Comments on: Not Your Average Prom Queen: What If I Don’t Wanna Have Babies?

By: Tony

Tony — Sat, 19 Feb 2011 05:18:19 +0000

My cousin has asked me about this. He thinks having kids is important. Me . . . not so much. It kind of goes with him wishing we could go to bars and hook up with girls, but I like boys.

I personally don’t want to add more people to this world. Adopting? Perhaps. That’s something to decide in the future.

By: Baby Sweaters

Baby Sweaters — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 23:42:26 +0000

It is good you are holding strong to your lifestyle. I chose to have two beautiful babies and I am glad I did. But it is a big change in life and you end up having to give a lot of yourself to them. If you are happy just you and your partner, it is important you life the life you want.

By: Pirl Harbour

Pirl Harbour — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 05:45:35 +0000

Thanks, I feel the same way. Since I’m older now, I realize that it has become more common for lesbians to want children. I attribute that to more financially able single women. Or for a moment there I thought that lesbians who wanted to be moms, were doing it because it was the thing to do, to want to be just like straights, especially middle class women.

I guess it isn’t enough to demonstrate that we are taxpayers like them and professionals, workers of all kind and law abiding citizens, we need to ape their life styles too. That should show them we are not any different.

I believed aping straight people was morally wrong for my cause and my time. I guess I’m old school, and not saying I’m right. However, I always reveled in the fact that we are different. And that difference was an identifier that I preferred. Then again I’m okay with whatever gets you through the night. As long as it doesn’t disturb my dreams. Perhaps it is a comfort to know that so many of us are just like them and therefore entitled to their wants and follies besides their freedoms and rights.

By: heidi

heidi — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 03:23:04 +0000

i love this article and i completely completely agree. I have often cited the reason for not wanting children being that i too am selfish. Isn’t it better to know that now before i bring a child into the world? I like to think so. For as long as i can remember I have said that I didn’t want to get married and I never wanted children. Marriage is now a different issue altogether as I have realized I would much rather spend my life with a woman as opposed to the shapeless, nameless, faceless, but all too dominating and constricting image of a “man” that I thought I would end up with when I envisioned my future. Again I can remember saying these things at like 8 or 9. So I have definitely heard my fair shares of you will change your mind. Part of me says I most certainly will not because if I don’t have my stubourness, i have nothing! There is a part of me that is terrified I will wake up and desire offspring though i have NO desire to reproduce, i too think pregnancy is a weird, strange phenomenon that i want no part of. So Im relying on my siblings and friends to have children whenever i feel the need to cuddle a wee babe.

On the first date of my most recent relationship we took a stroll to a park and played on the swings. A small child came up and said “no me gusta”. My date and I exchanged looks to each other, got up and left. No me gusta indeed. It was one of the most romantic things ever.

That was my rambling about how I feel like you climbed into my head and wrote an article that I wholeheartedly can identify with. great job jean!

By: Courtney

Courtney — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 14:09:42 +0000

Amen.

(See above comment)

By: Nick

Nick — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 00:44:00 +0000

Dear Prom Queen,

1) I think that you’d get an “Amen” from my partner when you say “Am I the only one who prays I fall in love with a person who has no interest in children?”

2) And because I know that I want a kid, reading this makes me want to search back into all of the conversations we’ve ever had and prove to myself that I’ve never been one of these people you speak of–to give pity when I should give applause. If I did, consider this my apology.

Sincerely,
Nick

By: L

Sat, 21 Nov 2009 19:55:03 +0000

Good article–I’ve experienced the pity reaction too, or the awkward confused look of the person who just doesn’t know how to react to a woman not caring whether kids are in the picture…

By: Lauren

Lauren — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 20:01:52 +0000

I think it’s definitely societal pressure put on women to have babies. It’s assumed that there is something wrong with you if you reach a certain age or relationship status and are child-less. Great article. Thanks!