This post was submitted by Andrew D

While this year’s Winter Olympics on NBC has been one of the most watched Winter Olympics to date, in the gay community I’m hard pressed to find others who have been watching with the same diligence as myself. I’m not a sports person per se, however I do watch the Olympics because I’m a proud American. For me it’s about being able to say “In your face Norway” or “In your face South Korea!” That truly never gets old!

Two weeks ago I watched Vancouver’s opening ceremony and overall it was fun and enjoyable. A journey across the vast nation starting on the east coast and finally arriving in Vancouver that depicted various stories of the different regions, which are as diverse as our own regions here in the U.S., almost. Aside from the weird plains segment where the uncaged circus boy flew across the stadium doing aerial acrobatics from illuminated billowing grass square to illuminated billowing grass square, the array was fun and engaging. It was no China, but nobody expected Canada to pull that out of their Mountie’s hat. But I’m really not here to talk about the opening ceremony because with its few dull moments, it was still pretty palatable and interesting, I’m here to talk about what happened last night!

Sitting down to watch a bit of tube before drifting off to bed I turned on the Olympics as I’ve been doing for the last two weeks. Forgetting that they ended Sunday, I was treated to a segment of the closing ceremony where Michael Bublé was serenading an audience who were again cloaked in the white ponchos to complete the projection screen in the round effect, and what appeared to be blinking foam reindeer antlers??? Then it happened… I began to laugh uncontrollably at the unbelievable embarrassment that began to roll itself onto the ice: the symbols of Canada.

It began with thirty foot tall inflatable Mounties pushed by actors dressed as Mounties who then proceeded to do a dance number. This was quickly followed by thirty-foot cardboard cutouts of hockey players brought on by actors dressed as hockey players who then proceeded to play hockey with a little boy dressed as a hockey puck. Next, you guessed it… giant maple leaves, or women dressed as worms of some sort with maple leaves on their back appearing like some kind of strange butterflies. Then came lumberjack’s in two man canoes dancing around the stage followed by giant inflatable beavers pushed by lumberjacks, then giant inflatable moose that were floating. And to finish that segment you put Michael Bublé on top of a giant Mountie hat. I actually thought there were drugs in my water for a moment. It just kept getting better. I was laughing so hard I was brought to tears and quickly developed several theories as to how this happened.

1. The Canadians saw an episode of the Simpson’s or Family Guy where this was parodied and took it as a serious suggestion, actually making it happen.
2. They spent 7/8 of their budget on the opening ceremony and this is the only closing ceremony they could afford on 1/8 of the budget.
3. Somebody decided that the Canadians should do their own version of the Macy’s Day Thanksgiving parade on Ice.
4. Pot is legal in Canada.

So apparently i missed a large portion of the program involving songs by Avril Lavigne, Nickelback, and Alanis Morrisette among others, but the brief bit that i caught in all of it’s inflated glory was quite enough. You can read about the rest here.  I don’t have anything against Canadians personally but I can’t help but continue to laugh when Canada does things like this. You may have won more gold medals than us this year and beat us in both Men’s and Women’s hockey but you still put multiple giant inflatable beavers on the ice in the Olympic closing ceremony (We still won the most medals overall this year). Really Canada? Really?

Sorry Nora.

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