Original illustration by Ryan Blomberg

It’s baaaaack! But this time I, Rohan, will be reviewing the latest crop of plastic discs and 010101’s dumped onto the general public. Things are going be a little different but still the same. Things I’ll keep: Zack’s format. Things that’ll change, well for starters we have different taste, but “Sounds like a combination of” might be more vague, and sometimes it is truly unnecessary, especially if the artist is on say record 6; they sound like themselves, just a little different – full circle, eh? Plus I’m gonna shift from just “indie” releases, and throw in pop, hip-hop, and other fun stuff. And I apologize if the “indie” stuff might get a little more loud, fuzzed out and less accessible. There is always shit for your dance party out there; go out to a cllllurrb to find new music. Oh and I might throw in the occasional single, because in this world of the internet you got to keep current.

GET THIS NOW, I MEAN IT:

Artist: Julian Casablancas
Album: Phrazes for the Young
What the hell is it?: Strokes front man goes solo and electro
Sounds like a combination of: The Strokes (duh) and Daft Punk (wha–)
For Example: 11^th Dimension
Recommended?: Every bit as good as the first two Strokes records, kinda makes you forget about that third one
Release Date: Nov. 3

Artist: Lightning Bolt
Album: Earthly Delights
What the hell is it?: Bass N Drums duo continue their path of total destruction
Sounds like a combination of: The sonic equivalent of beating the shit out of somebody
For Example: Sound Guardians
Recommended?: Fuck yeah!
Release Date: Oct. 13

Artist: Dragonette
Album: Fixin to Thrill
What the hell is it?: Canadian pop group who, in my opinion, released one of the best “pop” records of the decade go at it again
Sounds like a combination of: Little Boots, La Roux, Wonky Pop
For Example: Pick Up The Phone
Recommended?: Does your heart beat?
Release Date: Oct. 27

Artist: Real Estate
Album: Real Estate
What the hell is it?: NJ rockers mix beach vibes with whip-smart tunes
Sounds like a combination of: Underwater Peoples Records, Woodsist Records
For Example: Beach Comber
Recommended?: Yes, yes, and yes
Release Date: Nov. 17

“WOULDN’T KICK IT OUT OF BED FOR EATING CRACKERS”:

Artist: Amerie
Album: In Love & War
What the hell is it?: R&B singer tries to resurrect her career after being fucked by her label
Sounds like a combination of: Solange, Beyonce, Pick your R&B Diva
For Example: Heard Em All
Recommended?: She’s back!
Release Date: Nov. 3

Artist: Tegan and Sara
Album: Sainthood
What the hell is it?: Lesbian twin rockers
Sounds like a combination of: Metric, and shit – Tegan and Sara’s Last record
For Example: Arrow
Recommended?: I think I only like this because I really like Chris Walla’s (Death Cab for Cutie) production….
Release Date: Oct. 27

Artist: Broadcast and the Focus Group
Album: Broadcast and the Focus Group Investigate Witch Cults of The Radio Age
What the hell is it?: Hyper long EP (?) from Broadcast and their long time artistic collaborator, The Focus Group
Sounds like a combination of: Sound collages and Pop songs, AM radios on drugs
For Example: The Be Colony
Recommended?: Yes.
Release Date: Oct. 26

Artist: Cold Cave
Album: Love Comes Close
What the hell is it?: Matador reissue of new hot-shit electro band
Sounds like a combination of: New Order, Bauhaus, Noise
For Example: Love Comes Close
Recommended?: Did you used to frequent Nation, or have a hard-on for the non-pop Ladytron songs? Then why didn’t you have this when it was released earlier this year?
Release Date: Nov. 3

THIS IS JUST PURE SHIT:

Artist: Weezer
Album: Ratitude
What the hell is it?: C’mon, you’ve never heard of Weezer?
Sounds like a combination of: I don’t know, power-pop mixed with irony (I hope)
For Example: Can’t Stop Partying
Recommended?: Oh man, I was fooled into liking the first couple tracks, because I really wanted this to work. Yeah, the lyrics are terrible, but have you actually listened to the lyrics on an Interpol or New Order album? If you are/were a Weezer fan you know. You desperately want them to make another good record, but now four (yeah, fucking four!!) records past the passable, but kind of shitty in its time Green Album, comes this pile of garbage. This may have one or two (I’m generous) decent songs, but you can’t trust a band who writes a song like “Can’t Stop Partying (Ft. Lil Wayne).”
Release Date: Nov. 3

HAVE YOU HEARD THIS SONG YET?

Artist: Sleigh Bells
Song: Crown on the Ground
What the hell is it?: Ok, yeah I read Pitchfork, but I do so ya’ll don’t have to! This song is an epic R&B banga mixed into a loud distorted out noise track. Try not to bounce up and down to it! See, noise and dance music can mix.