This post was submitted by Amelie

Those are just my symptoms, though, not what actually happens to me while trying to care for them. My nose turns bright red and starts peeling from all the blowing and wiping. At night, to keep me from waking up at random points with snot running down my face, I have to stick tissues up both of my nostrils. Needless to say, it’s not my most attractive time.

And, unfortunately, I tend to get sick a lot. Remember that kid with allergies that was constantly sniffling and sneezing, coming down with cold after cold? That’s me. Luckily, I’m finally in a serious relationship where I can do what I need to do and be as gross as I want to be when I’m sick. But that doesn’t mean I haven’t had my fair share of learning experiences before that. Readers, I give you my list of Things Not To Do With A Cold.

Try to meet someone
I’ve never been good at the whole “when you’re sick, you should rest, not go out and drink.” But sitting still has never been my strong point, which is why I would still go out when I was sick, but I bring along a roll of toilet paper, or just stuff my pockets with as many tissues as I could. I generally went home alone those nights and woke up the next morning more of a mess than I was before.

Go on a first date
I also made the mistake of going on a first date once when I was just getting over a cold. In the midst of explaining why I had the sniffles, how I wasn’t contagious anymore, I had just developed my traditional post-cold sinus infection, she interrupted me. “Wow, it must be hard to be a hipster when you’ve tissues in your hands all the time. That’s not very cool.” Sure, she said the remark kind of jokingly. But still! I learned two things that day. 1) Apparently, hipsters don’t get sick and 2) if you’re sick, reschedule the date.

Try to make girls your girlfriend
I’ve attempted to use being sick as a way to get girls I’ve been sort-of seeing to take our relationship to that next level, when you take care of each other when you’re sick. You know, like how it works in the movies. I found out the hard way, this does not work in real life. One girl I dated brought me a cold-pack from the Student Health Center (knock-off Sudafed, Gatorade and chicken noodle soup) but then left really quickly, fearing she would catch my cold and miss her field hockey game that weekend. Then another time, I thought it was working when the girl of the moment said, “Awww, I’ve never seen you look so vulnerable before.” Except then she left and I was left by myself on the couch to watch more Frasier and accept what the previous week’s binge drinking had done to me.

So, there you go. Be wary of the above activities. But remember, there’s one thing that you can’t prevent that will probably happen when you’re in your most sniffly, sneezy and crusty state: running into that one ex you would never want to see you like that.

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