Master Aiden is a professional BDSM Dom based out of Chicago. His “Yes, Master” column appears every other Wednesday on TNG.

I grew up outside of Detroit as the artsy kid, hanging out with the goths, the punks, the metalheads, the stoners, the alternative sexualities crowd, and that entire set. I used to be shy.  Not just sorta shy but, when I was little, painfully shy to the point that sometimes it was difficult to function.

But I never had a problem with liking guys.  Not in the slightest.

I was always a major literature and history fanboy and I knew that Alexander the Great, Leonardo di Vinci, the emperor Hadrian, the god Apollo, Richard the Lionheart, and the vampire Lestat appreciated male beauty.  Since, to me, these guys were the epitome of sophisticated male uber-power, their stories taught me that it must be completely fine if not recommended that men should at least occasionally love men, because lust trumps convention and empowered people eat the sheep people for breakfast.  Perfect! That sounds good! Sign me up, please! I love and continue to love pretty women as well so, really, I’m just kind of a greedy fucker who wants to collect all the treasures.  No apologies, no guilt.  Guilt was never really my “thing” anyway…..I prefer men, but, if I see something nice, I’m not going to pass it up.

So no Lifetime-movie-of-the-week gay son guilt breakdowns in my past, because that just wasn’t where my brain was during puberty, before, or after.  The more I could shatter the rules, the happier I was. Even if I would have turned out hetero, I’m 100% sure that I would have at least messed around with guys just for the sake of being decadent, experimental, and earning a counterculture merit badge (yes, similar to what a lot of the modern straight girls do).

No, I was never abused, but my parents and I had a distant relationship, because they thought that I might have been a Satanist (I never was! I swear!).  Although guilt wasn’t on the menu, my demons popped up in different forms: depression, self-doubt, shyness, and a certain toxic nostalgia for people and things that have passed through my life already. Those were, and continue to be, the things that I have to watch out for.

Once I got older, 19 or 20, I was no longer as shy as I had been so I became sexually experimental.  Not to a wreckless degree, but I wasn’t wearing any purity rings that’s for sure.  I became close friends with a young, professional Dominatrix who, when she wasn’t at work, enjoyed being on the other side of the riding crop.  Who better to cane you than your cute, bi, trust-worthy, goth buddy boy?

Exactly.

So she trained me to become a BDSM Master, showed me the ropes, the techniques, etc., so that I could punish her for her own pleasure.  True story.  And that’s how I became a Dom.

I was custom-created, like Frankenstein’s Monster, for a particular purpose. Of course, I loved every minute of it.

This Mistress encouraged me to go pro, since I had a natural knack for all that stuff, but it took me a while to feel comfortable playing with people that I didn’t know.  Now I’m clearly over that.  At this point, I feel more comfortable binding up a stranger than going to get my hair cut so it’s interesting how people change and how their personalities evolve.

I operate my business like everyone else who works for themselves. There are rules, there is a protocol, and I conduct myself in a certain way. I am not flirty or chatty.  My sensibilities are very “German” in a way and I value order, clarity, and conducting business as business, which sometimes pisses people off . When it comes to those who work in the adult industry, some clients may desire a likable sloppiness, desperation, and a kind of lost soul archetype (yes, just like in some of those nauseating indie movies) not a total Ice King/James Spader-with-a-whip type which is what I’ve become over the years.  Vulnerability isn’t exactly my calling card.

I like functionality, money, schedules, and having clients.  Sex, food, clothes, and BDSM toys make me happy.  I don’t like “inner children,” spirituality, yoga, your favorite aunt, or organic soaps.  I do have a soul, but it just has different needs (i.e. cash, sushi, and weekly trips to Barnes and Noble).

Regulated capitalism rocks, weepy Democrats don’t. Obama scammed your asses (admit it!), and religion exists strictly as a punching bag for me to lampoon.  Welcome to my world.

If I have any life questions, I’ll just jump over to Youtube and watch George Carlin and Kathy Griffin. The answers are only a mouse click away.

I am inspired by people like Rahm Emanuel, Anna Wintour, and Harvey Weinstein because I’m also calculating, vicious, egotistical, and ambitious.  But I embrace it and it’s all in good fun.  I’ve never been the cuddly type anyway, so there’s really no love lost…..

“Isn’t it true that people who work in the sex industry have a hard time maintaining personal romantic relationships?”

I consider what I do to be adult entertainment work but it’s a far cry from escorting.  If I were an escort or an erotic massuer, I would be making a lot more money.  I sell BDSM.  BDSM is sexy but isn’t SEX as people imagine it to be sometimes.  I’m sorry but tying someone up and whipping the hell out of them isn’t sex.  It may be the number 1 turn-on for some folks, but it ain’t sex, my friends.  My job as a Dom is very similar to being an actor but I always win in every skit (and I like that!).  As for personal relationships, I’d rather have someone sell me their soul than claim their undying love for me.  I’ve had my “committed partners” and my beautiful boys with sensitive hearts but, eventually, everything burns out, their attention spans run their courses, or they need to figure out who they are as a person (barf).  I’d rather be investing in my bank account than meeting your parents at Thanksgiving and shooting you adorable messages on Facebook.

I know, I know…..”Gosh, this guy is more evil than I thought.”  But, hey, at least I’m direct with you.  Honesty points?  Anyone?

Overall, dear readers, I’m a Dom because I was recruited for it, it suits me, and because I find BDSM to be fun and fascinating, I genuinely like my clients (yes, for real), and because I’m too much of a mega-brat to have a boss.  Being a Dom is the only job that I’ve ever had that I didn’t feel like punching someone.

Spanking them?  Yes.  Aggressively assulting them through genuine rage?  No (but I can pretend when need be).

If you’ve ever expected that the dragon people in our society secretly snuggle up with fuzzy bunnies and sing “Kumbaya” when no one is looking, well my friends, I’m here to tell you that there’s a chance that you may be wrong about that one.  Sometimes we are really as awful as you imagine us to be.

But, as I see it, the world is just a long story playing itself out.  And what’s a good story without some villains, no?