A new poem for the week from Jeremy Pace.

Photo: Judy Ng

I want a man I can take a shower with
Turn around and take a bath with
Because that shower made us dirty
I want a man worthy
Of all of my thoughts and pieces
A full 5-paragraph complete with a thesis
I want a man who didn’t go sour
Within a year of coming out
I need a man who can share my doubts
Because he’s all about what I’m all about
I wanna smoke a bowl and curl into his nook
I wanna cuddle and giggle and take time to look
Over every freckle and hair that makes him real
The reality being that this thing that I feel
When I touch his imperfections and such
Might just be now, but might just be love
I wanna spend a whole day in sweatpants and socks
In a warm bed with cereal, him in his boxers
I wanna trace his tattoos with my trembling fingers
I want to sleep with his shirts where his smell lingers
I wanna play with his pets coo out their names
Because they love him hard and I feel the same
I want to say things with soul from somewhere within
Like “I need my man” with confidence
I want to stand up on stage and grow weak in the knees
Pass out and fail knowing his catching me
I want to curl up in a ball like before I was born
Watch him curled up too and feel like I’m home
I want to meet all his friends and only see him
While he tries to introduce me to them
I want to have him walk in on me
Singing and dancing to some Disney
Song
And join right along
Until we finish in some ridiculous way
Hitting the peaks of our gay
And laughing away
The rest of the day
I want to introduce him to mom
Have her jaw drop
Because as though she forgot
What she initially thought
She sees her son happy
And she just can’t stop
Smiling
I want to wait at his door because I forgot my key
And have him run from the Metro excitedly
With eyes still as new as the first day we met
The same eyes dry as they are soaking wet
I want to talk for hours until the night sees the sun
Then sleep with a fan deep beneath covers
Wrapped up in each other
Under a whole closet of blankets and sheets
While I tangle in him and he tangles in me
Wake up late, slowly and soft
Pick up the talk just where we left off
I want to cut his hair in the kitchen sink
Fuck on the sofa then stop and think
There must be a room we haven’t been in
Go the foyer and then fuck again
I want to be the ones who refuse to fuck
Because the location isn’t private enough
To allow for the screams we bring from our throats
We’d rather just wait than try to hold in
The songs we bring out when we become one
We just don’t allow for lazy fuckin’
If we are to go there it’s all or nothin’
We’d like to cut corners and just get it done
But that’s not our style, that’s just not us
It’s all or nothing when we make love right
It’s either all day, or it’s a full night
I want a man who lives with a fight
I need a man whose living despite
I want a man I can kiss at a rally
I want to see my man on the deck from the alley
And call up to him, have him turn with a grin
Give him a wink and just take him in
I want a man who can stop me from writing for days
Because the only poem in my life is his face
But he pulls out a poem because he wants to hear
The parts of me I don’t make too clear
And I’d give it to him because he was my man
And a poem is really the only thing that I can
Control in my life, to tell you my truths
So I sit down and write one to give him a view
And he sees that it’s him and that he’s what I need
And then takes a breath as he looks at me
And slowly disappears until the only thing left
Is this wish list that I’ll spend the rest
Of my life in search for, taking showers alone
Mr. Right, Mr. Now, and Mr. Take Home
Have all done their part to help me get grown
But I’ve set a course and turned off my phone
‘Cause I just want him here, just want Mr. Poem