Welcome to TNG’s weekly motherly advice column, The Mother Lode! This week, Zack’s mom, Gaga, is here to answer you pressing questions!

Q: Dear Mom,

Next month, I’ll be turning 28 and, even though I’m not sure what exactly I want to do with my life and I’ve never been in a romantic relationship that’s lasted more than a year, I’m having a great time. I like my job. I’ve got a decent place. I’ve got great friends. But now that I’m officially pushing 30, I’m feeling this societal pressure to settle down. Everything in me wants to resist and keep partying and having fun with my friends, but there’s this nagging voice (which sounds a lot like my Dad and all my married/coupled friends) in my head saying “You should get a dog and a boyfriend and a mortgage,” and I don’t know how to reconcile those two things. Any thoughts?

Thanks,
Clueless in Columbia Heights

A: Dear Clueless,

You actually sound anything but clueless – I read you as a self-aware young man, reflecting on his life’s goals and purposes. It appears you are enjoying the life you are leading and feel no need to make any major changes at the current time.

The nagging voice you hear is one that all of us struggle with at some time during our lives – the “should” voice, the parental voice, the societal voice. After all, human beings are communal creatures, shaped by the values and mores of the families and cultures that we grow up in. Even as adults, our decision-making among the myriad possibilities and choices that face us every day is by necessity greatly influenced by these earlier exposures.

Ultimately, you need to choose a lifestyle that suits you here and now. Because any commitment to one path automatically rules out the “road not taken,” you may always struggle with the questions of “what if?” and “what else?” especially as a reflective person. This is part of the price of personhood.

A pet, a committed relationship and home ownership are major responsibilities and should ideally be undertaken when one feels that the pleasures gained will outweigh the sacrifices required. Who knows? Maybe a year from now the voice you hear may be your own longing for a Jack Russell, a serious relationship, and a condo?

Best of luck,
Gaga

Got a burning question for our moms? Send it to submit@thenewgay.net. Rocky’s mom will be back again next week to assist you with any and all of your problems. Until then!

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