There are some new BDSM enthusiasts who believe that, in order for someone to truly dive into the lifestyle, that they must have some kind of gigantic dungeon in their basement or whatever, with gear, gadgets, and chains hanging all over the place like some porno version of Saw. It’s as if you have to have a football stadium-sized space so that you can install those expected cages, pullies, bondage tables, etc. They imagine that it gives them the proper credibility to say “Yes, I own whips and paddles and I use them.” But that’s a bunch of nonsense.

As a professional Dom, I’m lucky in the sense that I get to work in a big, beautiful dungeon in Chicago, but having that kind of atmosphere is not at all required in order to have heart-pounding, cathartic domination sessions. I even have a few slaves who prefer smaller, less-fancy surroundings because it feels closer to the people within the space rather than the space overwhelming the people. Personally, I like the big dungeon atmosphere much more, but I can definitely understand where they’re coming from.

S&M dungeons are typically portrayed as being dark and dank with metal things all over the place, racks of instruments/toys, whips hanging on the walls, black paint, etc., etc. and I have been in dungeons like this. I love that archetypical approach. But a “dungeon” or any other intimate place, can be created from any set of walls, floor, and ceiling. You don’t have to have anything fantastic in order to make a private space just as good, just as enticing, as any of those Chicago or San Francisco super-dungeons.

Be creative.

You don’t want black paint and chains? Then fuck it. Make it red or white or silver with a mattress, table, or a bondage chair that you whipped up from old furniture and Home Depot goods. Home Depot is kind of a Pandora’s box, because all you have to do is walk in there and your perverted imagination sparks up. You want to create something standard and sexy? Go for it. In the mood to make a device or installation that’s completely bizarre and unique? Then get it crackin’. You can build something amazing with not a whole lot of money – just be sure that everything is safe and that all rough surfaces have some kind of padding (…or not if you’re into that kind of punishment).

Playspaces, whether elaborate dungeons or side rooms reserved for “special purposes,” are states of mind and sacred territories. What matters is the emotion, effort, creativity, and passion of those involved. And that’s all.

I know that you’re itchin’ to create a sex den in your side office now and I think that this would be a perfect way for you to spend a couple of your holiday free days. Project time. But just be sure to keep a lock on it for when the relatives come to visit, because that’s not probably not what your aunt was expecting as a Christmas surprise.