This post was submitted by Rocky

Welcome to TNG’s new Tuesday afternoon mixtape, The People’s Playlist, where every week we choose a theme and make a playlist of songs based on that theme. Also, be sure to stay tuned for our weekly Left Turn, a special video surprise!

This week, we’re talking about personal theme songs. I’ve had a few. Here’s a quick autobiography in five songs…

When I was a youth, I was an actor. Seriously. All I wanted to do when I was younger was move to New York and be on Broadway. And I was good too, seeing as how I was totally in the closet, and, therefore, acting every second of every goddamn day. Might as well make a career out of it, you know? I mean all of you who were (or currently are) in the closet know what I’m talking about. It’s torture, right? Calibrating every gesture and word for maximum outward heterosexuality. Never ever for one millisecond letting your guard down. Ugh. Well, at seventeen I was an actor and a soldier, constantly at war with myself. At night, alone in my room, this song was my call to arms:

And then around my Junior year of college, I let go of my heterosexual fantasy and took my first baby steps towards self-acceptance. I’d met a guy. I was sleeping with him every night. I was in love. Or at least in some Robotussin-induced approximation of it. But then he ran off to California with our drug dealer without so much as a goodbye, and I was alone. I tried to go out and be comfortable in this new gay, single skin, but it just wasn’t working out. It felt like there was some gay standard operating procedure that I hadn’t been made aware of, and this made me sad and frustrated. So like every sad, frustrated college Junior since the beginning of time, I went into full-on loner/stoner Moz mode:

Things kind of got worse post-college. It was a time of great upheaval. Lots of moving, soul-searching, and cocaine. You know how that goes. I think I was too busy having nervous breakdowns at the time to really pay attention to anything that was going on outside my own head, but had this song been written at the time, I’ve no doubt I’d have had it on repeat as I moistened a joint with my tears. I lived pretty much every single line of this song, but you know I am a liar:

And then, after a few years of that bullshit, I finally opened my eyes. Suddenly, I’d been in DC for a couple of years, which was never part of the plan. I’d fallen in love. I’d gotten my heart broken. After years and years of falling, I’d finally hit bottom. But somehow – and I’ve no idea how – I managed to get up and crawl through the disaster that I’d made of my adult life and drunkenly stumble into a community of the best friends a fellow could ask for. For the first time in my life, I was a part of a family. For the first time, I felt needed and wanted despite all my craziness, and somehow that allowed the craziness to subside (somewhat). Their support gave me the strength and courage I needed to pick myself up, rebuild, and move forward. Their love allowed me to embrace my imperfections, forgive my mistakes and, finally, just fucking relax. Time to celebrate! (Thanks, guys! Love you!):

And now? Well, now the war is over, and peace reigns across the land. But I still have a touch of the PTSD. So on those days when I wake up and I feel shackled to my bed, crippled with envy or self-doubt or whatever pointless negative emotion happens to be in the air that day, I put this song on to remind me that those shackles don’t actually exist. I’m alive. I’m loved. I’m free. (And so are you, by the way…):

So that’s me.

Last week, however, I asked all of you to send me your theme songs. At this point in your life, if there was one song that played every time you walked into a room, what would it be? Here are the results! As always, if you have something to say, please feel free to sound off in the comments, and if you want to make your voice heard on next week’s tape, here’s the topic:

Let’s make it easy. Don’t you love it when you’re in a bar or at a party and a song comes on that everybody knows? Everybody gets so happy, and cheers and then sings along at the top of their lungs. It happened to me a brunch last Sunday with “Total Eclipse of the Heart,” and it turned my frown upside-down, and almost made me forget the events of the previous evening. Almost. But then I guess that’s why the good Lord invented two-dollar mimosas. But I digress…

Tell me friends: What’s your favorite drunken sing-along song?

Send your suggestions to me at rocky@thenewgay.net by COB Friday to get on next Tuesday’s playlist. Until then, enjoy the music and stay tuned for this week’s Left Turn. Do it to it, y’all!

What Would We Do Baby Without Us? – 8/11/09

Beatles – “Good Day Sunshine” (Jean)
Daft Punk – “Da Funk” (Hans)
Matthew Wilder – “Break My Stride” (Whitney)
Kelis – “Young, Fresh and New” (Adam)
Meredith Brooks – “Bitch” (Jolly)
Kate Bush – “Hounds of Love” (Jack)
Walter Murphy – “A Fifth of Beethoven” (Mike B.)
ELO – “Strange Magic” (Zack)
Arlo Guthrie – “City of New Orleans” (Matt’)
War – “Low Rider” (Gem)
Moby – “Everloving” (Kat)
Air – “Talisman” (Rocky)

And now this week’s Left Turn! Most of you probably didn’t recognize the last jam in my intro. It’s called “House of Diamonds,” and it’s the first track of off Bowerbirds’ new album, Upper Air. I think I talked about how much I loved their last one, Hymns For A Dark Horse, in a What We’re Listening To a while back, but since then my ardor has kind of turned into an obsession. One that I so desperately want to share. So here they are live… somewhere, doing one of my favorite songs in the whole world, “Olive Hearts,” a melancholy ode to those determined to keep the party going long after it’s supposed to have ended. (No, I suppose this isn’t really a Left Turn at all, but let me just have this one…)

And that’s that. I’m off to bucolic Asheville, NC for Harvest Records’ Transfiguration fest, but I will be back here bright and early (and undoubtedly hungover) next Tuesday with a full report. Until then, have a wonderful week! XO!

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