This post was submitted by t

The college I attended offered co-ed bathrooms. Aside from my excitement about my new-found ability to flaunt how liberal my school was, I didn’t think much of this unique setup. That is, until one night, before I had come out, when I went on a horrible co-ed date. I thought the bathroom might offer me a safe escape, but just when I thought the date couldn’t get worse, he said he had to go too and followed me in. It was bad enough suffering through dinner with this guy – now I had to pee next to him?! Unacceptable. Dating women takes this issue to a whole new level.

In girl world, you need a buddy to go to the bathroom. But what if you’re a loner or on a date? If you’re dating someone of the same-sex, do you forever lose that sense of safety or privacy in the bathroom?

No! There are options.

In private: For those who are particularly modest or playing it safe in new relationships, if the bathroom is positioned to maximize embarrassment, i.e. in the middle of the apartment -or worse- in the bedroom, turn on the water in the sink so she can’t hear – giving you a bit more privacy. Also, shower separately (if the intent is just to get clean) to maintain your sense of modesty and space. Try not to ogle your partner while she’s dressing after a shower. It shows her you respect her body. Even if it feels old-school, it can be nice to maintain some sense of privacy. Plus it can add the allure of forbidden fruit.

In public, remember this rule of thumb: unless it’s a booty call, don’t be the jerk who follows your date in.

If it’s unavoidable and you have to go beside each other, flush first to muffle the sound. Or if you’re not into wasting water or time, talk loudly with each other to distract from what you’re actually doing, etc. You could also just take turns in the bathroom to retain a sense of modesty. But, I know, I know, asking your date to wait outside (in a multi-stalled bathroom) is weird. It’s either rude because she has to sit alone til you return, or it suggests you’re doing something you don’t want her to hear. Awkward. If you suck it up and go together though, what if you get stage fright, or worse, pass a little gas?! What if you actually just wanted to get away from her? Or what if you wanted to freshen up? Let’s face it, the bathroom is a total mood killer.

Or is it?

Picture this – you’re on a date. It’s going really well, just the right amount of flirting. Conversation’s flowing, you’re agreeing where it counts, laughing, your hair looks good tonight, her smile makes you giddy, your legs touch coyly beneath the table. Maybe your mind wanders to u-hauling…The wine kicks in and you politely excuse yourself to the restroom. Next thing you know, she’s followed you into the bathroom and she’s all over you. Do you stop to think about the germs or the old lady exiting the handicap stall? Hell no! You take advantage of the newly vacant space and ravage your woman! You are a sex goddess – the bathroom is your temple. And then what?…tip the waitress and flee! or stay and bask in your date, feeding each other dessert.

For different people the bathroom can mean different things – a modest person’s conundrum or a horny couple’s asylum. What will it be for you?

Getting Awkward:
Sarah says, I was hanging out with this girl, who I thought was really cute. When she asked me to come to the bathroom with her I started to get excited, thinking maybe she was into me too! She went into the stall and I stood by the sink nervously waiting for something to happen. She was talking to me the whole time and suddenly I started smelling something gross… apparently she actually just wanted someone to keep her company… and I was over my crush.

Hannah says, I was in a bar and observed two girls go to the bathroom together. While the straight one was peeing, the gay girl stood up on the toilet in the adjacent stall and watched her go. Soo creepy! Unfortunately, the straight girl assumed she was doing this because she was a lesbian and now thinks all gay people are perverts.

Anonymous says, I was at lunch with my girlfriend when all of a sudden we just got so into each other, the tension was too much to bear – we had to have each other. But we were at lunch and had no place to go…so we snuck into a staff-only bathroom of the food court in the building across from my office. It was sooo hot. 15min later we left giggling, hoping we didn’t look too guilty! Now I’m thinking – the more public the better!!

This is a place for your stories. Next week’s article will be about Fancy vs. Fashion Lesbians. Have you heard these terms? Maybe you’ve heard other ones? Is the sex different? What do you have to say? Send me your thoughts! t@thenewgay.net

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