The Adventures of Wonder Boi: Underwear Failure
Photo: Hans Bruesch
“Tight briefs on your sexy butt
White fabric surrounding your nuts
Bike shorts put it on display
You’re wearing it to the left today
Sweat pants clinging to your crevice
Boxer shorts for easy access” “Groovy Underwear”
by Pansy Division
I might have fucked up with this package of cheap boxers (Fruit of the Loom, oh yeah) that I bought yesterday from my local Target. They might size too big. Granted, I did pay $7 for the pack and am trying to shrink them a bit in the dryer, but still I feel kind of stupid. At least these weren’t meant to be sexy underwear by any means (unless you dig baggy knit boxers in colors like teal, gray, and navy).
As a early-transition, non-passing (the two things are not the same, nor do they always go together) transguy, going to the men’s undergarment section to search for what I need is pretty unnerving…Even moreso when done in the town where you can easily be spotted by people who knew you as that “weird girl from school” and may be big enough assholes to spread around what kind of underwear I buy at JC Penney’s. And I can’t ask my mom that she get me some tightey-whiteys the next time she goes to get my little brother some more socks. So the whole process ends up being kind of a sneak-operation: very in-and-out and try not to draw attention to myself in any way. Because of this, attention to the product sought is not properly paid attention to and mistakes can be made, which results in money wasted and frustration.
This is by no means an exclusively transman situation, transwomen who might also be early in their transition can have a difficult time shopping (the women’s section is terrifying…At least I always thought it was when I was dragged there. And you actually have to try everything on before you buy!). Why the fear and nerves for transgender shoppers? Well, shopping in gendered sections (and using gendered fitting rooms) is kind of like the situation with gendered restrooms. Other people tend not to be comfortable or accepting of who they think don’t “belong” there. So we, the perceived outsiders, sometimes get mistreated–dirty looks, whispers and pointing, refusal of service, security called, etc. It sucks, but then again, so do a lot of people (and not the fun kind of sucking either). The best advice is to go shopping with a friend or a group of friends. There is safety in numbers; you are less likely to get singled out by the unkind shopping masses. Plus, friends can give the needed clothing critique. Maybe if I had bought a friend when I went to get underwear I would have gotten some less ugly, ill-fitting undies…And maybe boxer briefs.
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This story reminds me a lot about the recent fight in gainesville where they tried to repeal gender identity protections:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ExGBlXKRrYs
Absolutely disgusting. There really needs to be more awareness and open-mindedness towards customers of a different beat. As if clothes weren’t just clothes, anyway…
Everyone has to go with whatever s/he finds comfortable, and sometimes with whatever strikes a balance between comfort and sexiness, depending on her/his taste. This may require repeated experimentation. I say this in all seriousness: if you want someone to go shopping for drawers with, I’m available.
I have a drawer full of drawers, LOL. In an earlier period of my life, I was under a much greater financial constraint, and I had to wear my drawers until they were rags. Now, I buy drawers often. After much experimentation, I’ve settled on trunks as my preferred drawers. They tend to hold up better than boxer briefs, cover more than briefs, and don’t ride up as badly as boxers. But that’s my preference.
Asaf,
That is completely terrible. Just when you think humanity is starting to get on the right track something appears that makes me question my faith in people all over again. All we all want is to shop in peace and take a piss in peace…Which is really want everyone wants.
Kyle,
I’m hoping to experiment more with types of underwear, especially since I’m experimenting more with other clothing (shirts, jackets, cuts of pants, and even socks). It also probably helps that mostly I do my own laundry (except for the rare occasion where I leave things in the dryer after they are done and someone takes them out for me) so no one will be like “Um…Why is this in your laundry?”
I might take you up on that shopping offer sometime.
My brain has been cycling back to this article since I saw it the other day, and I couldn’t figure out why until this morning. I think it’s this: Buying men’s underwear is a perfectly normal thing for women to do.
Several men I know have NEVER bought their own britches, and wouldn’t know where to start. My best friend got all his from his mother ’til he got married, when his wife decided his boxers were all tacky and replaced them wholesale.
Chances are if you do go shopping in the Men’s underwear section what you’ll find is mothers shopping for sons, girlfriends shopping for boyfriends, wives shopping for husbands, and the occasional gay man, just browsing. Straight men will head in to the section only under duress and generally run in, grab the first thing they can find that looks like what’s in the dresser at home, and run back out.
Being comfortable in your undies is important, so you might want to check out some online retailers, like freshpair.com, or if they’re too pricy, target.com sells the same brands and varieties online that it sells in the store.
Being comfortable in your own skin is even more important, so if you need britches from the local store, feel free to waltz in, look at everything carefully, handle the merchandise, and if someone asks, tell them it’s a gift. You don’t have to say for whom, and everyone should get themselves a little present now and then.
If your boxers still don’t fit too well, (they tend not to shrink much, depending on what you bought) don’t sweat it much. Most boxers don’t. (For verification, please check out male friends. Most of them wouldn’t know boxers that fit if they saw them.) A little time with a sewing machine will make an easy tuck in the waistband, which is really the only place it matters with boxers. (You can take a tuck in the crotch of a pair of briefs, too, but it’s a good place to avoid an extra seam.
Good luck with your quest for britches, and everything else.
I hope it all fits.
-David
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