This post was submitted by Ben K.

So I mentioned last week that I’m on a quest to see all ten of the Oscar nominated films.  To recap, I’ve not yet seen Avatar, Inglourious Basterds, and A Serious Man, and I plan to see all of them before the awards are given.  So again, that means I’ve seen District 9, An Education, The Hurt Locker, Precious, Up, Up in the Air, and now I’ve added The Blind Side to that list (Click on the links to see my reviews of the other films).

I have to be honest, if it hadn’t been nominated, it’s likely that I wouldn’t have seen The Blind Side, and it is more likely that I wouldn’t have picked it to write about here.  And listen, I have nothing against pure Hollywood films; I love them as much as Indies, it’s just that this film didn’t look like my cup of tea. However, I love when I’m surprised by a movie I’m not interested in, some of my favorite movies have been ones that I didn’t care that much to ever see.  And after the Academy awarded it with a prestigious nomination, I knew I had to see it.  Listen, I’m human, I have opinions, but I promise dear reader that for you I would give it a shot and go in with as open a mind as possible.

I’d say it was somewhere about 45 minutes into The Blind Side that I gave a serious thought to taking off my shoe and beating myself to death with it.  But I just bought them.  And they’re really cute.  DSW- deeply discounted, but so nice.  They look good with my dress pants and skinny jeans- it just wasn’t worth it.  Here’s a photo of them.  Take my advice, stare at this photo for two hours and you will have a more rewarding experience than you would watching The Blind Side.

You’ve probably heard all of this by now, but here’s the rundown.  It’s based on the book The Blind Side: The Evolution of a Game by Michael Lewis, which I’ve been told is an excellent book on football.  It largely deals with how offensive football strategy has changed with the importance of the left tackle position.  Part of the book deals with Michael Oher, former left tackle for Ole Miss, and current right tackle for the Baltimore Ravens, and his rise from a difficult childhood to the top of the NFL.

When he was in high school, Oher, an African-American, was without a home and estranged from his crack cocaine-addicted mother, and was eventually taken in by Leigh Anne and Sean Tuohy, a wealthy white family living in the best part of Memphis.  They took him in as their own, cared for his needs, got him a tutor, and became his legal guardians.  The rest is history, and along with their other two children, Collins and SJ, the Tuohys and Oher appear to be as close a family as ever.

This is a good story, right?  If I were a producer and someone pitched it to me I’d give it the green light.  Dramatically, it has a number of layers, and talk about a happy ending.  And instead of taking the story, and the people- who I remind you are real people- and rooting them in their realities, with all the dramatic tension and joy that filled their lives at this time, writer-director John Lee Hancock turns in a bunch of tired stereotypes wandering around in a schmaltzy world of faux-inspirational rubbish.

Here’s how things break down in The Blind Side:

How would you think the projects are portrayed?  And hey listen, I get it, the projects aren’t a nice place to grow up, I’m not expecting some happy scene from Good Times, okay.  The African-Americans in this film sit around outside in the heat all day, grill out, play cards, smoke blunts, drink 40s, deal drugs, wear big gold necklaces, and carry guns.  Oh they also say things like “shorty” and “pop a cap in you”.  Of course, in addition, they drool over and harass white women, especially 40-something year-old mediocre actresses who are dressed in a bad wig and clothes meant for a 16 year old in the performance of their career that has been comprised of bad movie after bad movie.  Oops, I mean…….

Oh but don’t you worry, the white people don’t make out much better.  They also carry guns, but because they’re proud members of the NRA.  They vote Republican (and the ones who don’t have to hide it as their deep dark secret).  They are threatened by anyone darker-skinned than them, and certainly don’t want their children around one.  The rich white women think Leigh Anne (Sandra Bullock) is laughable for giving money to charity, and the poor white men cannot believe that an African-American teen is playing football with their boys.  Oh and the white teachers think Oher is a lost cause and a mute moron with not an ounce of intelligence.

Except for that one teacher who believed.  Can you believe this? What a shock that in a movie that there is that one teacher who can see what no one else can.  Tired. Boring. Yawn.

The film does everything possible to emasculate Oher, turning him into a dopy, boring, bleeding-heart who just wants to be loved.  He folds his sheets after sleeping on a couch!  He likes to push little kids in swings!  His best friend is little boy SJ- isn’t that so adorable?!  Yes, SJ, possibly one of the most annoying stereotypically rambunctious children to ever pop on the screen.

It is fine if the film wants to take a light-hearted approach to its story.  There is no problem with an inspirational film and certainly no problem with a family-friendly film.  But too often this is used as an excuse to make a bad movie.  Movies like this are as deserving of a good script and direction as the most intense dramatic films, and it is a mistake to believe that such movies cannot excel to the top.

Alright, Sandra Bullock is good in this movie, in fact I think she’s the only thing good about it.  And despite my earlier comment, I really do like her, and don’t think she’s a bad actress.  I do think that most of her films have been bad, but hey, at least she’s consistent.  But it simply is not that demanding of a role, and it most certainly is not the performance of the year.  I haven’t seen Helen Mirren in The Last Station, but I can tell you that the other Oscar nominees, Carey Mulligan in An Education, Gabourey Sidibe in Precious, and Meryl Streep in Julie & Julia turn in vastly better performances than Sandra Bullock. Not to mention that maybe the best performance by an actress I saw this year didn’t get a nomination, Abbie Cornish in Bright Star.

Precious touches on similar issues as are presented in The Blind Side.  And in many ways it employs many of the same stereotypes and clichés.  But it does so with a purpose, energy, and beauty that is never allowed in The Blind Side.  Using the conventions of filmmaking that we’ve all come to know doesn’t a bad movie make, it’s how they’re used, how the characters are presented, and how the audience is treated.

The Blind Side treats us like fools, and it’s insulting.  Such a shame, Oher and the Tuohys deserve much better, they all seem like good and interesting people.  In fact the best part of the film- the only good part- is at the end when we see the real Oher with the family who welcomed him as one of their own.  More love, adoration, and inspiration is gleaned out of those short moments than in the entire exhausting film before it.

The Blind Side is still playing in theaters and will be available on DVD on March 23.  For more information, and to view the trailer, visit www.theblindsidemovie.com.

DVD pick of the week: If you’d like to watch a film worthy of it’s Best Picture nomination, rent the wonderful Up from Pixar.  It’s funny, touching, smart, and a pure delight from start to finish.

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