This post was submitted by Levi

“Now all my friend are gonna call me mountain man

And everyone will think that I’m a stupid drifter

To walk the earth alone, I’ll never shave again”

–”Razorburn” by Lagwagon

My mind is constantly filled with thoughts that most people would consider “odd” and “random”.  I have spent entire chunks of time calculating the perfect tuna sandwich (why don’t more people think about this?), ranking Star Wars films from best to worst (at a basement concert), counting how many Woody Allen movies I have seen to completion (this was at 5 AM on a weekday … And the number is 17), and stopping in the middle of conversations to point out a breed of dog that just passed by.

I also do a lot of speculation about the future and what I want in the future.  Most people my age may think about future things like what kind of cool car they want to own, what kind of horrific names to impose on their future children or what kind of fancy job they think they are going to automatically get after graduating college.  Yeah, I consider some of those things –everyone does at some point — but they are not what tends to drift through my head and its imaginary plans.  Personally, I like to think about what kind of badass facial hair I would have one day.

Granted, I’ll have to go on testosterone to be able to even grow facial hair, and still then there is no guarantee that’s I’ll even grow any sort of decent or significant hair on my chiny-chin-chin (a lot of factors play into that, but there are plenty of cissexual guys who can’t grow any or much facial hair, like Johnny Depp for example)…But a guy can dream, right?

Here are some of my facial hair ambitions:

Of course, there would be some pretty heavy grooming and shaving skills involved with such magnificent spectacles of whiskerdom (unless I was a hamster, because mine just runs his paws on his face a few time and then he’s good-to-go) …. Yet I haven’t even learned basic shaving. I guess I’ve jumped a few (well, more than a few) steps ahead in this thought process, but such is often the nature of ambitious dreaming.

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