In The Ladies' Room: No Thanks, I Do Not Want Your Organic Cous Cous
The trees represent the barrenness that is life without Five Guys.
If there is one stereotype of lesbians I’ve always hated, it’s the vegetarian one. I am very, very proudly not a vegetarian. I was a vegetarian all through high school (though primarily as a dieting technique, not really a stance on animal rights) but quickly went back to my meat eating ways after my first rugby match in college. Also when I realized that if I wanted to eat in my college’s dining hall and didn’t want to eat tofu, it was time to start eating meat again. After depriving myself for four years, I realized that meat was glorious. I made a few attempts to stop eating meat after that, but I would just quite literally forget that I was a vegetarian.
But I didn’t really start to dislike the vegetarians until I started dating this girl we’ll call “Ali.” She was super activisty, used to have dreadlocks, worked on an organic farm (which meant free raw milk and goat cheese for me) and, of course, was a vegetarian. It probably wouldn’t have really been a problem except for the fact that our relationship was already insanely dysfunctional and not only was she really, really pushy about being a vegetarian, she was really, really insistant on making me eat healthy foods (like vegetables) and not meat. Which I hated. Not to mention all my vegetarians friends who have suddenly gotten “too good” for normal people foods, and insist on stretching their last dollars so they can by their organic cous cous and frozen vegetables at Whole Foods, rather than Giant.
Anyway, I’m pretty sure that’s where my distrust and disliking of vegetarians came from. It’s terrible, but if you’re a vegetarian, I’m going to like you a little bit less. At least until you prove that you aren’t going to constantly guilt trip me for eating meat or be really self-righteous about it. So, you probably have an idea of how I reacted when my girlfriend told me she wanted to become a vegetarian.
First off, I was kind of annoyed that I suggested going to the zoo, because that was what sparked the whole thing. Secondly, I was a little bit cranky, because I knew this was something I was going to have to do too. And after realizing that, I was sad. For my girlfriend and I becoming “that” lesbian-vegetarian-cat-having couple was never, ever something that was on the agenda. I like not fitting into the lesbian-vegetarian mold; I like getting gift cards to steakhouses for my birthday. But this was something my girlfriend really wanted to do; she knew it would help both of us eat healthier, and she knew that was something that we both needed to do. So, we became vegetarians.
I started eating my lunch time burritos without chicken, and on pizza day, I got a slice of cheese and a slice of spinach and artichoke. We had salads for dinner. But then I got a new job, and I wanted to celebrate. And I wanted beef shawarma. So I got beef shawarma. But that was just for a day — it was a special treat, a single exception to my new vegetarian lifestyle. Except then, a few days later, I had to give my two weeks notice, which was really stressing me out. So afterwards, I decided I deserved Five Guys. And it was pretty much then that I stopped being a vegetarian.
Here’s the thing: I just like eating meat. I like junk food. And while my girlfriend is still going strong, there’s just no way I can do it. Not only do I not enjoy it, it’s just something that doesn’t mesh with my personality. I spent my high school vegetarian days consisting off of Diet Coke, Easy Mac, white rice and that’s about it. It wasn’t healthy in any way, shape or form; it was simply an affective way to keep my weight down. I’ve never been able to eat tofu or anything made out of soy. Not to mention the fact I don’t really like fruit or vegetables, it’s just not really the lifestyle for me. I like crappy, crappy junk food. I like greasy pizza. I had a pulled buffalo sandwich this weekend and it was amazing.
So while I’m done with being a lesbian vegetarian, my girlfriend isn’t which means I can’t really go around cursing lesbian vegetarians more, since I’m currently with one. It’s definitely been a weird adjustment; no more Five Guys, no more trips to the steak house. But luckily, she’s not one to get self-righteous, and (at least for now) she still gets jealous while I eat a delicious deli sandwich while she picks at her spinach and feta panini. As long as she doesn’t try to make me eat a tofu-stir fry-pizza concotion, like a previously mentioned girlfriend, I think we’ll be okay.
I’m not a vegetarian, but I’m not a big meat eater either. And well, if I don’t feel like eating meat, I just don’t. I don’t ask my girlfriend to not eat meat. That’s weird. Why would I tell her what to eat? We’ve been together 13 years, and we’ve never felt like we had to like the same food.
Yea this makes a ton of sense. Eating healthy is so uncool! This is the stupidest thing I have ever read. I like you a little bit less because you are ignorant. I’m sure it’s not your fault though. It was probably the way you were raised. Double or single wide?
I agree, Mattyfantastic.
You are doing the same things those vegetarians you encountered were doing to you, judging them. and now you’re trying to write a blog post attacking them so you can defend your big mac and beef nachos?
I was hoping this article would have some valid points instead of being a whiney, pointless rant.
Thank you for sharing your heart – now can someone tell some gay men to stop trying this same vegetarian-fascist mess (‘cuz that mindset is RARELY a good look for any gender)?
Somehow this sounds exactly like my co-workers who were attempting to make me have a milkshake (I have been vegan for four years.) Anyone who is pushy or self righteous about their diets (or well about anything) is definitely not pleasant to be around.
To: Mattyfantastic, lesbianvegetarian. Please relax, perhaps if you had a cheese burger every once in a while you wouldn’t be wound up so tight.
To Amelie, while I think veggies and fruits are delicious I agree that life is just not worth it with our a little grease in it. I have a good friend who is a vegetarian (the judgment and ridicule free kind), and we can only have her over if we’re making salad, pasta, or something along those lines. I can’t imagine how hard it would be if my partner, who I cook for every day, was a vegetarian.
someone sent me a link to this. wow. she was right, this article is ridic.
what is the point of this slop?
also, i dislike this person’s attitude and totally disagree with her, but does that mean i have to hate all meat-eaters just like she hates all vegetarians because she dated one who irritated the hell out of her? nope. why? because i have a brain. a well-functioning totally vegan-fed brain. i choose to lead a healthy vegan lifestyle. others do not. that’s their business and i don’t hate anyone for their choices.
that was a waste of 2 minutes of my life, but whatever. gonna go eat some organic couscous and rehabilitate some rescued factory farm animals now… ciao!
@Mattyfantastic: “I’m sure it’s not your fault though. It was probably the way you were raised. Double or single wide?”
Your critique was thoughtfully sarcastic – until you said that. In the spirit of your sarcasm: Classism is *so* attractive and not at all, you know… ignorant.
Geez, people, reading comprehension much? She’s not viciously attacking all vegetarians OMG – she’s saying she’s prejudiced based on personal experience (and she admits that that’s bad!). Nor is she ignorant – she acknowledges that vegetarianism can be healthy (and that there are unhealthy ways to be vegetarian, gasp), and that the food she does like to eat is crap.
(Also, I always love people who take the additional time to post and bitch about what a waste of time this or that article was.)
Between religion, culture, and our nation’s obsession with any fad diet that doesn’t kill its participants in a week, food is a massively loaded issue. Amelie, grats to you and your girlfriend both for finding what works for you =)
So many people get defensive whenever vegetarianism comes up and then accuse vegetarians of guilt-tripping them when no such things happens. Deal with your own complexes and don’t pin the blame on people who choose a different diet than you.
I completely agree with Alex. Joseph Wheeler: After reading most of these comments (including yours), it becomes pretty obvious who REALLY gets defensive when vegetarianism is brought up.
One point I just thought should be made is that vegetarian does not necessarily mean healthful. There are ridiculous amounts of convenient, greasy, delicious vegan and vegetarian options available pretty much everywhere these days. We really don’t live in the Terrifying Green Casserole days anymore and not consuming animals doesn’t have to be self-depriving. You can be ethical, satisfied and maybe-occasionally-healthy-if-you-feel-like-it. ;)
Also, veg*n’s really do taste better. I’m serious.
My first reaction to this post was, “Wow, Amelie, you eat really unhealthily!” I think it would be in your best interest to start learning to enjoy a wide variety of foods, including fruits and vegetables.
I’m a strict vegetarian and my BF isn’t. I do all the cooking, so he’s basically vegetarian-by-proxy. Is he hungry all the time? Unsatisfied? No, never. When we eat out, he can order anything he wants. Do I shame him into vegetarian options? Only when he wants to share dishes with me. If we’re eating solo, he can order whatever he wants.
I’m actually torn on this situation, just a bit. I in no way want my bf to change himself for me, and I’m proud of the fact that after nearly 3 years together he’s still very much himself in a lot of respects, his diet being one of them. However, I can’t help feel disappointed (or disgusted?) when he orders a rare beef burger or chicken with mixed vegetables. Not because he’s not changing his behavior for me, but because he doesn’t share a value with me that I hold deeply to my heart.
But instead of showing this disappointment, we make it into a joke. I tell him that for each ounce of flesh he eats, he’ll have to wait one hour before I’ll kiss him again. I get the opportunity to communicate one of my concerns (tasking meat in his mouth) without judging him or his behavior.
Bus seriously, Amelie, expand your horizons. You won’t be young forever, and with all that flesh rotting in your colon,, you might not get the opportunity to share your GF’s full life with her. Now, I’m not being judgmental. Just concerned.
Bridgit: Of course vegetarians get defensive when vegetarianism is brought up and mocked (even lightly). I doubt most readers of this blog would take it in stride if they came across as a blog in which a straight person said they had dated a bisexual once, and it was kind of problematic b/c they were so pushy about queer theory, and now they like people just a little bit less when they find out that person is bisexual.
The thing is people who aren’t vegetarian feel like their being judged by those who are.
I don’t, essentially because I don’t think there’s anything unethical or immoral about eating animals. It’s part of the food chain, the cycle of life and perfectly natural. I feel no guilt about eating what little meat I do.
I think the way some of them are raised is unethical. But there are farms that are ethical, free range and antibiotic free. I think as a nation we eat more animal products than we need to.
But veganism isn’t, in of itself, morally superior. I could just as well point the poor treatment and exploitation of migrant workers on farms. Or the unfair trade practices of crops that harm underdeveloped countries. Do you know what farm your fruits and vegetables came from?
89% of soybeans have been genetically modified. I have a problem with that.
If it’s just about ethics, what matters more is where your food comes from, not what type of food it is. Save yourself the trouble of researching everything you eat, and find a local farm to buy from or a farmer’s market.
I get my cous cous from Giant, Trader Joe’s, (Whole Foods is for yuppies and trustifarians, nobody else can afford to get all their stuff from there on a regular basis) or from an ethnic store, and it is a side to some chicken.
Pushy vegetarians and vegans make me want to eat veal meatballs just to spite them. Chill ones can share my bag of potato chips or some of my carrots.
Pushy Conservatives make me want to go out and be as gay as openly as humanly possible.
Pushy Liberals make me want to talk about nuking and napalming stuff.
Pushy people just suck in general.
This post makes me hungry. Amelie, we should go to Five Guys together sometime.
Stephen, dude, you did not just compare sexual orientation to eating habits! Yeah, you did just compare human beings to food. Moral equivalence FAIL.
A more appropriate comparison would be someone who really likes bacon, sausage, ham, cheeseburgers and shellfish dates someone who’s Jewish. Do you have to convert to Judaism to date someone who’s Jewish?
@chris… My comment wasn’t literal. But actually your eating habits probably are taken from how you were raised…. So nevermind… I stand by my comment.
@ GrrrlRomeo
No, it wasn’t the best analogy, but it was one that would resonate with readers of this site more than, say, Judaism. Especially as I know plenty of Jews who eat the foods you described, making your analogy flawed for totally different reasons.
While I would agree that Amelie’s eating habits are totally unhealthy, I find the reactions to this post to be proving her point more than anything else. If you have read anything else that she has written, you would know that she is generally trying take a humorous and lighthearted approach to most subjects. She wrote a tongue and cheek piece about her own experience and in know way is trying to condemn anyone. And of course all the self-righteous vegetarians chose to take it personally.
@Michael
Arguments for vegetarianism from PETA? Really? The same misogynistic, fat-shaming lunatics who compare eating meat to the Holocaust? Not the most credible or objective source.
Amelie: Did you ever think your article would generate so much controversy?
Levi: I’m with you extremism makes me want to be extreme back at them…it’s a rough road to travel, we should discuss over 5 guys or baja fresh sometime.
Amelie–I love that a post on vegetarianism (or a lack there of) is the most controversial of the day! Love it. I too hate it when people assume Im a vegetarian because I’m queer. Cats, yes. Vegan, no. I eat healthily — and have nothing against Veg lifestyles, its just not my lifestyle and a stereotype i resent!
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