Comments on: Not Your Average Prom Queen: Finding a Place on the Femininity Scale http://thenewgay.net/2010/01/finding-a-place-on-the-femininity-scale.html For Everyone Over the Rainbow Fri, 10 Feb 2012 04:21:15 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1.3 By: Steph http://thenewgay.net/2010/01/finding-a-place-on-the-femininity-scale.html#comment-22821 Steph Thu, 25 Feb 2010 18:41:03 +0000 http://thenewgay.net/?p=20853#comment-22821 So glad I clicked from FB to this site, then L, then read your article! It's like you wrote about me. I don't feel masculine but I'm not feminine. I like earings but not bracelets or rings. I like nail polish but not heels. Looking back I've always been like this and I too struggled with fem friends and am I enough girl. At 42, a mom of three including one girl (yes, it takes a while for some of us to realize things!) I am now finally comfortable NOT comparing myself. Ahhhhhhh. Freedom to cut off my mom's voice from the past (cross your legs, wear lipstick, brush your hair) and appreciate who I see in the mirror and who I present to the outside world. I used to wonder did I deserve to be with a masculine woman, am I too similar? Recent relationship proved, YES! I can love and be loved as I am, as she is. Phew! Thanks for writing this article!! So glad I clicked from FB to this site, then L, then read your article! It’s like you wrote about me. I don’t feel masculine but I’m not feminine. I like earings but not bracelets or rings. I like nail polish but not heels. Looking back I’ve always been like this and I too struggled with fem friends and am I enough girl. At 42, a mom of three including one girl (yes, it takes a while for some of us to realize things!) I am now finally comfortable NOT comparing myself. Ahhhhhhh. Freedom to cut off my mom’s voice from the past (cross your legs, wear lipstick, brush your hair) and appreciate who I see in the mirror and who I present to the outside world. I used to wonder did I deserve to be with a masculine woman, am I too similar? Recent relationship proved, YES! I can love and be loved as I am, as she is. Phew! Thanks for writing this article!!

]]> By: Lauren http://thenewgay.net/2010/01/finding-a-place-on-the-femininity-scale.html#comment-21534 Lauren Wed, 20 Jan 2010 19:31:47 +0000 http://thenewgay.net/?p=20853#comment-21534 Really interesting article. I've thought about femininity and masculinity in the queer women community a lot. I've had quite the opposite experience, I've never feared being mistaken for a man. I've always wanted to be a gender-bender, but can't seem to do it. I gravitate towards more feminine things, I feel awkward in a tie, etc. But, god damn, would I be a sexy drag king (or so I think). Finding your way along the spectrum has got to be tough, which is why I think it doesn't really matter. Enjoy your feminine and masculine side. Embrace them both. Really interesting article. I’ve thought about femininity and masculinity in the queer women community a lot. I’ve had quite the opposite experience, I’ve never feared being mistaken for a man. I’ve always wanted to be a gender-bender, but can’t seem to do it. I gravitate towards more feminine things, I feel awkward in a tie, etc. But, god damn, would I be a sexy drag king (or so I think). Finding your way along the spectrum has got to be tough, which is why I think it doesn’t really matter. Enjoy your feminine and masculine side. Embrace them both.

]]> By: Drew http://thenewgay.net/2010/01/finding-a-place-on-the-femininity-scale.html#comment-21371 Drew Thu, 14 Jan 2010 21:17:00 +0000 http://thenewgay.net/?p=20853#comment-21371 Great article, Jean, and a fabulous picture to boot. While researching for my TG thesis, I came across the Peeing In Peace document (cited below), which I found interesting on multiple levels. It mentions a few of the other presence type characteristics you imply above, and it helped me to understand the barrage of social cues and non-physical characteristics that make one "masculine" or "feminine." For instance, the Women's room: The women’s bathroom is a social space. People tend to have conversations between stalls, at the sinks, and while in line. It is generally a friendly place (for those who “belong”) where people are not afraid to look at each other and smile or chat. Versus the Men's room: This is not a social space. Nobody talks or makes eye contact with anyone else. Usually folks in the men’s room stand in line in the middle of the bathroom. I always go back to the same question though, which is a bit where the thesis stuff came from anyway: what happens when you fall in the middle somewhere... not quite feminine, not quite masculine? PIP: http://www.transgenderlawcenter.org/pdf/PIP%20Resource%20Guide.pdf Great article, Jean, and a fabulous picture to boot.

While researching for my TG thesis, I came across the Peeing In Peace document (cited below), which I found interesting on multiple levels. It mentions a few of the other presence type characteristics you imply above, and it helped me to understand the barrage of social cues and non-physical characteristics that make one “masculine” or “feminine.”

For instance, the Women’s room:
The women’s bathroom is a social space. People tend to have conversations between stalls, at the sinks, and while in line. It is generally a friendly place (for those who “belong”) where people are not afraid to look at each
other and smile or chat.

Versus the Men’s room:
This is not a social space. Nobody talks or makes eye contact with anyone else. Usually folks in the men’s room stand in line in the middle of the bathroom.

I always go back to the same question though, which is a bit where the thesis stuff came from anyway: what happens when you fall in the middle somewhere… not quite feminine, not quite masculine?

PIP:
http://www.transgenderlawcenter.org/pdf/PIP%20Resource%20Guide.pdf

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