Adventures of the Boi Wonder: Campus May Be a Lonely Place
"Take me to the station And put me on a train I've got no expectations To pass through here again" --"No Expectations" by the Rolling Stones
I have been on the fence about coming to my college’s gay student group since the beginning of first semester.
…It is now the middle of second semester and I still haven’t made up my mind whether or not to really start attending. Personally, I don’t really like groups in general (people make me very nervous, a group of people I don’t know makes it worse), especially groups of my peers. However, it would be nice to maybe find some solidarity that is more readily available than having to go the way into the city, and possibly make friends on campus. At least it would be cheaper than the cost of metro fare, not to mention the time and energy to get to and from the nearest metro station (a significant venture in itself). I should give it a chance, right? I thought that, but in my typical “research before jumping in” I came across something that only made me feel more uneasy.
The official description of my college’s particular student group is this:
“An organization for gay, lesbian, bisexual and straight students. Provides support and social opportunities as well as educates the college community on homosexual issues.”
Yeah. Needless to say that I kind of feel out of place being a trans person…Even if I do happen to be queer, but even that sort of feels outside their sphere when I read that. Where’s the GLBTQIXYZ/Queer Alphabet Soup?! What about the rest of us in the community? Was this intentional or accidental? I’m almost afraid to ask (actually, I probably am to afraid to ask).
It doesn’t help that I’ve had some bad experiences with trying to bring up the transgender topic in GLB student groups. The members of my high school Gay-Straight Alliance were wholly ignorant on trans people and trans issues, as well as openly making gross and transphobic jokes and comments, and any attempt made to educate or correct them went unheard and unrecognized. Then again, it was high school. We all know how high schoolers can be, whether they be queer or straight. But this is college (granted, a community college, but still a college), it is suppose to be different, right?
Maybe I should still try to go….Maybe I’ll be surprised, after all, I could just be acting paranoid as per usual. But do I want to risk being a token? Do I want to risk being open with my trans status in a group with an unknown acceptance level in my “Information travels quick”-area?
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I’m not sure exactly what you mean by “official”, but if it’s “what’s registered with the college” (which extra-curricular groups frequently have to submit), it could be dumbed-down for the sake of getting it through administration and/or simply dated. Having worked for the pride group at UM, I can assure you there’s always plenty of bureaucracy to go around.
I’m hoping that is the case. What I meant by “official” is that is the description of the group on the school website.
I still have to do a lot more research/stalking before I feel comfortable enough.
Levi–I know that you arent the most outgoing of people, but maybe you could take this as an opportunity not only for your own grown, but maybe in educating others. If theres a college level group that isnt trans aware or trans accepting, perhaps just your existence at the group could change the atmosphere. Totally go. If its lame it will make a great story (like the Rainbow Alliance at my college which consisted of a straight professor and a straight female student who had no social skills whatsoever.)
Having run a handful of GLBTQ groups, language is always a challenge. I’ve finally settled on “Queer” as a blanket description for sexualities that are alternative to heterosexuality. It’s not my favorite word, but alphabet soup is a turnoff for many potential members, and the soup in question tends to grow exponentially. In other words, don’t read too much into the boilerplate description. See if you can talk personally to the person running the group–chances are always good that the person running it is more responsible than any particular member and they may be able to give you an honest assessment of the sexual politics of the group and whether or not it seems like there is already a place for you. If there isn’t, they will almost certainly make a place.
Don’t fear the groups. They can be a great source of friendship and solidarity. It’s extremely rare that these organizations are trans-unfriendly. Good luck!
have you thought about getting in email contact with them? maybe one of the group who is a trans person could meet you at a cafe on campus and you could ask these questions?
campus groups have a lot going for them… like all groups, there’s always the messy politics and personalities… but if you recognise maybe yr fears are there telling you that acceptance and belonging are important to you, and that you’ve been hurt before, then you can be aware of that when you go in, but also understanding that you’ve survived that before too – so this time yr stronger and wiser and you have a better idea of what you need to be looking for…
good luck! i remember well that feeling in the stomach about making contact… for me it was really worth it. but that was as a white queer male so I appreciate the concerns you have… – keep us opdated ok?
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