatulence or even pushing out a super firm stoolie.  So I spend a lot of time thinking of reasons why no one should assume that someone should be standing to pee.  Here’s what I’ve come up with.

1. I’m tired and I need a break.  Can’t a guy take a break every once in a while?
2. I’m checking my email on my iPhone
3. or playing Words with Friends,
4. or doing the NY Times crossword puzzle
5. or checking Facebook and I don’t want to drop my iPhone into the urinal.
6. It’s much cleaner, and I don’t want anyone to have to clean up my urine splatter.
7. I’ve recently had butt sex, and who knows what might happen if I loosen up the wrong sphincter.
8. Maybe I am still pee-shy.  No judgments please.
9. Maybe I have a PA (link NSFW) and can’t do it without making a huge mess.
10. Or maybe I have a vagina.

You never know who is in the stall next to you in the men’s room.  If you don’t hear them dropping a deuce, think for a second before judging them.

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