Though right now he’s best known for the fact that his giant dick is the star of Girls’ recent, x-rated “Lust for Life” music video, Bay Area musician (and former Gravy Train member) Seth Bogart also performs some pretty awesome music as Hunx. He and His Punx just released the record you see above, “Hunx And His Punx: Gay Singles” which collects the bands five out-of-print singles on vinyl. The songs are sexy enough, as standout tracks like “Good Kisser” queer up classic girl group/garage band ditties into odes about seducing a straight guy while his girls’ away, but the choice of format ramps up the seduction factor up to 12.

To put it simply, vinyl’s hot. What other way of listening to music can actually present you with a life-sized picture of what I presume is its creators’ package? You can’t handle a CD to the same satisfaction. It has no heft to it. And it goes without saying that you can’t rifle through a dusty stack of MP3’s at a dollar store. After three years of searching I finally found a cheap used record player last month, and since then I’ve been buying used LPs whenever possible. The listening experience has been a pleasurable one, but the joy goes beyond that.

Ever since I ended my Thanksgiving by rolling a giant spliff on the cover of ELO’s “Face The Music” LP, I’ve been thinking just how much of a thrill I get from keeping vinyl around. It’s too expensive to buy new releases this way, but many good record stores (especially 18th St’s Red Onion) have dollar bins of used LPs. And the music found there recalls an era that I still wish I had been a part of, even though its aftermath was certainly nothing I want repeated.

So in case you care, or you spent as much time listening to classic rock radio (70s and early 80s) as I did, here are ten awesome songs I found on Vinyl and soon hope to be playing as I make out with someone.

10. Sweet, Desolation Row

Though forever tainted by Cassandra’s performance of it in the first Wayne’s World movie, the original incarnation of Ballroom Blitz, which opens this album, contains everything about glam that I wish I could’ve lived through. The spoken introductions that sound like they come from Unicorn Planet, the vague poly-sexual menace, the use of “Oh Yeah” as a perfectly rousing segue to the chorus. As an added bonus, Desolation Row also includes a ditty called “A.C.D.C.” which is about dating a girl who goes both ways.

9. Traffic, The Low Spark of High Heeled Boys

Traffic’s ode to the revolutionary capabilities of boys in boots, from their album of the same name, creeps up on you. What at first could be mistaken for another jazzy piece of seventies schmaltz picks up steam at the first notes of Steve Winwood’s vocals and charges through verse after calamitous verse about the ways that those titular boys will oust the suits from pop culture. Besides all that, though, its long enough that you could conceivably put it on, pick up a boy, do him, make him a sandwich and have him out of your house before the final chorus even kicks in.

If you ever come across this album, you can also look at the back cover to see one of the most spectacular examples of male camel toe outside of a middle eastern desert.

8. Heart, Dreamboat Annie

While Carly Simon and Joni Mitchell remain two of the more enduring female performers from this era, absolutely nobody rocks like Heart. The albums wistful (and spank-worthy, if you’re a straight guy) cover art only hints at the absolutely mind blowing onslaught of guitars and vocals that kick off with “Magic Man,” carry on through “Crazy On You” and don’t really let up until your brains leak out past your feathered hair and the wind forever whispers “Wilson.”

7. The Best of Tommy James & The Shondells

Another artist besmirched by an unfortunate string of cover versions, Billy Idol, Tiffany and Joan Jett have nothing on the mastery of Tommy James. Their versions of Mony Mony, I Think We’re Alone Now and the above number (respectively) may be better known nowadays, but they totally miss the point. A record like this doesn’t need any layer of pop gloss because its already so tightly crafted, with such perfect adornments of jangles and female backing vocals, that you’re never going to improve on it. (There is also no smooth way to mention that this song is rumored to be about having sex during someone’s period, so I won’t.)

6. Abba, Super Trouper

The fact that bands like Music Go Music are so obviously mining the sound of Abba is an exciting one, because it takes away yet another layer of the stigma that comes with enjoying a band so shamelessly dedicated to “smiling and having fun.” I fully admit that to take off another’s pants to an accompaniment of this record probably constitutes a “Class A” sex crime, though, so we can file this one in the preludes category. A little conversation, a little white zinfandel, maybe some slow dancing. That’s how you can best enjoy this one, and by the time the needle lifts on the last track of side two you’ll be ready to get down to some more  serious business.

5. Talking Heads, Speaking in Tongues

The opposite of Super Trouper, where a rousing first track gives way to something more tender than groovy, Talking Heads’ Speaking in Tongues goes through every permutation of the funk before ending with what is arguably their most accessible and well-loved song. “This Must Be The Place” is a love song, a strong motivator for cohabitation and a top three candidate for an eventual wedding song. (I’ll let you debate the other two in comments.) “Slippery People,” “Wild Gravity” and the like are more unusual and prototypically Byrnes-ian, but this one is just so damn sweet.

4. Bob Welch, French Kiss

Despite all their drug use and incestuous coupling, Fleetwood Mac’s recent reputation has a lot to do with being a group genial, white haired seniors who played at President Clinton’s inauguration. Former member Bob Welch carries no such family-friendliness. I’ve loved the guitar-y, coke-soaked anthem to meeting some girl at a club and dreaming about “holding her close,” since I first started hearing it on the radio when I younger, but that is only half the picture. Finding it on vinyl last month let me really inspect the album art, which fills in the other gap. Welch faces the camera, wearing white pants, John Lennon  aviators and a shirt unbuttoned to last Tuesday, revealing an Alan Thicke-amount of chest hair while lighting a cigarette. If that wasn’t enough,   a woman in an extremelyi red dress puts her tongue in his ear. It’s either an undying testament to banging, or a shot from my grandparents 30th anniversary.

3. ELO, Face The Music

Not all sexy songs have to be fast. My undying love for this track, the first on the second side of “Face The Music,” mostly has to do with tension. Tension between its ostensibly gentle instrumentation and the passion in its lyrics, between subtle violin strings and the falsettoed chorus, and between the concept of sex and the appearance of Jeff Lynne. A video like this is a nice antidote to my 70s fetishization, as all the men in this band look like they would be pumping my gas on a road trip to facial hair hell. Still doesn’t change how awesome this song is, and my renewed interest in getting a tattoo of it. Any ideas of where it could go?

2. Sylvester, Call Me

It’s a damn shame that Elton John somehow got a reputation as the faggiest artist of the 70s, because the mere track list of Sylvester’s “Call Me” makes the Rocket Man look about as seamy as an episode of Blues’ Clues. Versions of “Band of Gold” and “One Night Only” sit alongside some original Sylvester tracks, and cover art that turns our singer into Grace Jones, make this whole thing into a full-out ode to gay excess. Even if we’ve outgrown some of the trappings of this time, its nice to have a record of them.

1. Andrea True Connection, More More More

More what, Andrea? I’m confused. When a former porn star names her entire album after this track about wanting “more,” because that’s how you “like it” and the video has you shimmying around in pussy-clinging hot pants and boots that practically define the concept of “fuck me” and a shirt with tassles, it just doesn’t leave a guy with enough clues. Do you want more sugar in your tea? More taxation with representation? I guess I’ll just listen about a million more times until I’m sure.