Also while discussing healthcare reform.

This has been a long time coming, text messages, but I need to be completely open and honest with you: I hate you.

When I first signed up for a cellphone back in high school, I purposefully purchased a plan without text messages. If I remember correctly, I couldn’t even receive them (or send them). If somebody sent me a message, that would be a dime (or so) of theirs they threw down the telecommunications drain. I remember in high school my friends would come up to me in the hallway and say, “I sent you, like, three texts during class this morning. Where WERE you?” At which point I would tell them, matter-of-factly, that I don’t (nay, can’t and won’t) receive text messages. Then I would laugh maniacally and walk off down the hall. My logic at the time was that since I was paying for my own cellphone bill (which was a significant amount of money a month for a middle-class high schooler, something like $40 a month), why would I jack the price up to pay for snippity little digital notes when I could just pick up my cellphone or home phone and simply call my friends directly? Please note that this was at the dawn of the jacked up cellphone craze, before iPhones, Blackberries and other Smartphones. I was skeptical that text messages were just another fad that would probably fade away in time. Little did I know they would, instead, in a matter of years, monopolize the informal personal telecommunications market.

I entered college text-free, happy to be on my own and exploring a new world. I got along pretty well, calling my friends and family, keeping up regular communications by way of my college email address and, later on, Facebook. During my second year of college, I left to study abroad in a country where cellular communications is set up very differently. Instead of purchasing a lengthy and costly plan, all you need to do is buy a cell phone, any cellphone you want, and then purchase a sim card with a personal phone number, which would be installed into the phone. Instead of buying “minutes” as we do here in America, you simply add money to your phone’s chip by way of prepaid cards. The upside to this system was that you could receive both calls and texts for free, unlike in the US where you are charged for any form of communication going in and out of your mobile. In addition, text messages were much, much cheaper than making calls, so most young people I knew relied on text messages to communicate. For the first time in my life, I was forced to face text messages and their complicated and mysterious culture. Over time, I learned to enjoy texting, moving my fingers across my battered Nokia with ease. I started replacing whole words with single letters (“are” became “r”, etc.) and soon enough I could’ve set up a whole meeting between a friend and me, in a cafe, for two hours in the future, all while sitting in class and taking notes. I was converted.

For most young people these days texting is the medium for the majority of in-direct conversation. When I visit home, my younger sister is constantly churning out text message after text message, whipping her phone out and aggressively typing an emoticon-filled 25 letter response in less time it takes me to realize her phone is out at all. While my texting skills are no match to hers, I have found myself depending on text messages as a way to secretly commune with my friends and family, whether it’s at work, during a movie, a bad date, or simply on the bus. I have to admit: it’s fun, convenient, and safe.

But I have to put my foot down.

Everyone has their pet peeves. A friend of mine despises when her coworker clips his nails during their meetings (understandably…ew). Another friend hates people who are reliably late. For me, I despise those who find text messaging the only viable means of communication. I know some friends with whom I’ve only ever communicated, aside from face-to-face interactions, by text messages. And this drives me nuts. To me, text messages seem to be a cop out, a dangerous way to “advance reality” and put a pause on communication with another person. As opposed to direct telephone calls which involve one party making the call, the other either receiving or not, you are in complete control with text messaging. No direct interaction with the other person needs to be acknowledged, not a word uttered. For instance, it requires minimal effort to merely receive a text, erase it, not respond, and say you never received the message. One could say that this could be applied to any of today’s endless forms of communication, from emails to Facebook messages to that inane chitter-chatter-Meghan-McCain-loving-waste-of-time that is Twitter. But text messages are the most mobile way to indirectly communicate with another (although this is changing as Smartphones with data packages become more widespread).

Text Messaging Culture is political and confusing. There are myriad reasons why a recipient of a text message may not respond to its sender. There are myriad reasons the sender can imagine as to why that person hasn’t responded. Some people shun long text messages. Some people prefer them. I have a friend who sends messages that usually span three texts, with each message arriving randomly to my phone, probably out of order. “Robert and his boyfriend – way then to the concert where I’ll meet up with – I’m going to stop by Safe-.”

Ugh.

I am not saying we should do away with text messaging. That would never happen. Instead, I am calling for a redefinition of when to use and when not to use text messages. Whole conversations should, in my opinion, never be expressed through limited character typed-out messages. Yes, you can text me to let me know that Whole Foods is out of organic bananas. No, I will not discuss President Obama’s fiscal policies and his chances at re-election by text message. Don’t text me if grandma is on her deathbed. Please text me to let me know you are running late, be there soon!

Oy vey, TNG. What do you think? Is there a need to redefine when it is appropriate to call and when it is appropriate to text message? Am I being unreasonable? Will text messaging eventually take over actual direct phone calls, leading to a world where all mobile communication takes place in limited character notes?