This post was submitted by Zack Rosen

The Indie Rock Fag is Zack’s Thursday music and culture column. Please be nice to it.

Washington DC’s got weddings on the mind. As our courthouse doors flung wide open yesterday for couples with matching genitalia or gender identities to tie the matrimonial knots (hopefully around their matrimonial bedframes,) I’ve been left, again, with the realization that a real, honest-to-Fred-Phelps wedding is something I will actually have to consider in my life plans.

But I know that just because I can do it doesn’t mean that I’ll do it like everyone else. As much as I chuckle at the prospect of my best male friends traipsing around in purple taffeta groomsmen dresses, I know that my relationship still lies largely outside the conventions of society and so my eventual wedding should do the same. I don’t (necessarily) mean that I will coast down the aisle naked on a KY slip n slide, but I will make damn sure that my wedding both has my own tastes reflected and will not bore my guests to the point of hanging themselves in the bathroom with a lacy “Zack’s getting married” gift bag.

I think the easiest way to do this is to make sure that they aren’t bombarded with four hours of “We are Family” and “I Feel Good” in lieu of actual personal musical choices. At the same time, there will be older relatives in attendance and a first dance to the likes of Crystal Castles or Battles might send dentures and pacemakers a-flying. So, below, are my suggestions for romantic songs that one can slow dance to at a wedding while not feeling like you’re stuck in the preview for a Nora Ephron movie.

(Four quick notes: These are slow-ish dance songs, not drunk revelry songs. They are not gay or gay themed, as I’ve covered that already. I’m leaving out the obvious Book of Love because Stephin Merritt sings it and he can even sound sad when he’s happy. And yeah, I’m not married but do think that these songs would fit the kind of wedding I’d like to have.)

1. Talking Heads, “Naive Melody (This Must Be The Place.)”

“You’ve Got A Face With A View..”

This was my favorite love song even before I saw the above Stop Making Sense version where David Byrne dances with a lamp. I think that this song, an ode to the simple pleasure of living with someone, is all about the perfection of combination. The way that the moog combines with the lyrics, the joy combines with the everyday, and a perfectly articulated message of live combines with the wordless “oohs” at the end to just let you know that someone’s happy. Of course, I’d have to dress my husband up like a lamp for our first dance, so maybe it’s not for everyone.

2. New Pornographers, “Go Places.”

“For the glue to dry on our new creation…”

A lot of songs on this list are here because they fit my criteria for why I’d want to permanently join my life with that of another person. And this one distills it down to its essence, which is that you should add just as much to another’s life as they do to yours. This song reminds of nothing less than an outstretched hand, trying to convince the almost-believer about the awesome things ahead. And goddamn if this list isn’t getting a lot soppier than I meant it to be.

3. Kate Bush, “Hounds of Love”

“Well here I go…”

This song resonates with me in several ways, including my occasional yells of “It’s in the trees! It’s coming!” at the moment of sexual climax. While some people get into relationships with the ease of a hotdog down a hallway, or a gerbil in Richard Gere, there is something about the abandonment of self that is utterly terrifying. Instead of ignoring that fact with some Billy Joel ivory-tickling, I respect song like this. For all the people with vestiges of cold feet at the altar, it’ll say to you “Yeah, I know this frightening. But you might like it if you just let go.”

4. Flaming Lips, “Do You Realize”

“Instead of saying all of your goodbyes…”

The Jewish tradition of breaking a glass at the moment of marriage is not an exaltation, but rather a reminder that there is no joyous event in this world that does not run concurrent with someone else’s sorrow. This is also why most of my childhood birthday parties were held at cemetaries with a birthday cake that said “tick tock” in vanilla frosting. The musical equivalent of this sentiment, Wayne Coyne’s constant repetition that “everyone you know… will die” is actually pretty in place with a love song. It’s just a reminder to live every day to your fullest and let the people around you know how you feel about them.

5. ELO, “Strange Magic”

“Nothing really worth quoting here…”

While this is about my favorite song ever, I will acknowledge that there are two very unromantic things about it: The first are the LSD overdose lyrics and the second is the looming spectre of Jeff Lynne’s bearded, bespectacled visage. But when you get past those this song is just so gorgeous. And seriously — strange magic is the best damn kind of magic. Tell me you can’t imagine swaying to this with your newly betrothed.

6. Colours, “Hot Chip.”

“There’s nothing in this heart but me…”

Umm… your spouse should add color to your otherwise monochrome life? You should be confident in the things you have to offer before getting into a relationship? Ok, basically I just have a huge soft spot for this song. I’m not even entirely sure it’s a love song (it’s very much centered on the singer, not the object) but I’ve yet to listen to it without a big smile on my face. I like to think that the “bursts of color” are the kind that illuminate a life not lived alone.

7. The Lightning Seeds, Pure

“I’ve found a place I’ll never leave…”

While this one too is tinged with some sad elements, it’s also the kind of song that’s wanted to make me fall in love since before my balls even dropped. Love, and love songs, have some complications but there is something to be said for soundtracking a wedding with the sentiment that what lies ahead can be as light and uncluttered as a perfect pop song.

8. Neon Indian, Should’ve Taken Acid With You

“Touch the stars and the planets too…”

In case you haven’t picked this up, I feel really strongly that my marriage (when I embark on it) should not be the staid arrangment of “You’re Still The One” or “Just The Way You Are” but rather the beginning of a technicolor adventure that will make everything before it seem as prosaic as an episode of “Cougartown.” This Neon Indian track boasts the twin benefits of using a shared trip as a pickup line, and understanding that the line “melt our tongues and become uglued” holds as much romance and possibility as all 69 Love Songs combined.

---

First time here? See what we're all about... Get involved... Send us a tip!...

---