In The Ladies' Room: Halloween, Hallo-woe
Photo by Hans Bruesch, TNG Flickr Pool
I love Halloween. But this Halloween is looking like it’s going to be one of the tougher ones. I have no clue what I want to be. I’ve been really struggling to come up with a decent Halloween costume this year. As in, seriously struggling. And that’s the thing. I’m usually pretty good with costumes. In my own personal opinion, I think I’ve had some pretty good costumes over the years. Gay Dumbledore, tinsel (yes, the kind on Christmas trees) and one of my personal favorites, Alex Mack in silver-goop form. You name the theme party, I can find a great costume.
And that’s why it’s particularly embarrassing that I’m having so much trouble with Halloween this year. A few ideas have come and go, but nothing has really seemed right. The one decent idea I had thought of–being Sarah Palin’s book cover–was quickly dismissed. And next to some great ideas my friends had, I understood why.
So, I finally did it. The thing that I usually scorned others for. I used Google to try to think of a costume. My initial search didn’t yield much besides the usual slutty-lady-Halloween costumes, so I decided I might as well type in “lesbian Halloween costumes.”
Completely unsurprisingly, these options weren’t much better. A few of the suggestions:
- Any character from The L Word.
- Bride & Bride
- Butch or Femme
- Gynecologist
- Slutty Lesbian Disney Princesses
Seriously, these are easily some of the worst ideas I’ve ever heard. Any character from The L Word? That’s probably the least original idea ever. Not to mention the fact that the last thing we need are more Shane wanna-be’s running around. Gynecologist is just awkward and borderline offensive; “slutty lesbian Disney princesses” is just offensive and disgusting.
Granted, in my search, I did find one decent idea: the little Dutch boy and the dike. But that’s about it. I have a few more ideas, but all just about as lame. The girls from Tipping the Velvet. The girls from Fingersmith. Actually, being a character from Tipping the Velvet could actually be fun, if you were going to a very sex-positive party where showing up in gold body paint wearing a gold olden-days style strap-on was appropriate. But that costume would also limit you to just that one party, because I’m guessing most people don’t want to walk from party to party wearing a strap-on. But again, that’s just me.
I know I talked a big game in the first paragraph, but to be honest, I’ve had some throw-away costumes in the last few years. One year I wore all green and duct-taped some cardboard triangles to my back (I was a dinosaur). There was also the year I wore all black and made a star out of cardboard and colored it silver (my highly-creative Ninja costume). And it’s looking like this year is going to be another easy one. As a woman with brown, wavy-shoulder length hair, brown eyes, thick plastic-framed glasses and a propensity towards fashion sneakers, there the one choice that’s incredibly easy: Tina Fey. More specifically, I’m going to be her character on 30 Rock. Because then I can at least tape a giant “TGS with Tracy Jordan” sign on my hoodie so that everyone won’t just think I decided to dress up as myself for Halloween.
Do you all have any better ideas? At least for lesbian Halloween costumes?
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kate & kate plus eight (substitute cats for kids)
“the last thing we need are more Shane wanna-be’s running around.” touché.
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