Women cry, eat bon-bons, watch “Steel Magnolias,” and have an undying love for George Clooney. We also love adorable animals, expensive (diamond) jewelry and shoes. Oh, and marriage and babies.

Of course, this list is not true of all women, some of these things are certainly true of some women, and of those true things, some apply even to me – specifically adorable animals and shoes. These stereotypes come frome depictions of women in movies and in media, jokes we (almost) all find funny on The Simpsons or The Daily Show, and comments many of us make to and about the women in our lives.

While many of these stereotypes come from some truth, there is one stereotype that I’ve seen floppin’ around over the past couple of years in which I cannot believe. A stereotype about which I see no truth. A stereotype that deeply offends me.

I’m talking about the outrageous belief that women have a romantic relationship with cleaning-related products.

Haven’t you seen these commercials with (for example) a mop lamenting its lost relationship with a woman after she replaces it with a new fancier product? Sure, maybe the women isn’t shedding tears over this breakup but the implication is strong and clear. A duster has had his heart broken by a woman. Seriously.

In advertising, men get to fall in love with a new car or a triple cheeseburger, and we get all turned on by an apple scented air freshener or an extra thick paper towel (I mean, I’m definitely not getting all hot and heavy typing these words.)

The “affection” or “love” depicted in these commercials is the product of simple logic..

Advertisers: “What do men care about?”
Fools: “Men care about cars, about women (sex) and about food!”

With these responses commercials are then crafted. We find ways to make comparison between products and emotions – suddenly we start to see commercials where men are practically fucking a burger, or caressing a car. In these images we feminize the burger and the automobile – if the burger was “male”  the man depicted wouldn’t be ravenously devouring it with an orchestra rising to climax in the background.

Advertisers: “What do women care about?”
Fools: “Women care about keeping a clean house. They also care about taking care of their husband and their children.”

In response, some commercials geared toward women involve romance (not sex usually, women don’t like sex, just romance), or a maternal instinct toward her family that a product enables. They find ways to brings together romance and keeping a clean house. They simulate an orgasm with a shampoo.

The problem with this simple logic?

It is faulty. In sooooo many ways.

1.    Some men are gay and feminizing products does not make them appealing.
2.    Men and women both have slightly deeper needs than sexual attraction or the desire to take care of their family (respectively).
3.    Women like sex. And also using a “romantic” relationship between a woman and any product is just creepy.
4.    Cleaning products in no way, shape, or form symbolize romantic or sexual items for women.
5.    Some women are not maternal and do not believe all women should be treated like they were born to be homemakers and mothers.
6.    Just so many more.

A slightly more dated commercial memory for me involves the following scenario:
Two dudes are sitting at a bar, barely enjoying a non-name brand beer. They decide/or someone offers them a couple of X name-brand beers. They crack the tops of their bottles and instantly the bar is converted to a beach, complete with Hawaiian shirts and 25-30 blond, busty girls falling all over these two oafs. This is the best moment of their lives. They cheers, and secretly promise themselves to never stray from X name brand again.

A commercial like that is/was heteronormative almost to the point of being homophobic— and certainly sexist. The girls didn’t really have a choice about being there, they only exist as a man’s fantasy (with no purpose of their own). And, like they’d ever go for these guys! (Well, maybe they would, on TV). In addition, we never saw a couple of girls bust open some beers and a gaggle of bare-chested guys come rolling out? Or a the Swedish Bikini Team. We never saw two guys suddenly surprised with a slew of sexy cowboys. At least straight guys get to enjoy sexuality in advertising, I think the last time girls got to be even a little bit sexual in a commercial was the old Diet Coke Break commercial.

None of this is fair. Advertisers think we are all they same, and that we are all stupid. Do we just suck it up? Do we boycott? Will this ever change?