Ask A Straight Guy: Butterfly Bones’ Steve Lance
San Francisco party band Butterfly Bones sound like a lot of fun. Besides the fact they traffic in MGMT-style, take no prisoners, “must be wearing sunglasses indoors or else” style synth music, they also indicate below that they tried to play an entire show with their drummer in a shrimp costume. Oh, and they’re a bunch of straight guys gracing tonight’s Mixtape dance party at Dahlak (guest DJ’d by yours truly, located at 1771 U St., NW) which means they like to make the homos dance. How could I resist getting their keyboard player Steve Lance to answer some of our questions about being straight?
The New Gay: When did you first realize you were straight?
Steve Lance: There were a few false starts. When I was seven I had a dream where a girl I liked and I were naked together and I told my mom and cried about. But from a fairly early age I hoped to marry Shirley Temple. I had a lot of sexy dreams about her, usually in which she would teach me to tap dance and we would win the battle of Okinawa or something, with or without Tommy Lasorda as a kindly but battle-hardened sergeant. I was also very sexually attracted to Tinker Bell in the movie, and I remember every now and then I would steal Barbies from my sister and draw them naked. I don’t know what I did about the nipples.
TNG: What is your least favorite stereotype about straight people?
SL: I don’t know: there are some pretty stereotypical straight people. But if our band is a good sample group, then straight people listen to a lot more Madonna than they get credit for.
TNG: What obligations, if any, do you feel that you have to the gay community?
SL: I think straight men owe the gay community a lot of props for male fashion and art and stuff. And then also, visibly gay people are sort of like cultural pioneers who let us all relax and act a little gayer. But I think there really is a responsibility for progressive people, especially straight men, to speak up against gay-bashing, whether it’s in the form of a joke or an amendment to a state constitution. Homophobia is a straight problem, not a gay one. [Editors note: Amen, Steve!]
TNG: What are the biggest challenges faced by a straight person in today’s culture?
SL: Being straight isn’t all Pabst and lapdances. I feel like a lot of straight men in certain circles expend a lot of effort trying to make sure they come off as straight. Which must be weird.
TNG: If you had to “go gay” for one member of the same sex, who would it be?
SL: Would he have to be into it? Maybe the guys in Y Tu Mama Tambien.
TNG: Given the seemingly endless number of “indie” artist in existence today, how do you think you set yourself apart from the crowd?
SL: When we started out we used a lot of fairly blatant gimmicks to set ourselves apart. Reese used to dress up as a sexy sailor, and we were always trying to hire our friends as back-up dancers. (That was back before we had any of the rad moves we’ve since mastered.) I also remember we posted flyers for one show saying Too $hort would be the featured guest, which I’m sure got a few people to come. And we tried for a few days to find a huge shrimp costume which was rumored to be in somebody’s closet somewhere in Berkeley, the idea being for Joe to wear it while he played drums, which in retrospect is probably impossible. I don’t think you can sit down in a shrimp costume. Now I guess we try to set ourselves apart by shopping at American Apparel. Just kidding. By being the best band in the world.
TNG: Finally, why should Washington, DC come out and see you play tonight?
SL: Beause Too $hort will be there! Or no, really, because otherwise we’ll have no one to dance with. TNG
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