This post was submitted by Jean

While temporarily in Austin, TX, between two very different chapters of my life, I’ve been doing much of the relaxing that my previous five years of uber-responsibility has not afforded.

Austin is a great place to relax. Every night of the week you can find live music, outdoor seating (complete with fans and misters to combat the stifling temperatures) and cheap beer. You can always find people who want to go out on a Monday, an easy parking spot and a seat at the bar. There is only one thing I haven’t found in my first week in this charming city: Queers.

Oh, I’m sure they are out there. I know this is Texas, but Austin is a little blue haven in the big red ocean. I see Obama stickers, pink hair and tattoos covering exposed flesh like murals of experience. I see a lot of liberal-looking people, but I haven’t seen the queers. In one week, I’ve been in maybe ten bars, and have consistently felt like the only gay in the village.

I could just be conditioned by the (more) Northern urban areas in which I have lived to believe that there is often a visual aspect to being a part of the LGBTQ community. I’ve written before about the “rite of passage” I experienced when I cut my hair into a faux hawk. My sexual orientation became visually apparent to everyone I encountered. It’s something I like about having the short hair cut – that I’m answering a question before it is asked. I’m not really sure if there is a visual connection between gay men, but I have always felt it among gay women.

I like eating in a restaurant in DC or riding the L in Chicago and being able to ‘tag’ a gay girl by her style of dress or her haircut – maybe its the plastic framed glasses or the Ani Difranco sticker on her laptop, but it’s something visual. She might look at me – just a glance – in a way that offers some kind of acknowledgment. I know not every lesbian or queer woman looks the part, but many do, and it’s something that has made a bar a dating opportunity or a party a safe space. I don’t like gay bars; I just want to see gay people at regular bars. I like feeling that I’m not alone.

There are several possible answers to my conundrum.

#1. Maybe I’m just going to the wrong bars or hanging out in the wrong part of town (most likely).

#2. Maybe in Austin gay women just look different than I expect. Maybe they just look like women.

#3. The gay women in Austin might only hang out in gay or lesbian bars.

#4. There are no gay gals in Austin, TX (not probable).

#5. All the gays are avoiding me (possible).

Have I just been spoiled by the ease of community in Chicago’s Boystown or DC’s Dupont Circle, or am I just not looking in the right place?

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