TNG’s newest NYC contributor Nick bring you this post.

Can someone tell me why it’s autumn all over again? Just as I decided my legs were Williamsburg-white enough to wear jean shorts, I am back in my winter gear (that gear being a light hoodie, of course). Don’t worry though, next week will supposedly resemble, you know, the transition from spring into summer, but for now let’s stay inside and get sweaty in doing so. Not through your fancy Internet websites, though – don’t shit where you eat and Brooklyn is absolutely covered in feces.

Thursday

• Fabulius.com will help host GUMBO – the gay dance party in, where else, DUMBO at the relocated Galapagos (16 Main St. at Water St.) Need a haircut? Need a tee to display your prideful tendencies? GUMBO has got you covered. Free hair-a-dids by the resident stylist and if you’re one of the first 30 attendees, you get a hand-crafted ‘I *Fab* Bkyln’ tank top. Oh, did I mention admission is free? The party starts at 9:30 and ends in the wee hours of Friday morning (You were going to call out anyway…) For more info, go here.

• To continue the night of free, experimental-rock band The Big Sleep will be making their live return at The Mercury Lounge (217 E. Houston St.) and for no cost. Doors open at 11:45 and admission is first-come, first-serve as well as 21+. Prepare to get amplified!

Friday

• Remember when MTV2 had those $2 concert shows that were pretty much a disaster? Well, this is nothing like that, but hey, it’s a dollar to attend: “Planet Rocka” at Webster Hall (125 E. 11th St) will display the DJ skills of techno god-geek Moby and chillwave curators Neon Indian, among others and yes, admission price is $1 with an RSVP. Be sure to arrive before midnight though, as that cover charge will turn into $15 once the clock strikes twelve. (Admission to the event is 19+ but the offer is only extended to those over 21 – RSVP here.

• To all riot-grrls who missed the riot-grrl era by fault of birthyear: get a taste of the experience at DIY venue MONSTER ISLAND BASEMENT (128 River St. at Metropolitan Avenue, Williamsburg). Todd P, the god of Brooklyn underground and creator of the venue,  will bring together bands from the two most important cities of modern-garage punk – New York City and San Francisco and all featured bands have girls that could easily destroy me. San Francisco natives The Fresh and Onlys, as well as some of Brooklyn’s best: The Babies, Golden Triangle and Coasting will aid in the gradual destruction of yr eardrums (and for good reason!) Doors are at 8pm, tickets are $8 at the door and all ages are welcome to attend. (Note: this venue is a sauna.)

• Controllers of alt-rock radio Passion Pit will soundtrack the stars with a DJ set at The Museum of Natural History (W79th St. and Columbus Ave.). The event, One Step Beyond, will offer cocktails and trip-inducing lunar visuals to justify that spinning feeling you’re getting. Doors are at 9pm, tickets are $25 and you must be 21+ to enter

Saturday

Music, music, music… everyone is making it and most of them aren’t likeable, so allow me to fish the gems out of that musical dump for you:

• Indie-rock visionaries The National will use the spine-tingling acoustics of Brooklyn’s Academy of Music (30 Lafayette Ave.) to their advantage with a special headlining show at the Howard Gilman Opera House. Come see the intimate evening while you can, because next stop: Madison Square Garden! (Doors: 9:30 pm, all ages, $25)

• Is The National too big for you? Alt-country rockers Dr. Dog have a fair balance of mainstream and indie credentials! They will be headlining Terminal 5 (610 W56th St.) with the equally exquisite Deer Tick. Fuck yeah, folk. (Doors: 8pm, all ages, $22)

• Continue your DIY-music support with a look into the other side of the lo-fi spectrum: sloppy electro-experimental dance. These are Powers, Aa and True Womanhood will bring the dancing that will cover you in sweat that’s not yours. Art, dance, trash, whatever – it’ll be intoxicating! (Secret Project Robot – 210 Kent Ave. Williamsburg – Doors: 8pm, all ages, $10)

• Are your eyes hungry for something that’s not steroid-abused flesh? Get out of those dim lights for once and into some intense psychedelic glow. The Joshua Light Show will continue its resident lightshow at The Abrons Arts Center (466 Grand St. in the Lower East Side) with electro-folkish acts Dean & Britta and Spectrum as performers. Those that have epileptic fits, this may be a bit overwhelming for you. (Doors: 8pm, all ages, $20)

Sunday

To cap off your weekend of auditory damage – to shave the last bit of cilia off out of your cochlea, you’ll need something epic. That epicness comes in the form of a hipster-friendly, gay-icon-without-the-gay female and her posse.

• Metric will take a break from whatever force brought them to the Lilith Fair to bring ‘stadium love’ to Terminal 5 (610 W56th St.) Emily Haines will be sure to make many question their self-defined sexualities with her sexually-suggestive gliding and seductive chanting. Band-of-the-moment Bear in Heaven will warm you up with their electronically enhanced vibrations. (Doors: 7pm, all ages, $25)

That underwhelming sensation you’re missing from Manhunt cannot compete with the potential of such a musical orgasm – skip the post-sex regret and humiliation!

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