Ask A Straight Guy: Patton Oswalt
Comedian Patton Oswalt, best known for a deeply disturbing riff on KFC’s “Famous Bowl” (see below) will be performing at the Lincoln Theatre this Thursday as part of Brightest Young Things’ Bentzen Ball comedy festival. If Oswalt’s frequent presence on the Onion AV Club and recent starring role in “Big Fan” are any indicators, he is fast becoming an “it” kid of indie stand up comedy. And apparently unwitting vegetarian activist, as who ever wants to eat chicken again after watching the clip below?
Oswalt was nice enough to answer some of our questions about being straight. You can check out the answers below.
The New Gay: When did you first realize you were straight?
Patton Oswalt: At a screening of Top Gun.
TNG: What is your least favorite stereotype about straight people?
PO: Our tolerance of gay people.
TNG: What obligations, if any, do you feel that you have to the gay community?
PO: To provide a visual warning of what would happen if they stopped working out and ingested a diet of mostly carbs and grease.
TNG: What are the biggest challenges faced by a straight person in today’s culture?
PO: Hetero-accessible ramps.
TNG: If you had to “go gay” for one member of the same sex, who would it be?
PO: Jason Statham. Although that’s already happened.
TNG: Given the seemingly endless number of “indie” comics in existence today, how do you think you set yourself apart from the crowd?
PO: With my strict and fawning adherence to the mainstream.
TNG: Finally, why should Washington, DC come out and see you perform tonight?
PO: Because I will reveal the Four Keys of the Uul-tharnen. Oh, and the dick jokes.
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